To want to tell the naysayers to go pound salt... (A little long, but I am hurt and need to unload)

[CallMeExhausted]

My DD is quite disabled, significantly physically and intellectually delayed and medically complex, but in light of the fact that she was referred to Hospice in February of 2012 and she is still with us now, she is a remarkable little girl.

Her 9th birthday in is less than 2 weeks, and she presented me with this paper this afternoon. Apparently, it is a list of what she might like for her birthday, in case anyone asks...

Prior to now, she has never put this many letters on a page, and I can't honestly remember her writing any letters consistently that were not one of the letters in her first name.

I shared a picture of it with close friends and family on FB (I know...) thinking that those who have seen her at death's door would like to see something that is such a huge development for her.

I received private messages from 3 separate "family" members all basically saying that I should not be excited about her writing as it is nonsense and illegible and any 3 year old should be able to do it gee, sound like they might have been discussing it? and perhaps I should stop pointing these things out as it just shows how incapable she is.

I am crushed.

This is a little girl who has overcome tremendous odds and is writing her own story, but she is obviously facing huge challenges that she will likely never overcome. She "should" not be able to speak at all, frankly, she "should" not even be with us any more. At a very dark time, I had to plan this angel's funeral.

I sent a group reply (as clearly they were all expressing the same sentiment) that as they had never taken an active interest in DD's life, they were more than welcome to take a passive disinterest, and if they wanted to be kept apprised of how she was doing, they might want to find other ways to do it... since I had no intention of making the effort with them any more.

Was I out of line (after 9 years of trying to engage them - they are "close" relations) to finally put my foot down, or should I have been less reactionary?

I tried to upload a couple of pictures, but it is not working - I will try as responses...

Just caught up with this, CONGRATS to your DS on his driving test! Mine still gives me nightmares, years later!

I don't believe in angels... But I do believe there are a few very special people who are placed in our lives to gently help us all be better people through their quiet determination and gentleness. I think your daughter may be such a person.
She wouldn't be here without your love and support. Your family could learn a great deal from her. What a bunch of unfeeling nasty bastards.

How wonderful that's she's come this far. Her letter is absolutely lovely; you must be really proud.

Do you know, I haven't felt so angry for ages! How can people (and family at that!!!) be so bloody nasty and cruel? Whatever are they thinking? They are all totally horrid, and if I were you I'd have no more to do with them.

Best wishes for you and your little girl, bless her.

Very good callme

Late to this, but wanted to share your joy and pride! Well Done your DD!

My DS, is now 23, CP and on the spectrum. Only able to use right hand, and poor fine finger manipulation. When he was about 10 or so we were at his school open day (wonderful sen school). He had always needed help with eating/drinking. In canteen, got him juice in special cup, and he picked it up and drank from it!

Astonished, amazed, ecstatic! Was as if we had gone to school to hear our child playing piano, and hadn't even known they were having lessons!

My much loved and missed, late DM, late DMIL, sister and I were so happy, as were all our family.

Ignore the negativity and focus on the achievement.

Thank you for your story MsPavlichenko - it brought a great big smile to my face.

Aw lord have read the whole thread and appear to have something in my eye...cough, ahem...sniff...OP you are an awesome ass-kicking, pancreas-costume-making, brave and bold mother to a gorgeous little girl and a huge giant of a teen - all the very best to you and as for your 'family' FUCK THEM. Your life without them will be so, so much better without them taking up any of your headspace or sucking the joy out of dd's achievements xx

back I fear that there may be something irritating in the air - I have been caught with runny eyes/drippy nose several times while reading the awesome responses here.

But remember, AIBU is a "nest of vipers" - one should never post something sensitive here for fear of being disassembled piece by piece.

Thanks for being awesome, amazing vipers - the lot of you.