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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I have some dirt on someone that used to bully me ... WWYD? (long)

184 replies

Shinysideup675 · 29/09/2014 19:12

When I was growing up, I was friendly with two sisters that used to live next door. They went to a different school, so we used to hang out in the evenings after school. During the last couple of years/6th form, one of their school friends moved to a house around the corner with her family. This friend, for some reason, took an instant dislike to me, I think because she was jealous of my friendship with the sisters, and started bullying me- shouting abuse into the street if I passed her house or the shop where she had a Saturday job - mainly about what a slag I was (I wasnt, hadnt ever actually DTD with anyone at this age) phoning the house, threats of violence that were never actually carried out. The galling thing was, she was a proper slapper herself her nickname, given by the local lads, was Spunkthirsty cos it rhymed with her actual name. I know I wasnt the only one she used to do this to. When she was about 18 she went totally off the rails, got in with local drug dealers and did a runner with their money (this is about 25 years ago). Im still in touch with the sisters (as is she) so I hear the odd snippet of gossip about what shes doing.

Shes back living in the old home town, and apparently, is a gobby bint that makes her neighbours lives a misery noise all hours of the day and night, staffy/PB type dogs roaming about and terroring the neighbours, etc. etc. One of the neighbours has reported her and the dogs have been taken off her, theres some sort of court hearing coming up about her getting them back but I dont know all the details. Shes moaning about her bad behaviour 20 odd years ago being held against her now (well, love, you made your bed ...) and telling everyone that shes really enjoying a new job as a carer. Turns out shes not elaboratd exactly what type of carer ...

I have a friend (also from our home town) that works for a company that manages apartments in a city centre about 10 miles away. They tell me that she is renting one of them. Shes not living there or subletting, but is basically using it as a base to operate as a prostitute. We did a bit of fishing and found her profile on AW which has clear face pics and pics of distinctive tattoos (and other body parts and, er, action shots that I cant unsee ). The profile also states that shes 35. Shes actually 42 (and a grandma). Quite tidy for her age, though, it has to be said. Her feedback is very positive, too. Seems shes very enthusiastic...

WWYD? Would you spill the beans? I havent ... although a small bad part of me would like some payback for her giving me hell all those years ago. I think all I would do is sign up to FB using her work name and a pic and send her a friend request just to freak her out a bit, nothing more than that. But I wont, honest.

OP posts:
formerbabe · 29/09/2014 19:13

I'd keep out of it.

Toadsrevisited · 29/09/2014 19:14

I would grow up and move on, tbh. What a sad life for her.

LiverpoolLou · 29/09/2014 19:15

When I was growing up ...

Sounds like you've still got a hell of a lot of growing up to do.

blueballoon79 · 29/09/2014 19:16

I'd keep out of it too. It sounds like her life is dire.

FunkyBoldRibena · 29/09/2014 19:16

Oh just grow up!

NotTheKitchenAgainPlease · 29/09/2014 19:16

I wouldn't. Just stay away from her and live in the knowledge that her life has been really rough.

Icimoi · 29/09/2014 19:16

Who would you spill the beans to, and for what purpose? It doesn't sound as if she's keeping any of this secret, I suspect you might find that many of your local circle knew all about it already.

AdmitYouKnowImRight · 29/09/2014 19:16

Keep your beak out, grow up and move on. If you are still harbouring grudges a thousand years later the you really need therapy

Momagain1 · 29/09/2014 19:17

Revel in knowing she turned out as expected. Then forget about her.

NotTheKitchenAgainPlease · 29/09/2014 19:17

X posted with everyone else and I was trying to be nice. Please leve her alone.

NotTheKitchenAgainPlease · 29/09/2014 19:17

Leave

sonjadog · 29/09/2014 19:19

Poor woman. Life hasn't been kind to her. Show some compassion.

Leviticus · 29/09/2014 19:20

If she's ended up working as a prostitute I suspect her life is bad enough.

Leave it alone.

angryangryyoungwoman · 29/09/2014 19:21

"she was a proper slapper"
What a nasty and misogynistic thing to say. She may have bullied you but you need to grow up, move on and think about how you come across by describing her like that.

CatKisser · 29/09/2014 19:22

I always think it must be so bloody draining to be full of hate and grudges! Hmm

phantomnamechanger · 29/09/2014 19:23

Be glad you turned out better than her. Feel sorry for her. but do nothing else. I can't see what you would even gain from getting involved at all.

TheTravellingLemon · 29/09/2014 19:24

The posters telling the OP to grow up have obviously never been bullied.

That aside, I would keep well away. She doesn't sound very nice and in a calmer moment you'll realise that you would be silly to invite her back into your life. By getting involved you are doing just that.

longest · 29/09/2014 19:28

I don't think you need to "grow up" but I do think you should keep out of it.

lettertoherms · 29/09/2014 19:28

Er, I was bullied awfully.

I definitely advise op to grow up and move on. There's nothing to be gained by holding grudges and trying to get some sort of revenge decades later. Be happy that you've led a better life and been more fortunate. Continuing to care about the circumstances of a bully's life gives more power to their past actions.

misstiredbuthappy · 29/09/2014 19:28

Dont let her bother you OP

Her lifes shiter than yours, thats karma. Leave it at that.

LiverpoolLou · 29/09/2014 19:29

The posters telling the OP to grow up have obviously never been bullied.

You're wrong. I have AS. As a result I have been bullied mercilessly throughout my entire childhood and my working life. It didn't turn me into an immature, spiteful gossip.

Bulbasaur · 29/09/2014 19:29

So... Let me get this straight.

25+ years ago a girl who was most likely being abused was mean to you.

Now you're stalking her to the point of looking up porn featuring her.

You've got issues.

ArsenicFaceCream · 29/09/2014 19:29

I'm sure there are plenty of people who have been bullied who aren't actively digging for dirt on their tormentors 25 years later.

You hunted this information down. On adult websites?

You sound unwell or unpleasant. Let it go.

PiperIsOrange · 29/09/2014 19:30

Kick a dog while it's down why don't you.

Nobody ever dreams of growing up and selling their bodies for sex. Nobody wants to be a drug addict.

Grow up and appreciate that life hasn't dealt you with hand.

AdmitYouKnowImRight · 29/09/2014 19:33

The galling thing was, she was a proper slapper herself her nickname, given by the local lads, was Spunkthirsty

The benefit of hindsight and background in education tends to show most of these girls were abused at home and the behaviour pattern was continued.

Where is this girl today? Still being abused.

You crack on Op. Give you a massive thrill does it?

you are a 1000 times worse than she will ever be