To be pissed of with DH about car seats?

[HoodwinkedByStealth]

We've had an ongoing discussion about moving DD, 2.5, into a high backed booster, the type secured by a seat belt. I think she is too small, DH thinks I'm being over protective and silly.

I will admit to not knowing how much she weighs, I'm guessing around 13 kg. DH says she doesn't fit in her current seat anymore, I think she's ok in it. He says it's not fair on her because DS was in a high backed booster by this age (but he was far heavier and larger than she was at this age, certainly over the 15kg limit). She sometimes doesn't want to go in her seat and tries to get into Ds's. I think tough. She needs to be in the seat so I put her in it.

I asked him to come and collect us today after Ds's judo lesson and he did. He puts Dd in the car, unusual as he usually does DS as he's on the driver's side. I turn to look at DD on the way home and discover she is in a new car seat. He didn't ask me, has just switched it. She of course was happy in it. I feel really let down that he didn't even ask me. AIBU to think he should have asked me first, and at least checked out her size/weight?

I once witnessed a crash where a little girl went through the windscreen. She died. I didn't have dc then but I do now and I am very strict on car seats.

Both my dc (8&11) have Britax Evolvas that I had to import as I don't live in the UK. My younger dd didn't stop using the five point harness until she was five.

Dd1 (10) is desperate to stop using her booster seat, but I've checked the recommendations and she stays in it. She hates it, all of her friends are out of them but I insist she still uses hers until the seatbelt is in the correct position to be safe.

I've seen these children in their cars, they are not safe, if they crashed they would be hurt, I don't feel like I can say anything though.

Why are some people so desperate for their children to move on to the next stage when doing so could actually harm them. Bonkers.

My DS (2 years 10 months) is 91st for height and 75th for weight. He fits in the BRITAX KING PLUS that also has the inner head rest perfectly fine!!! Your DH is being an utter twat and quite frankly I am appalled at the lack of common sense when it comes to his little girl's safety.
YOU need to put your daughter first, your DH second.

I have sat her in the britax this morning. She has less than half a centimetre between her shoulders and the bottom of the inner headrest, so I think she still fits, but not sure for how long!

Not sure I understand about the they shouldn't sleep in a hbb. DS's has two positions, upright and sleep. I did suggest we swap them as DS almost never sleeps in the car anymore.

if I have to take her out in the car, I will be putting her in the old seat.

The in car safety centre at Milton Keynes is great or there's one in Essex - don't know if there are any others. Would be well worth a visit if you can get there.

There are two problems here.

One is that your husband is willing to put your child's life at risk to justify his own bloody-minded stubbornness.

The second is that he has responded to a disagreement by making threats about smashing things up and bullying you into submission.

Both are more worrying than you seem to realise - is he always like this?

Why don't you get one of the 'KIDDY' car seats with a cushion that goes across the lap, rather than a five point harness. This was the ideal solution for our houdini Dd, for whom a five point harness would have presented a challenge to rise to! It is secured with jus the adult seat belt and suitable once they've finished with the infant carrier, right up until 12 years old.

My three year old asks every day to go in his brothers booster seat. He is still ok to fit in his five point harness seat and will stay in there until he is safe to go into a booster. Lots of friends with similar ages have their children in them but I don't see the rush. He stayed in his baby seat until fifteen months and will stay in this seat until he outgrows it

DS did fit into his 0+ seat until 18 months and he's on the 50th centile, I know it must be a pain when they grow out of them early. And of course not all seats are the same size.

The manual for the King Plus here says that you can move the inner headrest. I'm assuming it's at the highest point already?

Oh Miaow sorry you said years not months

I do believe children grow out of them early but 2.5 just seems so early, especially at only 13.6kg. The idea is supposed to be that a tall, skinny child will reach the top limit at 15kg whereas a shorter, chunkier child would reach the top limit at 18kg. That's part of the reason for the overlap. But it's true most children outgrow seats by height rather than weight first.

It is definitely at the highest setting, I've rechecked it this morning. I even complained to Britax when DS grew out of it (2.2months) but then he was already heavy enough to go into the hbb. Didn't get any answer from them apart from "these are our products in the next group" type email. I always thing of Dd as being small and slight, probably because I compare her to how he was! I have to drive to the garage this morning (some warning light about the steering ) and I think I will be switching her back into the old seat for this trip. Especially as I'm alone I can't enforce the get back into your seat now if she were to try and escape. But DH is right, she is almost at the limit for it.

Thanks miaow. Grey trousers + holes + iron on owls!

It does seem like a bad design to have it so chunky. You'd think that they would either make it more adjustable, or that you could take it out completely!

That's s what I asked them, if I was missing a trick of how to take it out. But it can't be removed.

Our local council does car seat safety checks in places like supermarket car parks. I found out from the local children's centre. Could there be something like that near you to get some 'official' advice for your DH?

We have neck supports for my older dc's to use when they fall asleep in the car seats. Our high backs also have a wedge that folds out in the back so the backrest is tilted back slightly.