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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being told to use self service till by customer in front of me

213 replies

Sazzle41 · 10/10/2014 13:00

I was just in my local mini Tesco at the till manned by member of staff and the customer in front of me - half my age, male, mid 20's, nose ring turned round, pointed at the self service tills & said, "they are free".

WTAF? I was queueing at the manned till to get the Gin behind the counter. (Well its Friday!). Even if i didnt want what was behind the counters, why is it of any consequence to him where the person BEHIND queues? I am afraid he got "I'm fine here" and my death stare. Then, his mate chips in: "He's trying to help". Help? Why do i need 'help'? Is queueing far to difficult for a middle aged woman? Dont know why i am so hacked off to be honest but this really grated... we dont all like self service either, some of us prefer human contact. It felt like 'lets tell the dumb blonde /little woman what to do" to be frank. Grrr...

OP posts:
dimsum123 · 10/10/2014 13:23

YANBU. You didnt ask for help. He should have kept his mouth shut or gone to the self service till himself.

Original poster
Sazzle41 · 10/10/2014 13:24

I should have said, he didnt smile or say it in a light manner it was a long unsmiling stare after he turned round , before he spoke & no smile. It came over to me as aggressive. If he'd smiled i'd have been totally fine. The stare pissed me off, it was a very long look up & down , eye contact that long and unsmiling un nerves me). I dunno why i mentioned his age or nose ring either, trying to give context I suppose. It was the way it was said, kind of as tho i shouldnt be where i was/I was somehow in his space, not oh look you you could use those ... I really am not averse to people being nice and i like chatting to the staff in there too. I go in most days for my paper.

OP posts:
RiverTam · 10/10/2014 13:25

good heavens, what a total over-reaction. You do realise he was probably queuing for some cigarettes and pointed it out to you so that you wouldn't have to wait behind him.

He (and what the actual fuck has his appearance or age got to do with anything??) sounds lovely. You sound like a twat, and that's me being polite.

morethanpotatoprints · 10/10/2014 13:25

Oh dear, it sounds like something about your age and gender is bothering you.
I also think the guy was only trying to be helpful.
I don't like self service neither and probably would have replied I wanted something from the counter or I didn't like those things.
He may have felt guilty that you had to queue behind him.

RiverTam · 10/10/2014 13:26

well, what a tiresome little dripfeed that was, OP.

Thumbwitch · 10/10/2014 13:26

I do love a good xpost. Grin

I think I too would have suggested he go and use the free self-service tills then - but he sounds a bit odd. Perhaps he thought you were breathing too loud or something?

WorraLiberty · 10/10/2014 13:26

So he wasn't grinning like an idiot?

You were still unreasonable imo

MagnificentMaleficent · 10/10/2014 13:27

So all those saying yabu. Do you think he would have said the same to a 40 year old man?

I can see why you're irritated op

Gruntfuttock · 10/10/2014 13:28

Were you tutting or sighing or doing something that gave him the impression you were in a hurry, OP?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 10/10/2014 13:28

YABU he sounded helpful not bossy.

dreamingofsun · 10/10/2014 13:28

food shopping makes me grumpy too. so mr OAP, who didn't look where you were walking, don't blame me if your foot hurts cause you walked into my staionnery trolley. And now i have to go again cause i lost the will to live yesterday with all the oap's in the county out killing time

dimsum123 · 10/10/2014 13:28

But why didn't he just go to the self serve himself instead of virtually ordering the OP to go and use it? He's the rude one not the OP.

LadyLuck10 · 10/10/2014 13:29

You sound unhinged tbh. You made a whole lot of assumptions. Fgs it happened, get over it. It's Friday no need to get wound up.

CedricBloomer · 10/10/2014 13:29

"Get fucked" is always the correct response, for future refernce.

MaidOfStars · 10/10/2014 13:30

Maybe he needed something from the counter too?

CedricBloomer · 10/10/2014 13:30

"And now i have to go again cause i lost the will to live yesterday with all the oap's in the county out killing time"

Oh, dear...

HolyQuadrityDrinkFeckArseGirls · 10/10/2014 13:32

Sorry OPGrin but you are so UR! And I say that as a right grumpy sod.

He was just pointing out that they're good to use and he's not using them not because they're broken.

3nonblondeboys80 · 10/10/2014 13:35

yabu. He was only trying to help.

Gruntfuttock · 10/10/2014 13:36

CedricBloomer ""Get fucked" is always the correct response, for future reference."

Really? Hmm

3nonblondeboys80 · 10/10/2014 13:37

cross post.

TheWitTank · 10/10/2014 13:37

Totally agree Maid...you can't fucking win these days. You get bitched off if you don't help, bitched off if you do. Why are you reading so much into a trivial 10 second interaction OP? Why do you need to "death stare" at a meaningless comment. It meant nothing at all. Nothing. He wasn't implying you were old or stupid or annoying. He pointed out a till.

Original poster
Sazzle41 · 10/10/2014 13:39

More context: I wasnt standing close i was behind him a foot away. That branch has two aisles separated by shelving to queue in - ie. one for self service and one for the manned till. So if i am in the queue for self service which is totally separate its kind of obvious i prefer that - to me. It was the staring - long unblinking eye contact & no smile. I'd actuallylooked away embarrassed before he spoke. But I accept i might have been snappy. A smile would have made me react totally differently. I've had a very bad (physical assault) experience after reacting in friendly way when a younger male stranger initiated contact 12 months ago, so yes, maybe i over reacted. And i still feel wary around men that age. (maybe why i mentioned his age). Time to chill, thank you to all for comments. I'm obviously not as over my bad experience as I thought.

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 10/10/2014 13:39

I guess he was trying to be helpful, not tell you that you must use the self service till or else.

jezzapaxmanslovechild · 10/10/2014 13:39

I d crack open that gin you just bought Wink

Vitalstatistix · 10/10/2014 13:40

I don't think you are being unreasonable, or bonkers or anything, OP. I think that people can generally tell friendly from unfriendly and if you genuinely felt he was glaring at you and him telling you about the tills was less 'let me save you two minutes, dear lady' and more 'piss off over there' then I'm not going to tell you you're wrong because you were there and I wasn't.

But you haven't answered my question about whether you were up his arse or unloading into his space Grin