Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I have good grounds for refusing to work with this person?

182 replies

kittensinmittens · 07/10/2014 22:02

Who:

Smokes
Listens to loud head banging music
Throws rubbish out of the car including cans (hate this, it affects wildlife)

I don't want any trouble but I don't see why I should have to put up with it either!!

OP posts:
OwlWearingSunglasses · 07/10/2014 22:03

Do they do this at work?

JeanSeberg · 07/10/2014 22:04

Does he do all those things while you're working together or in his own time?

Original poster
kittensinmittens · 07/10/2014 22:05

She.

Working together obviously, it would be none of my business if they did it in their own time!!

OP posts:
Pumpkinpositive · 07/10/2014 22:05

Please go on...

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 07/10/2014 22:05

Yes, does this person do this while at work?

ChippingInLatteLover · 07/10/2014 22:05

Have you signed up to a care agency?

MaidOfStars · 07/10/2014 22:06

Assuming you are car sharing, is this in work time or travelling between jobs?

Bunbaker · 07/10/2014 22:07

What kind of job do you do where someone can do all these things while working?

Original poster
kittensinmittens · 07/10/2014 22:08

Both I suppose, we are travelling between jobs but this isn't paid time, but just the same I don't see why, I have to have this. If it's my car as well, I'm terrified of being held responsible for dropping litter and being fined, but even so it's disgusting.

OP posts:
thereturnofshoesy · 07/10/2014 22:09

if it is your car tell her to stop. on what planet does a smoker smoke in a non smokers car(and I say that as a smoker)

the music.....what kind?

starlight1234 · 07/10/2014 22:10

This all sounds to cryptic for me. Do they smoke in office car? if so they are breaking the law? where are they listening to music?

Original poster
kittensinmittens · 07/10/2014 22:11

It's not cryptic, I don't understand, the job involves driving. The music - I dunno, loud music that gives me a headache? But it's horrible seriously to put up with.

OP posts:
HaroldLloyd · 07/10/2014 22:13

Turn the music down
Tell them no smoking in car
Ask them to stop throwing cans out of the window.

Refusing to work with someone sounds a but extreme.

Pumpkinpositive · 07/10/2014 22:15

I'm sorry but how did this become a problem in your car??

Tell her no music, no littering and no smoking.

Simples. Hmm

Original poster
kittensinmittens · 07/10/2014 22:16

Harold - I don't know if you meant it this way but your post makes me sound and feel like an idiot.

Once someone has lit up especially in their own car you can politely say please don't smoke but if they refuse especially like I say in their own car ...

Likewise chucking cans out of the window. Someone who does this isn't going to go oh yes terribly sorry. They'll tell you to fuck off. Likewise with the music. Someone with an iota of consideration just wouldn't have it on that loud anyway, I wouldn't. Hmm

You spend 5 hours in a smoky car with music blasting your head off and come and tell me it's extreme!

OP posts:
Original poster
kittensinmittens · 07/10/2014 22:18

I can control the music to an extent and the smoking in my car but usually we are in hers.

And you know once someone has hurled a can out of the window it's kind of hard getting it back.

Please stop making this into me, I am not the anti social idiot!

OP posts:
Icimoi · 07/10/2014 22:20

Right, that's made it all a bit clearer, OP. And yes, I would say you are certainly justified in refusing to work with her. There is no reason why you should have to endure work conditions that stress you and may make you ill.

thereturnofshoesy · 07/10/2014 22:21

just ask her not to smoke,
the music you can't really do much about. the rubbish
well mention she could be fined

SwanneeKazoo · 07/10/2014 22:21

why do you have to travel in her car? Why can't you go in yours?

shinynewname · 07/10/2014 22:21

So a shared work car?

Litter dropping is extremely stupid, surely they can wait till the car stops? I think I'd be handing them a wee carrier bag with acatsbumface.

Smoking in a car with a non smoker is very unpleasant and selfish. If it is a work car in surprised it'd be permitted.

Music/radio choice is normally agreed on by both parties in a car. I love 'loud headbanging music' myself, but wouldn't expect others to listen to it.

kslatts · 07/10/2014 22:22

Do you have to share a car, can you not each use your own car?

shinynewname · 07/10/2014 22:23

Oh. Cross post with explanation.

Still a selfish arse.

If she refuses to stop smoking with you in the car, definitely complain. That alone is surely enough. :(

Original poster
kittensinmittens · 07/10/2014 22:25

It's not a work car it's hers.

And we usually go in hers I guess so that she CAN smoke and listen to loud head banging music!

Please can you stop saying oh ask her to turn it down / not smoke as If I were to do this, it would make life very difficult for myself in the process And its making me feel like some pathetic bullied little girl, and, actually I think I've got a legitimate point.

OP posts:
thereturnofshoesy · 07/10/2014 22:26

sorry you are upset
but you asked if yabu

DiaDuit · 07/10/2014 22:26

When in your car you just say "no, dont do it or get the fuck out."

Refuse to go in her car.

Swipe left for the next trending thread