To want to tell the naysayers to go pound salt... (A little long, but I am hurt and need to unload)

[CallMeExhausted]

My DD is quite disabled, significantly physically and intellectually delayed and medically complex, but in light of the fact that she was referred to Hospice in February of 2012 and she is still with us now, she is a remarkable little girl.

Her 9th birthday in is less than 2 weeks, and she presented me with this paper this afternoon. Apparently, it is a list of what she might like for her birthday, in case anyone asks...

Prior to now, she has never put this many letters on a page, and I can't honestly remember her writing any letters consistently that were not one of the letters in her first name.

I shared a picture of it with close friends and family on FB (I know...) thinking that those who have seen her at death's door would like to see something that is such a huge development for her.

I received private messages from 3 separate "family" members all basically saying that I should not be excited about her writing as it is nonsense and illegible and any 3 year old should be able to do it gee, sound like they might have been discussing it? and perhaps I should stop pointing these things out as it just shows how incapable she is.

I am crushed.

This is a little girl who has overcome tremendous odds and is writing her own story, but she is obviously facing huge challenges that she will likely never overcome. She "should" not be able to speak at all, frankly, she "should" not even be with us any more. At a very dark time, I had to plan this angel's funeral.

I sent a group reply (as clearly they were all expressing the same sentiment) that as they had never taken an active interest in DD's life, they were more than welcome to take a passive disinterest, and if they wanted to be kept apprised of how she was doing, they might want to find other ways to do it... since I had no intention of making the effort with them any more.

Was I out of line (after 9 years of trying to engage them - they are "close" relations) to finally put my foot down, or should I have been less reactionary?

I tried to upload a couple of pictures, but it is not working - I will try as responses...

That is the most beautiful birthday list. And what a kind and selfless idea to buy a present for someone else. You should be very very proud.

How bloody dare anyone think it's not good enough?

Your mum, aunt and sister are a bunch of cunts who can get fucked, frankly. My nephew has some speech issues, I was thrilled to hear him pronounce a word starting with L properly. I can only imagine how much more thrilled I would be to have a niece do something so amazing after all the battles your lovely girl has fought. These dickheads don't deserve to be in her life.

For me there'd be no coming back from what they've done here. There must reach a point where you'd say 'NO MORE'. If I were you, this would be that point for me. These people bring less than nothing to your life and double less than that to the life of your wonderful daughter.
Ditch from FB and go N/C in real life. How could it be any worse than what you have now with them?
You do sound absolutely amazing

It's hard to hear strangers telling you your family are horrible. But OMG really! They surely cannot think what they sent u was reasonable. I suggest their total detachment from u and your children means they have no appreciation for what a massive achievement this is.

My own son has special needs and when he said his own name at a family party recently that overshadowed the actual reason for the party!

I'm so chuffed for u and ur daughter I am sure ur heart is swollen with pride.
I see u love and appreciate ur daughter so much she doesn't need those negative people in her life (self righteous buggers)

Big hugs to u and ur wee woman. Hope she has a fab birthday xxxxx

I am in tears reading this. What a remarkable little girl you have. Congratulations on raising such an asset to the human race.

Commiserations on having a bunch of cunts for a family. I would do what a PP said in your shoes: screenshot their replies and post what they said to your status - and watch their cuntishness go viral.

Words fail me. I can't believe how nasty people can be. Your daughter sounds a wonderful girl and you are obviously a wonderful Mum. Hope she has a lovely birthday and gets all the things she wishes for. You are right to be very proud of her. Hugs to you both.

What a wonderful daughter you have, she sounds amazing, as do you (and my 3 year old couldn't have produced that list) .
Your relatives don't deserve to know anything about her or have her in their miserable little lives.
I'm sorry you've had to deal with their nastiness, i don't think i would have been so restrained.
I hope your daughter has a wonderful birthday and that all her wishes come true.

How awful that these miserable relatives can't cherish your daughters achievements like they should. It's their loss.

What utter bastards. You sound lovely and very patient with your relatives. Your daughter sounds amazing.

Just don't bother with them again.

Your daughter sounds amazing and she obviously has a wonderful mother!

What a wonderful daughter you have, and you must have been chuffed to bits with her list. I hope she enjoys many more birthdays.

Forget them and enjoy your lovely daughter. The writing is wonderful!

I would have gone Fing mental if they'd said that to me.We have 5DC and our youngest DD7 is disabled and has a lot to deal with health wise bless her and myself,DH and our 4 older DC are always over the moon when she manages to do anything we never thought she would be able to.

Not all of the rest of the family get it,but the one's that do are the one's that worship the ground she walks on(just like we do) and they're the only one's that matter.We've honestly found we have more friends than family that get it and adore are little girl and share in everything new that she manages to do and get just as over excited as the rest of us do in our house.

That's the kind of people you need in yours and your daughters life's.The one's that cheer and cry tears of joy for you all when things are going well.

Oh my goodness what awful people. You've every right to be proud of your daughter! Sounds like you handled it well, I don't think I'd have been half as polite.

It never ceases to amaze me what fantastic mums some women are, and what amazing kids they raise, when their own mothers are absolute poison. Well done OP, on all fronts, and a big well done to your DD too.

Would she like a whole bevy of surrogate MN aunties? Sounds like she wouldn't go short!

congratulations on the writing. it is fantastic to make such a step.

severe commiserations on being related to such awful relatives. what they said isincredibly rude and hurtful . does your lovely daughter have relatives on your dh's side?

My god what a bunch of wankers they are! Your dd has overcome so much, every day faces challenges and difficulties, you cannot compare with NT children. You did tge right thing, I would have been less restrained, they would have gotten the full measure of me. I would delete them from Facebook, tbh you don't need people like that in your lives. I would have pointed all that you have said on here to them.

Btw that's a lovely list

As they contribute nothing to your wonderful dd life, I would go NC with the lot of them, what nasty spiteful individuals. wishing your lovely dd a very happy birthday, I hope she has many many more. If it's any comfort my dd 7.5 years who has ASD and dev delays writing is similar, she hasent had the struggles your dd has had to face.

That list must have taken so much effort and concentration from your DD. No wonder you are proud of her, she sounds amazing! I am sorry your family are not supportive, they are missing out on interacting with a great little girl and their attitude stinks and is incredibly hurtful.

Head up, Call me Exhausted' you and your DD are much better people than them, they should be ashamed of themselves.

my dyspraxic 8yo can't even write a list like that, and he can walk, talk, read....etc. if he presented me with a written list like that i think i'd cry and be sharing it everywhere too!

every child with SN is an individual and when they do something that is beyond their day to day abilities, it should be celebrated 100% every time.

Don't you dare feel back for telling them where to get off.

your daughter is great, it's a shame your relatives are twats.

I'd be proud and showing it off too.

I agree - screen shots tagged for all their friends, then delete them from your friends lists
(and I'd do it at 4am so you could get it all done in one go without them seeing until it's too late)

Your daughter - well, she is remarkable and utterly wonderful

The naysayers, well they ought to fuck off, really

I am sorry they have conspired to bring you down, to puncture your bubble

You mum, your sister and your aunt should be proper ashamed

Well done to your DD - look at the effort, all the carefully formed letters, she's obviously worked so hard on it.

I've never met any 3 year old who could have written that. (Higher achieving four year olds, yes, but I'd go as far as to say that anyone who says it looks like a random 3 year old wrote it is talking bullshit. A very few 3 year olds can produce something which is identifiable as their own name.)