Being told to use self service till by customer in front of me

[Sazzle41]

I was just in my local mini Tesco at the till manned by member of staff and the customer in front of me - half my age, male, mid 20's, nose ring turned round, pointed at the self service tills & said, "they are free".

WTAF? I was queueing at the manned till to get the Gin behind the counter. (Well its Friday!). Even if i didnt want what was behind the counters, why is it of any consequence to him where the person BEHIND queues? I am afraid he got "I'm fine here" and my death stare. Then, his mate chips in: "He's trying to help". Help? Why do i need 'help'? Is queueing far to difficult for a middle aged woman? Dont know why i am so hacked off to be honest but this really grated... we dont all like self service either, some of us prefer human contact. It felt like 'lets tell the dumb blonde /little woman what to do" to be frank. Grrr...

Marmite, you mis-read, the lad was in front of the OP. So she wasn't in his way at all.

I can't be bothered with people offering unsolicited "help"

On the train last week, I reminded man who was about to get off that he'd put shopping bags onto the overhead shelf.

A couple of weeks ago, again on the train, I asked the elderly lady opposite me if she wanted me to help get her ginormous suitcase onto the platform.

All those buggies I've offered to lift upstairs. The odd shopping bag I've packed in a supermarket. I once helped a blind man to cross the road.

Have I been going through life in a blissful haze of goodwill towards my fellow human beings when all they are thinking is "Get fucked"?

Hi Worra/Showy, more drip feeding since you asked ! No he didnt but i snarled, picked up a baguette battered him to a pulp anyway! To be fair my friends tell me my death stare is 'hysterical & about as scary as a chihuahua'.

I know when someone is being nice or being odd/bossy. A long, unsmiling, unblinking stare & comment ( again, with no smile),
is odd/bossy. If a foot is 'too close' Staywithme, noted , will stand further away in future.

To whoever asked if i was frowning or tutting, no, just eyeing up the maltesers (& gin) as per. Oh & my 39 yr old Sis & Cousin hve nose rings, it suits them, I on the other hand would look beyond stupid with one. I dont hate nose rings.

There are things to get annoyed about in life. And this really isn't one OP.
Enjoy your gin

Sazzle
I know you've had a bad experience, but just from another point of view, ds has piercings and his hair changes colour with the wind. He has AS and Tourettes. If he were trying to be helpful in a shop he wouldn't smile, and it would take him a minute as he would be trying to ensure his face didn't tic (it can look like a sneer and he is very aware) and that he didn't have a body twitch, so that he didn't accidently hit you. He would also have someone with him as he needs an escort, not because he is violent, but because his tics can be so bad he can (and has) fall and hurt himself.
Just an alternative point of view, not a telling off.
I hope you feel better soon, it's very hard to get over somethings and they often come back and bite you on the arse when you're least expecting it.

fallen. Apologies.

but he was trying to help.

Sounds like you need a large measure of that gin.

oh good grief. some things Brain really not engaged today. The other 'correction' was wrong, too!

Sazzle I really need that gin!

This happened to me once.

I said "it's OK, I need to buy something from the kiosk."

The person nodded and we both continued with our lives.

The end.

I feel compelled to comment because my boyfriend does this (not nose-ringed so this wasn't him though!).

Basically he likes to point out 'helpful' information to complete random strangers. Unfortunately, he hasn't quite grasped that when talking to people you don't know its usually good to couch things gently or accompany them with a smile (I probably go too far the other way, but I hate people thinking I'm rude).

Basically if a stranger was getting off a bus leaving something behind I would say : 'Sorry, but is that your bag? wouldn't want you leaving it behind!' smile.

He would say 'You left your bag' hard stare.

Once he tried to warn a lady walking her dog about a potential danger but did it in such a way that I'm sure she thought he was demanding she walk a certain route(!).

I've tried talking with him about it, but he just insists he's being 'helpful' and 'to the point'. He's a bit socially clueless. I suspect that's what happened here, especially as the friend felt the need to explain his behaviour. (I can totally imaging myself having to try to explain that my boyfriend was 'just trying to be helpful').

I think you need to get on the gin asap, OP.

God, don't come to glasgow. The capital of unsolicited advice by strangers!

He was being rude

I'd have said to him if I thought he was being rude or pointed "I want gin"

I would have said, "I'm fine here, thanks," with a smile. I'm not convinced he was being rude, but even if he was, it doesn't mean I have to be. I wouldn't have given the interaction another thought after that.

OH NOES!! SOMEONE WAS HELPFULL (BUT NOT SMILING) TO MYSELVES IN THE SUPERMARKET!!!

MN never fails to surprise me that people get really annoyed/offended/enraged/upset (thinking of many, many threads here and not necessarily referring to OP) about events or interactions that are really inconsequential.

People must be exhausted by all the pointless thoughts and emotion!.

What a bastard. It's the ones with he nose rings you have to watch out for.

Wow, Mackerel. That sounds an ordeal!

You know, you can always start a thread on Mumsnet if this sort of alarming thing should ever happen to you, again.

Oh give over you lot.

We all have bad moods, overreact, act out of character.

DON'T WE.

I would probably have smiled and said 'I'm after some gin!'. No need for the death stare. Also no need for his mate to chip in though.

Bloody hell. Poor lad.

Jaysus, the nose-ringed youth of today.

Some people can't do right for doing wrong!

Think you've overreacted a smidge.

Eh, so he's socially awkward. I wouldn't have given it too much thought.

But the It felt like 'lets tell the dumb blonde /little woman what to do" to be frank does make it obvious that it's your problem and not his.

He probably just thought he was saving you time in line.

If a foot is 'too close' Staywithme, noted , will stand further away in future.

Thank you OP, though you can stand a wee bit closer if you're pouring me a gin.

I have just got a tape measure to measure what I consider an acceptable distance for someone to stand behind me in the queue.

It is an absolute minimum of 80cm (or 2'7" for imperialists).