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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to accidently spill my coffee on dd's collage of "insperational women" and make her re-do it

211 replies

bonded · 02/11/2014 07:13

None of the woman she has picked are insperational, maybe Beyonce but I dont like her faux feminism.

Also on this collage there is a certain voilent racist Geordie, a wag that's married to the guy with the hair transplant and a certain popstar who's surname ryhmes with whora who has lots of dodgy stories...

Basically it looks like she's shallow and just chosen dumb/ horrible models. I gave her a load of guardians to use but looks like she's got a trashy mag also.

Aibu?

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 02/11/2014 14:29

Sorry, wasn't this meant to be joke on MNetters and our supposed Guardian-reading habits?

That's how I took it. A joke. Not a very good one, admittedly.

Does anyone else think OP really believes it?

SanityClause · 02/11/2014 14:30

It's doubtful if Condoleeza Rice would have risen to such a position if she had had natural hair. People with natural African hair are usually taken less seriously than those with straightened hair.

Is that wrong? Yes, it's wrong that the world is that way. But Ms Rice didn't get to make the rules.

And, incidentally, Maggie Thatcher dyed her hair blonde as she thought it would assist her political career. So, better cross her off your list, as well.

BitOutOfPractice · 02/11/2014 14:34

"So you are worried that your DD might appear shallow and uneducated?
She's 9, what's your excuse? "

Brilliant!

VinoTime · 02/11/2014 14:40

My 7.5 year old's list would currently be:

J.K. Rowling because she's a wonderful writer who created Harry Potter.

Elsa and Anna from Frozen because they chose sisterhood over boys Grin

Cleopatra. She recently completed a topic on ancient Egypt at school and found Cleopatra absolutely fascinating. In dd's own words: "She didn't want to be ruled by the men in Rome. She was very strong and stubborn. She was a good queen because she wanted the best for her people."

Our local vet because she helps animals in need.

The recent referendum in Scotland led us to talk about why it was important to vote, which naturally led to me explaining all about the Suffragettes. DD was quite intrigued by my seriously lacking knowledge of them and what they stood for. She thinks they were very brave for standing up for what they believed in and for trying to make the world a fairer place for women.

Miss Honey from Roald Dahl's 'Matilda'. DD thinks Miss Honey is amazing - she's brave and kind and loves Matilda. I'm told frequently that I should be more like her ShockGrin

I should note, we don't watch TV in this house (I deliberately don't have a licence) because I cannot abide the trash that's on and all the adverts. I don't buy rag mags and I'm not really a fan of commercialised pop music. We read a lot and watch movies, but my dd isn't really faced with the whole celebrity thing at home. I don't think she even knows who Beyonce is to be honest.

CalamitouslyWrong · 02/11/2014 15:05

I don't understand why people seem to think that children's inspiration has to all be pop stars. Vino has just posted some great suggestions that are exactly the sort of thing a 9 year old could come up with if you talk to them about what sort of qualities and achievements they find inspiring. Elsa and Anna from frozen and miss honey may be fictional, but I'm not sure that matters. Most 9 year olds are likely to have come across Harry potter (or of not Jacqueline Wilson's books) and may well find the women who wrote them inspiring in that basis. Hermione Granger would also be a good option (even if fictional).

limitedperiodonly · 02/11/2014 15:17

we don't watch TV in this house (I deliberately don't have a licence) because I cannot abide the trash that's on and all the adverts. I don't buy rag mags and I'm not really a fan of commercialised pop music. We read a lot and watch movies, but my dd isn't really faced with the whole celebrity thing at home. I don't think she even knows who Beyonce is to be honest

Well done you.

somewheresomehow · 02/11/2014 15:21

you dont like her interpretation so your going to trash it Hmm

Alisvolatpropiis · 02/11/2014 15:23

Vino

That isn't going to serve her well come high school.

JoyceDivision · 02/11/2014 15:29

Op, I would keep this thread for your use, but start a new thread that you will let your DD read, something along the lines of

'MyDD has to create an inspirational women project, here are the people she has picked, I think there are other choices that are much better,could you mumsnetters make some suggestions DD might enjoy finding outabout, and suggest why some of the people she has picked may not be very good role models?

DownByTheRiverside · 02/11/2014 15:30

Is this homework for tomorrow?

madwomanbackintheattic · 02/11/2014 15:56

lol, ignoring the fact that this is a crap joke thread, we've been running this activity with our girl guide sections as part of the international day of the girl stuff.

The 9yos all pick slebs. Some authors.
By 12-14, they all pick family members or their own youth leaders (gratifying, and leads one to suspect they might be more canny than you realise).

No need to fret though, we went though a list of the adult recommendations, which included Malala, Ms Rice, Hillary Clinton, Margaret Thatcher (bahahaha) Marie Curie, Florence Nightingale, Deepa Mehta, Mother Teresa, a bazillion writers, local female community leaders, and a big discussion of what constitutes inspirational, including both individual and national/ international contexts.

Oddly, it didn't occur to anyone present to judge the women under discussion for their hair choices, although had it come up, we would undoubtedly covered prejudice and social expectations, and the 'no choices are made in a vacuum' theory. We did ponder why they had chosen the women they selected though, and asked them if they thought their choices were influenced by 'what women are supposed to be like' - caring, nurturing, looking after children - once they had escaped from the earlier TV controlled 'pretty, sexy, famous' trope.

My hair is grey. I have one girl in one of the groups with pink hair (this week. Sometimes it's purple, or blue, or green).

And I am still lolling about the coke. Bahahaha ha.

madwomanbackintheattic · 02/11/2014 15:58

Oh, and Shami Chakrabarti. We chatted quite a lot about whether you should be inspired by what the women actually achieved, or by their strength and other qualities, even if you disagreed with their politics/ hair care choices.

I lied about the hair choices.

madwomanbackintheattic · 02/11/2014 15:59

Not should, could. Who am I to dictate what inspires others?

BoneyBackJefferson · 02/11/2014 16:43

OP please remember that they are her inspiration not yours, and that they will change over the years by pushing this you make well make her think that her view is pointless and affect her self esteem.

limitedperiodonly · 02/11/2014 17:30

Is this homework for tomorrow?

DownTheRiverside are you also wondering whether OP and her phantom nine-year-old might be frantically Googling Mary Seacole, Angela Davis, Marsha Hunt and other ladies of colour with unrelaxed hair?

Things I Have Learned: Never make things up leave your homework until Sunday teatime.

Unfortunately, I only learned that a good 10 years after leaving school.

The leaving your homework thing, that is. I learned the other thing after an embarrassing incident aged eight.

Timetoask · 02/11/2014 17:38

Op, this is probably a good wake up call for you as a parent. She cannot produce a collage of women shehas not been exposed to. You have a little project in your hands

Bonbonbonboo · 02/11/2014 17:42

How about Noor Inayat Khan, Elizabeth Garrett Anderson, even Julia Childs?

WorraLiberty · 02/11/2014 17:43

Oh god what a cringeworthy thread

Poor kid is either going to end up hiding her homework in future, or just handing it straight to her Mum to do it for her.

Either way, if she's asked to explain why these people are so inspirational to her, she's going to feel like an utter twat when she can't explain.

SpringBreaker · 02/11/2014 18:08

Lets just hope OP isnt one of the inspirational women on the daughters list..

BlueberryWafer · 02/11/2014 18:25

Shouldn't it be about who she finds inspirational? Not you? It's her collage. Who are you to determine who she finds inspirational.

Maki79 · 02/11/2014 18:25

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the posters request.

limitedperiodonly · 02/11/2014 18:39

When I was a girl we had Domestic Science homework which boiled down to Vitamin/Mineral/Food Group of the Week.

We had to cut out pictures illustrating things that were rich in that week's choice.

So it was carrots for Vit A, Guinness for Vitamin D and these days it would be Wayne Rooney for carbohydrates.

Whyamihere · 02/11/2014 18:50

Just asked dd2 who's 10 the question, her choices are Jacqueline Wilson, Enid Blyton, Elinor Brent Dyer (dead author), Jessica Ennis and the Queen!!! Not sure what to make of the list, except it reflects her reading habits.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 02/11/2014 20:13

Vino. I agree. J.K Rowling is great inspiration. She went from being 2p short of a tin of beans to being a multi billionaire. Achieved through hard work and determination.

PhaedraIsMyName · 02/11/2014 20:36

I can't identify any of the "inspirational" people from the information in the OP's opening post.

Re Victoria Beckham it's ironic that she can probably be blamed for creating WAG culture despite being the only WAG with a genuine career of her own before and after being a WAG.