To want to tell the naysayers to go pound salt... (A little long, but I am hurt and need to unload)

[CallMeExhausted]

My DD is quite disabled, significantly physically and intellectually delayed and medically complex, but in light of the fact that she was referred to Hospice in February of 2012 and she is still with us now, she is a remarkable little girl.

Her 9th birthday in is less than 2 weeks, and she presented me with this paper this afternoon. Apparently, it is a list of what she might like for her birthday, in case anyone asks...

Prior to now, she has never put this many letters on a page, and I can't honestly remember her writing any letters consistently that were not one of the letters in her first name.

I shared a picture of it with close friends and family on FB (I know...) thinking that those who have seen her at death's door would like to see something that is such a huge development for her.

I received private messages from 3 separate "family" members all basically saying that I should not be excited about her writing as it is nonsense and illegible and any 3 year old should be able to do it gee, sound like they might have been discussing it? and perhaps I should stop pointing these things out as it just shows how incapable she is.

I am crushed.

This is a little girl who has overcome tremendous odds and is writing her own story, but she is obviously facing huge challenges that she will likely never overcome. She "should" not be able to speak at all, frankly, she "should" not even be with us any more. At a very dark time, I had to plan this angel's funeral.

I sent a group reply (as clearly they were all expressing the same sentiment) that as they had never taken an active interest in DD's life, they were more than welcome to take a passive disinterest, and if they wanted to be kept apprised of how she was doing, they might want to find other ways to do it... since I had no intention of making the effort with them any more.

Was I out of line (after 9 years of trying to engage them - they are "close" relations) to finally put my foot down, or should I have been less reactionary?

I tried to upload a couple of pictures, but it is not working - I will try as responses...

Fuck em! You be proud all you bloody want!!! What do they know? How dare they judge you & your dd! All of mumsnet is proud with you xxxx

YADDDNBU. Your family are being outrageously nasty. No wonder you are proud - it's really cool that your little girl is writing for the first time and especially as she's done it under her own steam. I think it is really cool.

Do frame that beautiful letter. It's wonderful. It's done in felt tip so don't hang or display it in direct sunlight because it usually fades terribly fast. One of my favourite drawings by dd has almost vanished!

She sat and put a lot of effort into that.. I feel quite sniffily.

Your family are tossers and not worth another minute. I can see how proud you are of her and so you should be.

I am not much of a sentimental, but I think you should frame the letter, be very proud of what she achieved, what she will achieve, and cut down those miserable bastards out of your life.

And happy birthday to your trooper of a DD in advance!

What a beautiful little girl, she is an absolute sweetheart. Bless her, writing her little list. Take no notice, let them go pound salt (great phrase, I'm going to borrow it sometime)!
Hope she has a great birthday!

Happy birthday to your DD and to you, too.

What a lovely achievement, you must be so proud.

Your family are heartless. They don't deserve either you or her.

You and your daughter are heads and shoulders above them. I hope you can let them drift from your lives and never miss them; you, your husband and son and lovely daughter are worth 100 of them

As someone with a DS with special needs who has overcome the odds

Fuck them. They're idiots, you have every right to be massively proud of any tiny little bit of progress she makes.

I've fucked off my entire maternal family. Fucked them right off to fuck. They're the same as yours. We don't need negativity in our lives, neither do you.

Relative strangers (friends of DPs) ask about DS and beam with pride at any progress he makes. Family is just bloodlines, nothing more.

What everyone else has said really. Your little girl sounds amazing :) I'm just sad for you that such close family members are being so mean. That's awful, just awful. What a wonderful, strong woman you are! Happy Birthday to your daughter and I hope you all have a wonderful time. No way those people get to rain on her parade!

1). Your family are cunts
2). Your dd is gorgeous and sounds like a bloody star

Hope she has an amazing birthday and I'm so glad she is better. I can't imagine what you've been through.

I think you are right to be proud and I don't know why these relatives feel the need to rain on your parade

Your little girl is so beautiful, and her letter's terrific.
Sorry your relatives were so vile.

your DD is absolutely gorgeous. Anyone can see the effort that went into her piece of writing - could you frame it together with a photo of her?

Your relations are absolute and utter cunts.

Not only do I think your daughter's note is a great achievement for her, I think that being such a lovely, supportive, caring mother is a great achievement for you, since your own mother never showed you how. I think going NC with your toxic relatives is the right decision, your DH and your DC are your family now.

Your daughter is AWESOME!

She's a determined, clever and beautiful little girl. Your 'family' don't deserve to have anything to do with her and their lives will be poorer for it.

She has achieved a huge thing and too right you should be shouting it from the rooftops.

I hope she has a lovely birthday.

Bless her heart. That's a lovely list. She sounds a wonderful little girl. May I send her a birthday present too, please? I'll PM you.

Wow - what a stunning daughter you have, and she is amazing taking all the time and effort to write her list, of course you should be very proud and I'd say those people don't deserve to be part of your family (and did I read right that she wants a board game? Certainly not illegible to me)

What a bunch of miserable, sad, backwards, c*nts. (I never use that word!).

My DS7 couldnt do that at 3. He might have done that well this time last year, he is only marginally better this year.

What an amazing little girl! I truly hope she has a fantastic birthday and gets everything on her (beautifully written) list x

How anyone could react negatively to seeing that list is beyond me, it is adorable, and I'm so sorry you have such people in your life who are not able to appreciate your daughter's achievements.

She is beautiful and you sound like a lovely mother. She has you to fight her corner, forget everyone else, salt-pounding's too good for them.

Here's wishing littlecallme a lovely birthday

Fucking hell. I don't use the word lightly but those people in your family are complete and utter cunts aren't they.

MN rarely makes me cry but I am so sad that you have been treated like this, that your gorgeous, kind little miracle DD is not being celebrated by those who should be shouting with glee that she has achieved so much.

Absolute bastards. They don't deserve you or your wonderful family. I am very glad you are going NC.

Your relatives are a gang of sad, broken, fucked-up arseholes. Block them from your FB. They do not deserve to be in touch with you or your beautiful, brave, amazing daughter (who clearly takes after her mother in every single way that matters).

Your daughter is gorgeous. i hope she gets every single thing she wants for her birthday, and forever.

YANBU. Your DD sounds lovely and her list is fantastic. Your relatives on the other hand sound horrible and wastes of space. This is my DS4. He is 16 months old and has just started sitting on his own, albeit with a wobbly head from his hydrocephalus so we have been celebrating too. Well done to your DD, the poster's cousin who made a sandwich, the poster's DS who tried cottage pie and anyone else I've forgotten.

Everything I feel has been said.

What a lovely daughter you have I wish my son 16 could do what she has achieved.

Pass this on to your "relatives"

Every child however disabled has a beauty spot and it is up to people to find it if they can't it is their loss not the child's

Take care and enjoy your daughter