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AIBU?

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Original poster

Being told to use self service till by customer in front of me

213 replies

Sazzle41 · 10/10/2014 13:00

I was just in my local mini Tesco at the till manned by member of staff and the customer in front of me - half my age, male, mid 20's, nose ring turned round, pointed at the self service tills & said, "they are free".

WTAF? I was queueing at the manned till to get the Gin behind the counter. (Well its Friday!). Even if i didnt want what was behind the counters, why is it of any consequence to him where the person BEHIND queues? I am afraid he got "I'm fine here" and my death stare. Then, his mate chips in: "He's trying to help". Help? Why do i need 'help'? Is queueing far to difficult for a middle aged woman? Dont know why i am so hacked off to be honest but this really grated... we dont all like self service either, some of us prefer human contact. It felt like 'lets tell the dumb blonde /little woman what to do" to be frank. Grrr...

OP posts:
BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 11/10/2014 21:53

Bizarrely, I was in our local Tesco Humungous the other night, and there was a queue a mile long for the self check.... but about half a dozen manned tills with no queue at all.
I was sorely tempted to point this out to the bored-looking young professionals in said queue, but couldn't be arsed.

MiddletonPink · 11/10/2014 21:58

Nothing to do with this being a man.

Pepperwitheverything · 11/10/2014 21:59

Sir Chenjin...please stop putting words in my mouth jeesh!! What is it with people? You could be right or maybe I could be right. Same with you Fizz. We don't know.

Anyway...you happen to think it was right he said what he did, I think it was rude and entitled. Each to our own, ok?

MiddletonPink · 11/10/2014 22:00

It's not for anybody to be pointing anything out though is it?

People queue where they choose to.

SirChenjin · 11/10/2014 22:02

You mean you didn't use the words "obnoxious, arrogant and presumptuous", and link them specifically to "a man"?

AskBasil · 11/10/2014 22:05

Oh, I got the impression that the OP found him aggressive and unpleasant because he was aggressive and unpleasant, not because he had a penis.

I can't find where the OP said it was his penis that caused the problem. I read that it was his aggressive attitude.

HavanaSlife · 11/10/2014 22:10

Why the fuck did it matter to him? I wouldnt turn round and tell the person behind me the self service is free, id assume theyd be using them if they wanted to

fizzymittens · 11/10/2014 22:11

Middleton your comment it's not for anybody to be pointing anything out though is it? says a lot about how you view the world and it's a shame.

Maybe your lack of grace will come back to bite you on the arse as you walk back from a trip to the loos one day with your skirt tucked in your knickers and those around you think well, it's not for us to point it out is it? Grin

fizzymittens · 11/10/2014 22:13

Pepper was obsessed with the penis thing. The OP was more focused on his nose ring.

MiddletonPink · 11/10/2014 22:14

My comment was to boulevard fizzy calm.down dear.

Silverdaisy · 11/10/2014 22:17

Why on earth was he that bothered to comment on the person behind him? Unless you were a foot behind him, but your basket was hitting in the back Smile

fizzymittens · 11/10/2014 22:22

Yes I got that Middleton and my comment was to you. See how this discussion forum thing works?

Pepperwitheverything · 11/10/2014 22:24

Sir...wow, this is pathetic. Is he or he not a man? Read the OP and come back and tell me.

Pepperwitheverything · 11/10/2014 22:27

Fizz you can address me, you know...please stop being so passive aggressive, talking about me rather than to me. You are so passive aggressive!

fizzymittens · 11/10/2014 22:37

Gosh Pepper I was commenting on your man-angry posts to SirChenjin and I am not sure how that can be construed as passive aggressive.

Is passive aggression something that you are super sensitive to? You have posted about it quite a bit on here. Grin

SirChenjin · 11/10/2014 22:38

Pepper - you've made some spurious claims about his reaction being the result of him being a man and how women have to wake up to this sort of rubbish from men, and in the process you've made a bit of a tit of yourself. No need for all the posturing - I'm sure you didn't mean it to sound as silly as it did.

Pepperwitheverything · 11/10/2014 22:46

Fizzy...see Sir Chen's latest post for more passive aggression. Can people just not post what they want to post without being all cowardly about it? Look, the fact is, this was a MAN who intimidated the. OP. That much we know...we also know from sites such as EverydaySexism that this happens far too often.

Now I may be WAY off base in linking the two but I, in MY opinion, don't think so. I also know that women can be pretty rotten and there are some very nice men out there. But this particular episode just strikes me as a man yet again telling a woman to do something he is NOT doing himself.

You don't concur...that is fine. I don't care. :)

fizzymittens · 11/10/2014 23:03

I think that you care a great deal that most people do not see this event in the same way as you and I also think that you see 'passive aggression' from people where there is none.

But as you say, it's fine. This is only an internet forum after all.

ouryve · 11/10/2014 23:14

I'd have taken none of it, Sazzle. You were just stood there, minding your own business and he harassed you about your choice of checkout.

The yoof with nose rings, today, are just so sure of themselves, aren't they? Hmm

Get a grip.

SirChenjin · 11/10/2014 23:33

You appear to have misconstrued things yet again Pepper, seeing passive aggression where there isn't any.

vodkanchocolate · 11/10/2014 23:43

This to me is no big deal at all. Poor lad he was probilly just been helpful maybe he was been a busy body but who knows. Does it matter you never have to see him or his nose ring again (you hope anyway)!!! Just smile and politely say you are happy to wait thats all I would of done. Wouldnt of given it a second thought once been served, dont think it would of warranted a rant on an internet forum.

Hope you enjoyed your gin :)

BerylStreep · 11/10/2014 23:50

What an odd turn this thread has taken. The only reason I can see that someone in front of the queue might say something to someone behind them, is that the person behind is standing too close / tutting / sighing / otherwise appearing in a hurry OR he is a genuinely helpful chap who feels bad that the person behind only has one item, and is being helpful in pointing out the self serve tills.

OP has said clearly that she didn't perceive his comments as being helpful (despite the friend saying so), which would suggest she maybe was coming across as being a bit impatient, rightly or wrongly.

Either way, I still can't fathom how it warrants a death stare.

vivideye · 11/10/2014 23:56

I'm with the op. What she describes was a put down. If he'd been trying to help then it would have come across that way and you wouldn't have got upset in the first place. He was lucky he only got a death stare.

GatoradeMeBitch · 12/10/2014 00:32

If the self-service till was free he should have fucked off over to it himself!

Momagain1 · 12/10/2014 01:33

Likewise, sometimes if I am in the queue and a self-scan opens up, the person in front of me doesn't always make a move, so I have to either stand there awkwardly or ask politely if they want to use it, so I don't look like I am queue-jumping.

???they are two different queus. If that one empties out, you can change your mind. So could the person in front, but you arent obligated to wait and see. How do you figure out priority between you, the person in front of you, and anyone else waiting at a manned till?

I agree the employy and customer were being helpful, the employee may HAVE to point the self service tills out, and the other guy was joining in out of manners, or something.