'Friend' and £10!

[LadyofDunedin]

First post AIBU! Be nice, please!

So two weeks ago I travelled to a nearby town with who I thought a friend. We went for a lovely day out shopping, lunching, afternoon drinks and dinner.

We were having a lovely day and proceeded to a wine bar in the afternoon. When the check came I paid on my cars and we said we would sort later etc - it really wasn't a big deal. Although I should add she wasn't forthcoming to pay!

Anyway , evening dinner came and went and check came again. She told me to put less in as I got the wine in the avo - fair enough. She did the math and I put my share in. I did question if I paid enough once the waiter had left the table and she said 'oh actually, you still owe me a tenner'. I said I would square up next I saw her (I had no cash on me). I didn't think it a big deal and it was her bad math!

Anyway , she was slightly weird after but I had forgotten about it and a little squiffy in honesty until on the Monday at work I had a huge text with her sort code and account number asking I transfer the £10 ASAP! Omg !

I called DM in horror (after immediately transferring the money - I was mortified- she obv went away thinking all about this and probably bitching me to her husband) and DM reminded me only last month after her HUGE birthday party I stayed behind for 3 hours to help her and husband with all the dishes and tidying up while her parents watched!

So, AIBU to be pissed off? DM reckons I'll never hear again, and even if I do I should ignore?

Do you owe her the money? She may be overdrawn as a result of being £10 short.

Did she agree to pay you for the time spent cleaning up? Did she owe you money for that? What does you helping her after her party got to do with the money you owe her??

YABU and your reaction is completely over the top.

You and your DM are as dramatic as each other...you owe her money...why shouldn't she ask for it and more to the point why didn't you ask for her details to send it over ASAP....lending someone £10 and not getting it back immediately could really leave me up shit creek

You helped tidy up after the party. That was kind, but you still owe her a tenner. Calling your DM in 'horror' and being 'mortified' is a a slight over reaction IMO.

YABU, you owed her money.

What is a huge text!?

You owed her £10 - she asked for it. Unless the text was unnecessarily rude, YABU.

'OMG' is OTT. My friend and I frequently lend each other money at work or out - £5 for lunch if one of us has forgotten our debit card, if one of us is going to a shop and we ask the other one to grab £10 cash back and i'll pay it back by bank transfer etc.

We're both used to sending/receiving texts with s/c and a/c number saying 'Don't forget that £30 I withdrew for you yesterday' type messages. It's no big deal.

I also don't think you staying to do the dishes is at all relevant. You did a nice thing - well done. I'd do the same for my friend. It doesn't mean I won't pay her back money I've borrowed because I 'earned' it.

Oh dear! I think her reaction of the sort code and account number was over the top - could she not have called?

I was mortified / embarrassed that I owed her and she felt she had to go to these lengths for it. Hence I transferred immediately

Re the party, no , she didn't pay for my time I offered and didn't get as much as a thanks. I didn't do it to get a thanks, I helped as I wanted.

I guess I must be alone in feeling awkward about how she acted over £10...

Yabu. You owe her £10 so pay it back and apologise for it taking so long.

She sounds annoying. In this sort of situation, I would call a friend, and very gently remind them they owed me money.

Why is giving a sort code and account number over the top?

If I paid for a meal and my friend said she'd pay my half back - i'd never expect to have to take back cash. Cash is a major PITA. I'd just send my s/c and a/c number, it's so much easier - she doesn't have to withdraw money, I don't have to deposit it - win all round.

taking so long ? Is this a joke! I did immediately by transfer! Jesus !

Yabu - I hate it when people give me cash so always ask for people to transfer and give my sort code and account number. The horror.

Ok maybe I haven't made myself clear. I paid for the wine in the afternoon as she wasn't exactly forthcoming - I didn't mind.

Evening dinner I said to split it 50/59 she was the one who said put less in and I said ok how much, she was the one who told me how much to put in.. I was the one who said immediately after hey I don't think that's enough it's not like I orchestrated this to save paying a tenner !!

50/50!

OP, do you have a brown paper bag handy? I suggest you breath deeply into it, to avoid hyperventilating.

LadyofDunedin - maybe she felt awkward about ringing and asking for the money, and sent the text because that was easier for her.

I think the help you gave after the party is irrelevant, unless she said she would pay you for doing the clearing up.

I think it was over the top
Unless she was totally skint, and then I would expect her to remind you in person, the she could have just waited until you met again

Oh god. Do I need to get angry with DFather who said if I picked up an item he wanted I was to send him my a/c and sort code and he'd transfer me the money?

What a flipping over reaction. You said you'd give her the tenner, she texted you her sort code and account number.

And I don't get what you and your mother were at with the bitchfest. If you hadn't wanted to help your friend tidy up, why did you stay?

I think it was unreasonable as I said I would square up when I saw her next - the sort code and account seemed excessive given the amount, and felt a little like she didn't trust me.

I find the whole thing embarrassing, but apparently I'm completely in the wrong! I wasn't brought up to be quite so petulant over these things.

You owed her £10...it's pretty clear tbh. It doesn't really matter how it came about - she wnbu to ask you for it back.

What did the text say that was so awful? If it was 'Look here you robbing cunt, pay me my tenner back to xxxxx or there'll be trouble' then i'll happily say YANBU.

I suspect it didn't though?

Thank you wantingto

Maybe she's skint and maybe that tenner means a direct debit won't bounce?

Maybe she just thought it'd be easier for you to do an online transfer than have to go and get a tenner out of the bank and remember to bring it next time you saw her, given that you don't seem to "do" cash?

Here we go...

OP : AIBU?

MN : Yes, YABU.

OP : But I'm not!

I don't want to post the text here incase I out myself. Safe to say it was large and said she hasn't been able to stop thinking about how I owe her that £10 etc etc and that she would appreciate if I transferred on receipt of the text the money to her sort and account number. If that didn't work she would post me a bank pay in slip - yes, really

Yesterday I was off work and d friend put my £2.00 in for our Euromillions syndicate - I bill paymented it to her last night on my online banking!

It's hardly a chore, really.