to accidently spill my coffee on dd's collage of "insperational women" and make her re-do it

[bonded]

None of the woman she has picked are insperational, maybe Beyonce but I dont like her faux feminism.

Also on this collage there is a certain voilent racist Geordie, a wag that's married to the guy with the hair transplant and a certain popstar who's surname ryhmes with whora who has lots of dodgy stories...

Basically it looks like she's shallow and just chosen dumb/ horrible models. I gave her a load of guardians to use but looks like she's got a trashy mag also.

Aibu?

So many useful and positive suggestions here.
All I'll add is that as a primary teacher, and judging you based solely on this thread, you are the sort of parent that truly pisses me off.

'Basically it looks like she's shallow and just chosen dumb/ horrible models. I gave her a load of guardians to use but looks like she's got a trashy mag also.'

It's more about how you think this reflects on you.

If she doesn't know any examples of inspirational women you approve of, you haven't put much thought into why that is, or what the teacher is planning to do with all the crap examples she's going to get.
Initiate discussions, listen to what they think is inspirational about a particular women and encourage them to be critical of their reasons, develop their researching skills, broaden their understanding and hopefully find some current examples rather than the same old names that pop up from the last century.

Yabu she's 9 not 16. There's no need for such hand wringing.

I hope this is the beginnings of a fascinating topic in her classroom, and that she's not at a single-sex school.

There are really people who'd dictate who their children should find inspirational? She's 9 years old. Of course she's going to find popstars and celebrities inspirational! Most 9 year olds do!

Have a discussion about who your inspirational women are. Give her the reasons why. Let her tell you her reasons for her choices. But for fucks sake, it's a collage of her inspirational women, not "Women My Mummy Finds Inspirational".

The teacher will see right through it and your DD could end up being punished for not showing her own feelings.

way to teach your kids that their opinions are valid and the importance of independent thinking.

pulple (promise I am not picking on you), I think we can.

For the argument's sake, I don't think my DD knows who Cheryl Cole is, she might have heard of her (she just walked in-she thinks she might be an author but she's not sure), and she's older than OP's DD. We just ensured that her interests take her somewhere else.

It's quite a homework for a 9 year old, I remember I had to do similar at 12.

Adele might be a tax dodger but her husband is a Good Egg. He's also a low profile good egg so I'm not going to talk about what he does re local charities but suffice to say it's the sort of help that corporations should be giving - really useful and without hope of getting acclaim for it.

Why do you hope she's not at a single sex school, Down?

I was the kind of child who would have had lots of genuinely inspirational women on my collage without prompting. If I was doing it again I'd do pop stars too! It's not much fun being the annoying earnest child.

'The teacher will see right through it and your DD could end up being punished for not showing her own feelings. '

Why punish a child because her mother appears as if she might be a snobby twat?
When I used to set homework and children came in with ten pages of double click and print, the easiest way to find out who'd done the homework was to ask a couple of questions about the facts, and ask their opinion on something.
No input, no opinions.

'Why do you hope she's not at a single sex school, Down?'

Because I'd like boys to see the point of finding about inspirational women and to have fun and involvement doing so. Less niche, more educational.
Far too often the default setting for key figures is male.

It isn't a case of dictating what a 9 year old should find inspirational. It's recognising that she'll probably need some help and discussion to figure out what she does find inspirational. Otherwise all you get is 'women I've heard of and who I think are pretty' (as the OP's daughter did).

You can talk about lots of women and their achievements and then let her make her choices.

Does it have to be famous women? Can you not look through a local paper and find some 'ordinary' women doing things. There are often people running marathons, people who have helped at car accidents, people with very ill children raising money for others, people who helped someone's gran with their shopping when they were struggling type stories. Ordinary people can do inspiring things too.

How about some fictional characters that are good role models? Not that different from 'Sasha Fierce' and 'Mrs Carter' who are both constructs.

Or authors? JK Rowling, the Brontes?

Talk to her about what "inspirational" means. She's nine - she probably thinks it means you like them!

YABU. Your daughter has chosen the women she finds inspirational, not the women you want her to find inspirational. Her homework, her choice.

It would be interesting to know if the homework is a precursor to studying inspirational women or an end result. If it's the former then the teacher is probably hoping that they will all choose celebrities and contemporary icons so that she can introduce them to older, more obscure and more truly inspirational women.

I don't think your daughter's shallow or unusual, she's just 9. If my 11 (almost 12) year old did that then there'd be nothing but dancers, actresses and singers on there. Those are her passions so that's what she'd find inspirational. Not influential feminists, business women and heroines.

This is interesting. I get quite confused by role model talk. I often think that the most influential role models are people you actually know. Somebody who has had a hard time but is unswervingly kind and generous. I am inspired by my friends and family quite often. Perhaps there is someone she knows who inspires her?

she is 9. unbelievable post. she has pulled this together from her 9 year old view of the world which is very different from the view of a 30/40 something parent. honestly. Lighten up.

Okay, thanks for that explanation, Down.

Hmm, did you say Default... Male? Didn't happen to read Grayson Perry's excellent piece in The New Statesman, did you?

PLEASE GET SOME FEMALE SCIENTISTS ON THERE! They are grossly overlooked and there are many to choose from.

I think you need to have a chat with your DD as what you find inspirational and what she finds inspirational. I think that this age they do look up to pop stars etc. however that will change with time.

I'd be careful how much you interfere otherwise it will be obvious IYSWIM?

Tell her about the suffragettes.

Perhaps, they genuinely are an inspiration to her though. Not ideal in your opinion but her choice surely?

My idea of inspirational women and my 9 year old daughters would be vastly different. Likewise my 9 year old self would have chosen very differently to my 31 year old self. Neither is wrong as such, just relevant to different stages of my life and maturity.

'Hmm, did you say Default... Male? Didn't happen to read Grayson Perry's excellent piece in The New Statesman, did you?'

Nope, what was he saying?