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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed of with DH about car seats?

141 replies

HoodwinkedByStealth · 24/10/2014 20:33

We've had an ongoing discussion about moving DD, 2.5, into a high backed booster, the type secured by a seat belt. I think she is too small, DH thinks I'm being over protective and silly.

I will admit to not knowing how much she weighs, I'm guessing around 13 kg. DH says she doesn't fit in her current seat anymore, I think she's ok in it. He says it's not fair on her because DS was in a high backed booster by this age (but he was far heavier and larger than she was at this age, certainly over the 15kg limit). She sometimes doesn't want to go in her seat and tries to get into Ds's. I think tough. She needs to be in the seat so I put her in it.

I asked him to come and collect us today after Ds's judo lesson and he did. He puts Dd in the car, unusual as he usually does DS as he's on the driver's side. I turn to look at DD on the way home and discover she is in a new car seat. He didn't ask me, has just switched it. She of course was happy in it. I feel really let down that he didn't even ask me. AIBU to think he should have asked me first, and at least checked out her size/weight?

OP posts:
AnythingNotEverything · 24/10/2014 20:35

YANBU. Should be a joint decision, and certainly only once you know what she weighs.

OfficeNewGirl · 24/10/2014 20:36

I thought high backed boosters were for children 4 years plus.

Over my dead body will a child of mine be in a high backed booster at that age

Sirzy · 24/10/2014 20:37

YANBU.

DS is 5 next month and has only just gone into a HBB when he hit 18kg. No need for a 2 year old to be in a HBB

gamerchick · 24/10/2014 20:37

Well it depends in whether she was forward facing before the switch or not.

If she was then it doesn't make any difference imo.

Wolfiefan · 24/10/2014 20:38

Why did you have an ongoing discussion rather than just weighing her?

bluetrain · 24/10/2014 20:40

I would be furious. I can't even think of an appropriate response because all I can think about is how furious I would be.

Ijustworemytrenchcoat · 24/10/2014 20:41

I wouldn't be at all happy either, I would say she's far too young. I would post in the car seat section (under products on the talk list) and somebody may be able to give you some statistics and safety info. I have always read you shouldn't move a child to the next stage seat until they reach the limit, and it think it may go on height now as well, but am prepared to be corrected on that.

TheWhisperingDeath · 24/10/2014 20:41

My twin (4.5) are still in seats with five point harnesses.

To go in boosters they need to be above a certain height as well as weight I think.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 24/10/2014 20:43

YANBU. I thought high back boosters were for age 3/4 up, even my DD who is very tall and heavy for her age was still in a stage 2 car seat until she was 3 and a half. Under 3 seems very young to be in just a high back booster.
I would suggest you take all take a trip to a Mothercare fit centre and get them to tell you which seat would be best for your child (or somewhere like that - we found them to be very good and even advised us DD was too small for the next stage at one point). That may be the best way to settle this, or get the instructions for the new seat, then weigh and measure your child to see if she meets the minimum guidance as per the seat instructions.
To me 2 and a half is far to young to be out of a 5 point harness.

OfficeNewGirl · 24/10/2014 20:43

Many booster seats have a minimum weight of 30-33 lbs. However, a booster seat should not be the next purchase when the child outgrows a convertible seat. A child is safest if they remain in a harnessed seat until they reach at least 40 lbs.

petalsandstars · 24/10/2014 20:49

My 3rd you is still in the seat with 5 point harness she moved into after her group 0. She's likely to be too light. Get her on the scales in the morning and check the min/max on the old and new seats.

petalsandstars · 24/10/2014 20:50

Damn autocorrect. 3yo

Itsfab · 24/10/2014 20:58

Tomorrow, weigh your child. Why are some people so desperate to get their kids into the next this that and the other?

3 seconds to google this -

Type of seat

Weight

Rear-facing baby seats Babies up to 13kg
Forward or rear-facing baby seats Children from 9 to 18kg
Forward-facing child car seats (booster seats) Children from 15 to 25kg
Booster cushions Children over 22kg

ilovepowerhoop · 24/10/2014 20:59

She should be minimum 15kg and preferably 18kg (upper weight limit for harnessed seat) before going into a hbb. It is dangerous to use it if she is not heavy enough for it. yanbu

IAmASkeletonLover · 24/10/2014 21:02

She isn't heavy enough to engage the locking mechanism of a seat belt. She might as well not be strapped in at all. Your dh needs to get shown some facts. Now.

RandomMess · 24/10/2014 21:12

I'd be fuming, absolutely fuming Angry

LittleBearPad · 24/10/2014 21:17

I'd be bloody livid. Why does it matter to him so much.

How hard can it be to weigh her anyway?

WoodliceCollection · 24/10/2014 21:24

Don't they do it based on height now? My 4yo is only ~17kg just now (has always been fairly skinny but only just below average height so taller than her weight iyswim), there is no way she would fit into a toddler seat still so she goes in high-back booster, which is actually probably safer as it protects her head whereas it would be sticking out the top of a toddler style seat. (I don't know where you can get rear facing toddler seats from in the UK tbh so changing direction wasn't the issue). You can measure height even if you don't have scales at home, too.

WoodliceCollection · 24/10/2014 21:25

At 2.5 though I would stick with toddler seat so YANBU about that, sorry was rambling!

JADS · 24/10/2014 21:32

YANBU. I would weigh her and if she is under 18 kg I would be swapping the seat back.

My dh was the same - desperate to move ds up in car seats. Fortunately ds is very light so was in the infant carrier to 18 months and has only hit 15kg one month before his 4th birthday. We do have a HBB in our second car but generally ds goes everywhere in car 1 in his stage 1 car seat as he isn't yet 18 kg.

Bizarrely dh has been resistant to moving ds on from things like a highchair and taking the sides off his cot bed. It's just car seats he's obsessed with.

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/10/2014 21:35

Based on height and weight

I would be furious with dh. He is risking your Childs life. Dd may want to sit in big brothers style seat but not if she isn't the right size

Weight dd but if she is little then needs a 5point car seat

If in the wrong size car seat then may as well not be in one at all

If you are in an accident she is likely to be badly hurt /neck broken or die

Blunt but true

Dixiechickonhols · 24/10/2014 21:37

Make him read about the case of Emma Hughes v estate of dayne Williams a court case from 2012. Mum Emma Hughes was found to be 25% at fault for her daughters severe injuries for choosing to put her in a seatbelt booster when underweight. Negligent. Not a bit lax but legally negligent.

RabbitSaysWoof · 24/10/2014 21:42

I would be really pissed off. YANBU.

dixiechick1975 · 24/10/2014 21:42

Sorry child was called Emma - posting from airport lounge I feel so strongly about this. Emma was 3yrs 2 months when she was severely injured.

Itsfab · 24/10/2014 21:46

JADS - if your child isn't safe to be in a HBB why use it in the second car? Accidents won't not happen because he is in a different car. It is either safe or it isn't.