To want to tell the naysayers to go pound salt... (A little long, but I am hurt and need to unload)

[CallMeExhausted]

My DD is quite disabled, significantly physically and intellectually delayed and medically complex, but in light of the fact that she was referred to Hospice in February of 2012 and she is still with us now, she is a remarkable little girl.

Her 9th birthday in is less than 2 weeks, and she presented me with this paper this afternoon. Apparently, it is a list of what she might like for her birthday, in case anyone asks...

Prior to now, she has never put this many letters on a page, and I can't honestly remember her writing any letters consistently that were not one of the letters in her first name.

I shared a picture of it with close friends and family on FB (I know...) thinking that those who have seen her at death's door would like to see something that is such a huge development for her.

I received private messages from 3 separate "family" members all basically saying that I should not be excited about her writing as it is nonsense and illegible and any 3 year old should be able to do it gee, sound like they might have been discussing it? and perhaps I should stop pointing these things out as it just shows how incapable she is.

I am crushed.

This is a little girl who has overcome tremendous odds and is writing her own story, but she is obviously facing huge challenges that she will likely never overcome. She "should" not be able to speak at all, frankly, she "should" not even be with us any more. At a very dark time, I had to plan this angel's funeral.

I sent a group reply (as clearly they were all expressing the same sentiment) that as they had never taken an active interest in DD's life, they were more than welcome to take a passive disinterest, and if they wanted to be kept apprised of how she was doing, they might want to find other ways to do it... since I had no intention of making the effort with them any more.

Was I out of line (after 9 years of trying to engage them - they are "close" relations) to finally put my foot down, or should I have been less reactionary?

I tried to upload a couple of pictures, but it is not working - I will try as responses...

I usually hope the subjects of AIBU aren't reading MN but I really hope your sister is reading this. That she can see hundreds of strangers celebrating your lovely wee girl's achievements and enjoying her gorgeous smile.

That your Mother, Sister and Aunt can't do the same speaks to an inherent lack in them.

I hope they are reading with scarlet cheeks and squirming in embarrassment.

Ahh op, I am the hardest bastard ever, I never cry, I'm horrid, but her little list was adorable and had me bawling. Bless her.
Not RTFT but fuckem fuck the lot of them. I'd probably go for public shaming, screenshots, tagging etc but then, as I said, I am a cunt

YANBU. Your DD sounds lovely and her list is fantastic. Your relatives on the other hand sound horrible and wastes of space. This is my DS4. He is 16 months old and has just started sitting on his own, albeit with a wobbly head from his hydrocephalus so we have been celebrating too. Well done to your DD, the poster's cousin who made a sandwich, the poster's DS who tried cottage pie and anyone else I've forgotten.

Your DD is absolutely gorgeous! Your 'family' don't deserve her. I hope she has a lovely birthday, and gets all the wonderful things on her list...I thought I read 'a gun' but I'm sure I'm wrong

Your DD is amazing, and your so-called family members don't deserve her. She is too good for them. I am so glad that you have decided to go NC. Sounds as if it may save you a lot of future heartache. Hope you and your true family have an awesome time celebrating DD's 9th birthday shortly .

Very rarely in life do we get the chance to see what people are really like behind the face they present to the world. Looks like you got that experience in triplicate today. I hope they also get the opportunity to see themselves as they really are although I doubt if they could face such a hideous realisation.

Your little girl is incredible, she has achieved something way beyond anything they ever could and unlike them, not only is she a beautiful girl, she is beautiful on the inside too, it shows in her photo

Well done to your dd. I'd hide those family members from seeing any updates if they are being so pathetic about it. Pm'ing you. My cousin did this with regards to something I posted. None of them see my updates now!

Your daughter is gorgeous, and her letter is fabulous. I hope she has a wonderful birthday. And that someone should kick your relatives hard, but that's not helpful.

She is beautiful. I hope she has a lovely birthday.

First time mn has made me cry- happy tears though because your beautiful daughter has the best mum she could ever wish for.

Close the door on people who don't deserve to be in your life and don't look back.

Wow, who needs enemies when you have family like that, what a disgrace they are.
I'd copy and paste their messages onto your FB status so everyone can see what shits they are.
You have a wonderful little girl to be proud of - not that you need us lot to tell you that I'm sure!!

Thank you so much for all your beautiful, supportive messages! I can't honestly say how much this means to me.

We live in Canada, and today is our Thanksgiving holiday. It is more like an autumn harvest festival, but generally a family gathering time, too.

You here have helped me realise that family is not blood, it is those who chose to stand by even when it wasn't convenient or comfortable.

DH is nursing a gut ache today and has to go to work at 3, so our Thanksgiving luncheon plans have been quashed, but that's OK. Life is good (and DD just drew a turkey she has named Charlie Twinkletoes

Here is dd 7.5 years Christmas list. As I mentioned she has ASD and dev delays but not been through the struggles your dd has. Number 2 was written with me guiding her Hand and tge bottom letters written with me guiding her hand.,

That is fantastic, Aero !

I'd like some princess playdoh too

That is a splendid turkey!

Of all the craft pieces my Brownies made, it was the little girl, who could just write her short name's butterfly I will always remember.

She tried so hard and I was so proud of her.

Your daughter is amazing, but you don't need us to tell you that - you already know!

Their loss.

Thanks so much callme I wonder what your family woukd make of that list, I dread to know

In all honesty, at this point I couldn't give a whiff, Aero

That's the way. They bring nothing to your family, what gives them the rightxc even if you were close, that's a nasty spiteful things to say and I would rip them a piece, and continue to put loads of dd writing on FB.

Cunts.

I'm so proud and happy for your beautiful little girl though

What a gorgeous girl and a real sweetheart your dd is.

Your family sound awful and I don't know what they were thinking with their horrible messages to rain on your parade. Your pride for your dd shines out in your posts and she's lucky to have a mum like you. Who needs these other negative relatives. Their loss.

going NC can be extremely emotionally freeing. it can feel like a weight has been lifted - you will no longer strive to get the people who should be happy for you to be happy any more - some people simply cannot be pleased or feel any happiness on behalf of others. my family were the same. i had a similarly dysfunctional childhood and was a similar high achiever though it was never acknowledged on any level. i also finished my teens homeless and also found a lovely man, built a life and had to lovely kids, one of whom has special needs. my mother also moved abroad without telling me. she only tried to make contact after her husband died - i have a brother who was an addict and who she finds it far easier to show any kindness and love to than me or my children/husband.

really - it took me until i was 30 to go NC and my god.....my life is so much easier now. That was 12 years ago. your family sound like emotional vampires. cut them loose and celebrate you lovely little girl - they dont deserve her or you and you dont need them - they make you feel sad and who needs that?

best of luck and your dd is beautiful.

I struggle to comprehend how people can be this nasty, never mind the fact that they are family. Your DD is a star and your 'family' do not deserve her.

Loving all the Christmas lists, although it is reminding me that it's slowly approaching and Santa is very unorganised this year

I would be quite tempted to reply "you really shouldn't post photos of yourself, people don't want to look at the personification of ignorance" (or actually probably something nastier) but I wouldn't.

I quite like to think things like that. Mentally send it to them, then smile in the knowledge that I've risen above it and retained my dignity while they have made utter dicks out of themselves.

Your daughter is wonderful I don't have Facebook but I too love to share his progress.

What a beautiful little girl! I have tears in my eyes at the thought of the way you have both been treated by your family. Utterly deplorable. They don't deserve to have her in their lives, so fuck 'em and enjoy celebrating every achievement with her. Thank you for showing us her list. You can really see the energy and enthusiasm that have gone into it and I hope Santa is extra generous this year!