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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I have some dirt on someone that used to bully me ... WWYD? (long)

184 replies

Shinysideup675 · 29/09/2014 19:12

When I was growing up, I was friendly with two sisters that used to live next door. They went to a different school, so we used to hang out in the evenings after school. During the last couple of years/6th form, one of their school friends moved to a house around the corner with her family. This friend, for some reason, took an instant dislike to me, I think because she was jealous of my friendship with the sisters, and started bullying me- shouting abuse into the street if I passed her house or the shop where she had a Saturday job - mainly about what a slag I was (I wasnt, hadnt ever actually DTD with anyone at this age) phoning the house, threats of violence that were never actually carried out. The galling thing was, she was a proper slapper herself her nickname, given by the local lads, was Spunkthirsty cos it rhymed with her actual name. I know I wasnt the only one she used to do this to. When she was about 18 she went totally off the rails, got in with local drug dealers and did a runner with their money (this is about 25 years ago). Im still in touch with the sisters (as is she) so I hear the odd snippet of gossip about what shes doing.

Shes back living in the old home town, and apparently, is a gobby bint that makes her neighbours lives a misery noise all hours of the day and night, staffy/PB type dogs roaming about and terroring the neighbours, etc. etc. One of the neighbours has reported her and the dogs have been taken off her, theres some sort of court hearing coming up about her getting them back but I dont know all the details. Shes moaning about her bad behaviour 20 odd years ago being held against her now (well, love, you made your bed ...) and telling everyone that shes really enjoying a new job as a carer. Turns out shes not elaboratd exactly what type of carer ...

I have a friend (also from our home town) that works for a company that manages apartments in a city centre about 10 miles away. They tell me that she is renting one of them. Shes not living there or subletting, but is basically using it as a base to operate as a prostitute. We did a bit of fishing and found her profile on AW which has clear face pics and pics of distinctive tattoos (and other body parts and, er, action shots that I cant unsee ). The profile also states that shes 35. Shes actually 42 (and a grandma). Quite tidy for her age, though, it has to be said. Her feedback is very positive, too. Seems shes very enthusiastic...

WWYD? Would you spill the beans? I havent ... although a small bad part of me would like some payback for her giving me hell all those years ago. I think all I would do is sign up to FB using her work name and a pic and send her a friend request just to freak her out a bit, nothing more than that. But I wont, honest.

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 29/09/2014 19:49

OP, tempting though it is, don't do it!

I had a fleeting moment the other day. My now ex StD posted a pic on FB of her Dads wedding to the OW. I thought for a second about posting under it 'When the mistress becomes the wife, she creates a vacancy'. I sat on my hands and gave myself a good talking to!

I am the better person in all of this, you should be too!

flicktuck · 29/09/2014 19:50

'she was a proper slapper herself her nickname, given by the local lads, was Spunkthirsty'

Ever heard the expression 'give a dog a bad name?'
Poor girl, can't you see how bullied she was herself? no wonder she turned to drugs and began the downward spiral to where she is now.

Bakeoffcakes · 29/09/2014 19:50

Gosh you sound a bit unhinged.

Yes she was a total cow to you when you were growing up, no you shouldn't be stalking her.

I was horribly bullied during two periods of my life. I look back on those girls and feel nothing but pity. I think they must have been going through absolute shit to behave as they did. Or they may have just been bitches, but I still feel sorry for them.

Please, just stop thinking about her and what she's up to. Find some other things to distract you.

HesterShaw · 29/09/2014 19:52

Are you sure it was 25 years ago. You sound about 15.

BaffledSomeMore · 29/09/2014 19:53

In the realms of fantasy (which is where it should stay) what would the outcome be? Would it actually change anything?

I suspect a lot of people have people they wish just desserts upon but life isn't like that.

And this would have potential to backfire on other people even if it were something you thought about actually doing.

usualsuspect333 · 29/09/2014 19:54

What would I do? Nothing.

Sounds like she was bullied too.

bloodyteenagers · 29/09/2014 19:55

Oh and as for having a name from the local lads.
I had a nasty name from the local lads. They were being nasty little fuckers who tried numerous ways to have sex with them. Every time I said no, they upped their game. Until the nasty names like spunkthirsty were invented. The taunting, calling those names, saying shite like well everyone thinks its true, might as well do it then. I never, ever did a thing with them, yet everybody believed it to be the case.

DarkHeart · 29/09/2014 19:55

Honestly if she is working as a prostitute she hasn't had an easy life. You got bullied, get over it and move on.

BlueberryWafer · 29/09/2014 19:55

Sounds like her life has been tough as it is, especially if she's ended up working as a prostitute. Poor girl.

NecesitoDormir · 29/09/2014 19:56

I didn't read your post as it was too long and frankly wouldn't change my advice. Move on and forget about it. Whatever it is. Life it too short.

PiperIsOrange · 29/09/2014 19:56

42 is rather young to be a grandma.

So sounds like she has had a child quite young and so did her child.

ChippingInLatteLover · 29/09/2014 19:59

MamaTJ are your hands numb yet??? I'm not entirely sure I could have resisted...

parakeet · 29/09/2014 20:00

So your misogynistic slut-shaming is justifiable because men initiated the slut-shaming?

whatwhatinthewhatnow · 29/09/2014 20:00

I just think that if you write 10,00000 books/series/short stories, some of them have to turn up good

The infinite monkey theorem would suggest this is true.

I have only read The Shining and the dog at the party bit freaked me OUT.

Whiskwarrior · 29/09/2014 20:00

whatwhat - did you meant that for the Stephen King thread by any chance? Grin

Branleuse · 29/09/2014 20:02

Ive been bullied. I think you could probably do with talking to someone about it, but getting involved in her life now will not help.

You didnt deserve the way she treated you, but in all honesty, it sounds like she was probably abused herself and took it out on you, then herself.

Please step back and be the bigger person. Move on.

pandarific · 29/09/2014 20:05

Yeesh. How compassionate you are, OP. Leave her alone.

Shinysideup675 · 29/09/2014 20:06

The assumption also appears to be that I've said I'm going to say/do something when quite clearly I've stated otherwise. Also a massive assumption that by giving the backstory Im harbouring a grudge, brooding, stalking (it took less than 30 seconds to find her on the site).

Reality is, what I would do (but I am actually going to continue to mind my own beeswax) would be tell her to get her face pics off the site in case anyone else from her past recognises her and makes her life more unpleasant (than is being assumed). Because I am a grown up.

OP posts:
Whiskwarrior · 29/09/2014 20:08

Because I am a grown up.

Then why start the thread in the first place?

Funny how you've done a massive u-turn once the majority of people didn't agree with you.

Excuse me if I don't believe you.

whatwhatinthewhatnow · 29/09/2014 20:11

Yes. Whoops. As you were.

Oh and YABU.

sonjadog · 29/09/2014 20:13

So if you were never going to do anything, why did you start this thread?

LovleyRitaMeterMaid · 29/09/2014 20:13

I cab understand the temptation to use what you know to hurt he But the fact she has he pics up on aw so publicly suggests she doesn't care who knows. Which is quite sad.

whatwhatinthewhatnow · 29/09/2014 20:14

Sorry to be stupid but what is "AW"? Is that like LinkedIn for prostitutes?

MandarinCheesecake · 29/09/2014 20:15

I've long since learned that karma is your friend. I have dirt on people that have wronged me. I could dish it up and bring them back down to earth with a whacking great thump.......but I wouldn't dream of it, its in the past.

I live my life well and that's all I need.

It's been 25 years, if you are still harbouring a grudge after all this time you really need to learn to let go and move on.
Her life sounds pretty miserable as it is, why would you think adding to it is a good idea??

MrsJossNaylor · 29/09/2014 20:17

You've changed your tune, OP. In the original post you claim you "did a bit of fishing" to find her on the porn sites. But then you backtrack and subsequently claim it took you "30 seconds."

It can't be both now, can it?

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