To want to tell the naysayers to go pound salt... (A little long, but I am hurt and need to unload)

[CallMeExhausted]

My DD is quite disabled, significantly physically and intellectually delayed and medically complex, but in light of the fact that she was referred to Hospice in February of 2012 and she is still with us now, she is a remarkable little girl.

Her 9th birthday in is less than 2 weeks, and she presented me with this paper this afternoon. Apparently, it is a list of what she might like for her birthday, in case anyone asks...

Prior to now, she has never put this many letters on a page, and I can't honestly remember her writing any letters consistently that were not one of the letters in her first name.

I shared a picture of it with close friends and family on FB (I know...) thinking that those who have seen her at death's door would like to see something that is such a huge development for her.

I received private messages from 3 separate "family" members all basically saying that I should not be excited about her writing as it is nonsense and illegible and any 3 year old should be able to do it gee, sound like they might have been discussing it? and perhaps I should stop pointing these things out as it just shows how incapable she is.

I am crushed.

This is a little girl who has overcome tremendous odds and is writing her own story, but she is obviously facing huge challenges that she will likely never overcome. She "should" not be able to speak at all, frankly, she "should" not even be with us any more. At a very dark time, I had to plan this angel's funeral.

I sent a group reply (as clearly they were all expressing the same sentiment) that as they had never taken an active interest in DD's life, they were more than welcome to take a passive disinterest, and if they wanted to be kept apprised of how she was doing, they might want to find other ways to do it... since I had no intention of making the effort with them any more.

Was I out of line (after 9 years of trying to engage them - they are "close" relations) to finally put my foot down, or should I have been less reactionary?

I tried to upload a couple of pictures, but it is not working - I will try as responses...

Well done to your DD. I bet you are over the moon.

What utterly heartless responses. You aren't being in the slightest bit unreasonable to be upset and angry with them.

Bloody people.

Sorry, I posted on the other thread, but essentially, you were not being in the slightest bit unreasonable!

Sorry for the multiple posts - it kept coming up as having failed...

Story of my life today, perhaps

What a bunch of fuckers.

Reading that she had written this made me teary, at no point did I think "Oh dont get your hopes up love!"

I cant describe how angry I am on your behalf. She sounds wonderful :)

What is on her list? I want to buy her a birthday present!

Bastards!

She sounds utterly adorable and hope she has a wonderful birthday!

Her first request was that I buy a toy for a child who doesn't have one, and then she said "if I have enough money, I will buy them one, too".

She is such a sweet child - we all can learn a lot from her.

Here's her list....

And here she is... just because

They sound utterly inconsiderate and rude. It's actually quite a spiteful thing to say.

I hope your brave DD has a wonderful birthday

That made me all sniffly. She sounds wonderful.

There is a lot of work in that! And as the mother of a three year old I can tell you that no, your average three year old couldnt do that.

Its lovely, your family are being vile and you were totally justified in what you said.

I hope you unfriended them on fb. Actually I would tag them all in a status explaining that they were no longer welcome in dd's life along with screen shots of their messages.

I hope your dd has a lovely birthday.

Yeah my 3 yo could not do that either.

Your DD sounds lovely and I would much rather spend time with her than your nobbish Facebook relatives. Block them from Facebook and disengage - life is too short to waste on people who suck out the joy.

I'd delete them, tbh. Your dd sounds amazing, beating the odds like that!

If she was my niece/grandchild I would be beaming for her!

What a bunch of absolute tossers. Do they not realise what an astounding miracle it is for your dd to be able to do this at all? Do they not realise the effort she put into it? I feel very angry on your behalf, and hers. And as for the implication that you should be hiding your dd away?!?!? That is so unbelievably insulting. Are they living in some sort of Victorian Gothic era, with a "mad" wife locked in the attic?

Your daughter's milestones may not be the average ones. And they may be coming later and rarer than in their more average children. But every one of the milestones your dd achieves are so much more special, and precious, and worthy of celebration, for that very reason.

Fuckwits.

I say niece/grandchild, but I have no idea what relations these are. I was just using those two as a example.

differentname ... Nailed it!

Well, I think that's amazing. She sounds like a wonderful little girl. I hope she has an awesome birthday.

Thank you all so very much.

The comments came from my mother, my sister, and my aunt (mother's sister).

My sister lives 30 minutes from me, and has been in my home exactly once (not for lack of me inviting her, mind you). She did not even make an effort to come see DD (or us) while she was on life support and we were making end of life plans. My mother has seen her granddaughter 2 times in her life - the first time was not until she was 15 months old. She has been literally 5m from my front door and not knocked to say hello, despite the fact that she had not seen DD in 2 years.

My aunt could not identify either of my children in a lineup.

I likely won't notice their absence.

Shit, really? I was only using them as an example & thought that it wouldn't really be anyone that close!

Family can be fuckers, can't they...op!

Your daughter really does sounds remarkable & knowing that she did this, and how hard it would have been for her...well wow!!

I came to find out of your threads with her writing and I think it is wonderful.

Massive achievement - well done doesn't really do it justice but will say it anyway x

And just well done to you to - I guarantee she wouldn't have got here without you x

well done doesn't really do it justice but will say it anyway

And just well done to you to - I guarantee she wouldn't have got here without you

Exactly!!

That's adorable OP. I'd be framing that for sure. It's actually quite pretty to look at as well, with the bright red and all :)

I too would be unfriending them btw.