To think I have good grounds for refusing to work with this person?

[kittensinmittens]

Who:

Smokes
Listens to loud head banging music
Throws rubbish out of the car including cans (hate this, it affects wildlife)

I don't want any trouble but I don't see why I should have to put up with it either!!

I'm still unsure if she can legally smoke in her car if it's her own car?

Blimey,sounds like a difficult situation.
Have you considered that others have complained of exactly the same issues and that is why you are stuck with her?
In your situation I would go to the manager(her line manager). I would simply state that you find her smoking intolerable,and the music unbearable and you are intimidated by her. Good reliable care staff are hard to come by. Ask directly to be swapped to work with someone else. If they can't or won't find a different agency to work through.

I think the problem here is that lots of people who are naturally quite assertive find it very hard to understand how difficult it is to for someone who is shy/ unassertive to confront anyone - even if they are in the right. I really feel for you, OP - it's such a difficult thing to deal with because you're naturally shy and avoid confrontation. My daughter is like you and I, as an "assertive" person, get frustrated sometimes and can't understand why she doesn't just stand up for herself - but she just can't do it. And those posters saying that you seem assertive on here are talking crap because this is anonymous and not face to face.

Work situations are always tricky because you've got to see these people day in and day out but I'd be inclined to speak to the manager and explain that the smoking is making you feel ill. Don't mention the rubbish and the loud music - concentrate on the smoking.

The fundamental problem though is that you are on a zero hours contract ( I presume) so they've got you by the balls. This is why we need unions - to fight for decent, humane working for everyone.

There are clearly only two positive outcomes for you which don't involve you getting another job.

a) This person changes their behaviour
b) You drive your own car and don't have to share with her

The first seems unlikely. I think you should pursue the second. Ask your manager if you can drive separately to your appointments. When asked why, explain about the smoking.

The car is, as other people have said, effectively part of your workplace, so the company is responsible for your health in it. Either they stop this person smoking in any work car, or they cough up two travel allowances.

Thank you for lovely replies. To be honest it has meant a lot just that people have understood why this has upset me.

It's not an easy job and it's important although it isn't well paid - you can't just chuck people out at the roadside! Even though you'd love to

Dia may not have actually said the words 'it's your fault', but that was definitely the implication of the things she did say.

It absolutely wasnt because that isnt what i think. How could it be OP's fault that someone else smokes, litters and is generally a twat? It isnt. What i was saying is that it is OP's problem right now in that she is the one being subjected to it and so she has to deal with it. That is not at all the same as saying this is OP's fault.

OP I do think this other person is being unreasonable, but I don't know what you can actually DO about it.

If you're not paid for the time in the car and it's not a company car then surely what goes on inside the car is outside of your employer's remit?

So your options seem to be:
-ask her to moderate her behaviour which you are understanably relucatant to do

• refuse to be paired with her but then presumably your employer could say it's not up to you to pick and choose and either ignore you or not give you the hours?
• put up with it
• leave your job
• if there is a policy regarding behaviour in cars and she is contravening this then you could report her (But how would you prove it? and this would hardly improve your working relationship).

None of those options are attractive and I feel for you, but not sure what you can actually do about it? Hopefully someone who has practical experince of something silimar will have some constructive advice for you.

We'll I've emailed and explained so hopefully something will happen.

I'm worried that something will be said to the person though and am meant to be working with them later.

I'll just say that when we had carers coming in to help my Dad in his final weeks it was absolutely horrible to have carers in the house stinking of smoke. It didn't cause him a problem so much, but was very distressing for my Mum. Neither of them smoke and one woman just reeked of smoke. His bedroom, the hallway stairs and landing all stunk after she left. In the end I rang up the agency and asked them not to send her again and told them why. Apart from anything else I thought it was hugely disrespectful to go into a home where someone was dying without giving any thought to this.
Op - you're in a difficult position, but in your shoes I'd have refused to travel in this car a long time ago. After the first trip probably. Your employer can't insist that you travel in a smoke-filled vehicle.

Vycount If I'd done that your dad - or people like him - would have had no care at all.

I'm so sorry about your experience but please try not to make it "simple". I do an important job, and yes the pay and hours are awful but it is important, and I'm not just leaving nine or ten people unable to get to bed because one woman is inconsiderate and awful. Besides, why should I and they be the ones to suffer when we've done nothing wrong?

I feel for you, Kittens. I cannot be in the same area as a smoker never mind a confined space. I've never smoked and, like you, would not like to be a 'prisoner' in a smoker's car, sitting in a stinking fug. Is there another colleague with whom you could share the job?

Does your current car sharer know that smoking causes lung cancer (and you do not want that from passive smoking)? As for the cared-for people, how awful for them.

I don't understand what you're saying at all Kittens. "If I'd done that your day - or people like him - would have had no care at all".

And I'm not trying to make it "simple" either. Yes, you are in a difficult position. However if you had tackled your employer about it that doesn't automatically mean that people would go without care. I didn't say get out of the car and abandon the day did I? I would have been in touch with my manager"after the first day".

A lot of companies where employees travel in their own cars have policies covering anti-social behaviour at will affect clients. Stinking of smoke in a caring profession is unacceptable on any level. It is up to them to come up with a solution. That might be that you drive and give the colleague a lift and they are told no smoking. Of they could - if they wanted - swallow some extra mileage costs. The bottom line is that you don't have to do this. You could maybe speak to ACAS for advice by the way, I've found them helpful in the past.

If she's receiving payment for using her car, it's part of your workplace and you shouldn't be subjected to smoking.

This - in a nutshell.

Can't you just not car share? If you think you have a legitimate point then take it up with your employers, there's no point asking opinions on here.

hope your email works and you get the outcome you need.

Good for you Kittens what did you say?

youare only one person can claim mileage - that's why she can't "just not car share".

What does she want us to do about it? Many people have given perfectly acceptable suggestions which have all been shot down for one reason or another. Does she want us to give her "permission" to refuse to work with this person? What would that achieve? The only options IMO are to speak to her employer or find another job

Excuse me.

'She' has said what 'she' wants from the thread.

How rude!

Excuse me.

'She' has said what 'she' wants from the thread.

How rude!

Only one person can claim mileage, but of course the employers could change that if they want to. Particularly as they are on dodgy ground if they insist that one of their workers is forced to be in a smoky environment.
Hopefully you get some help Kittens, if not I do recommend ACAS, or maybe even Citizen's Advice. You might want to consider joining a union - GMB are quite interested in the plight of carer workers I think, but I think you could also join Unite or Unison. Then in case of future problems you'll get advice on employment matters for free from them.

Thanks.

I'm fairly confident I'll be supported but what I don't want is person being to oh, kittens is complaining about you. Obviously that's pretty awkward!

Thanks.

I'm fairly confident I'll be supported but what I don't want is person being to oh, kittens is complaining about you. Obviously that's pretty awkward!

Honestly, join a union. Be prepared for any future aggro. I don't know about all of them but Unite will support members once they've been joined for a month.

I think you leave your line manager to deal with that. In their shoes, i would speak to you first about the problem and give you options;

eg "I can speak to smoker"

or "I can shift you to a different route and this would mean x.y.z"