Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I have some dirt on someone that used to bully me ... WWYD? (long)

184 replies

Shinysideup675 · 29/09/2014 19:12

When I was growing up, I was friendly with two sisters that used to live next door. They went to a different school, so we used to hang out in the evenings after school. During the last couple of years/6th form, one of their school friends moved to a house around the corner with her family. This friend, for some reason, took an instant dislike to me, I think because she was jealous of my friendship with the sisters, and started bullying me- shouting abuse into the street if I passed her house or the shop where she had a Saturday job - mainly about what a slag I was (I wasnt, hadnt ever actually DTD with anyone at this age) phoning the house, threats of violence that were never actually carried out. The galling thing was, she was a proper slapper herself her nickname, given by the local lads, was Spunkthirsty cos it rhymed with her actual name. I know I wasnt the only one she used to do this to. When she was about 18 she went totally off the rails, got in with local drug dealers and did a runner with their money (this is about 25 years ago). Im still in touch with the sisters (as is she) so I hear the odd snippet of gossip about what shes doing.

Shes back living in the old home town, and apparently, is a gobby bint that makes her neighbours lives a misery noise all hours of the day and night, staffy/PB type dogs roaming about and terroring the neighbours, etc. etc. One of the neighbours has reported her and the dogs have been taken off her, theres some sort of court hearing coming up about her getting them back but I dont know all the details. Shes moaning about her bad behaviour 20 odd years ago being held against her now (well, love, you made your bed ...) and telling everyone that shes really enjoying a new job as a carer. Turns out shes not elaboratd exactly what type of carer ...

I have a friend (also from our home town) that works for a company that manages apartments in a city centre about 10 miles away. They tell me that she is renting one of them. Shes not living there or subletting, but is basically using it as a base to operate as a prostitute. We did a bit of fishing and found her profile on AW which has clear face pics and pics of distinctive tattoos (and other body parts and, er, action shots that I cant unsee ). The profile also states that shes 35. Shes actually 42 (and a grandma). Quite tidy for her age, though, it has to be said. Her feedback is very positive, too. Seems shes very enthusiastic...

WWYD? Would you spill the beans? I havent ... although a small bad part of me would like some payback for her giving me hell all those years ago. I think all I would do is sign up to FB using her work name and a pic and send her a friend request just to freak her out a bit, nothing more than that. But I wont, honest.

OP posts:
ArsenicFaceCream · 29/09/2014 22:03

Ok then, how about : she made her body freely available and revelled the attention from the boys.

The likelihood is that she was acting out in a sexualised way due to sexual abuse in childhood. Is that hard to understand? Really?

Hence the WWYD - not, please note, 'i am going to ...' So, basically, my providing a backstory and asking a question makes me appear both unhinged and immature.

But you're not listening.

ArsenicFaceCream · 29/09/2014 22:04

FWIW, ive not actually bothered to see if she's even on FB, it was, as ive said, just a fleeting thought.

You are having a lot of fleeting thoughts. Perhaps you could try some fleeting empathy?

MyEmpireOfDirt · 29/09/2014 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyEmpireOfDirt · 29/09/2014 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Selinemaratima · 29/09/2014 22:15

I'm tempted to suggest that she isn't paying for the flat from sex work, someone else is probably organising her punters... You see... This is even worse, tbh she'd be in my prayers if I was you. Bullies are ultimately insecure, higher up thread was right (paraphrase) that maturity= compassion, forgiveness and empathy. Be grateful you can get into bed tonight and sleep safe & sound; I doubt she can, poor cow

Shinysideup675 · 29/09/2014 22:15

I have mentioned only one fleeting thought.

She never spared any empathy for the people she bullied.

Yet another massive assumption that she was abused as a child. Not the case.

Also not the case that she was a drug user - I said that she associated with dealers.

OP posts:
ArsenicFaceCream · 29/09/2014 22:18

Yet another massive assumption that she was abused as a child. Not the case.

How the FUCK can you possibly say that?

Shinysideup675 · 29/09/2014 22:20

Please tell me how you're sure you know better. Given that you don't have any knowledge of her upbringing at all.

OP posts:
ArsenicFaceCream · 29/09/2014 22:21

Arsenic - this woman being a possible victim of abuse was my thought when I read the OP too

Well teens don't usually act like that without a root cause. Tragically Sad

wowfudge · 29/09/2014 22:22

FGS OP: grow up. As the adage goes, if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything.

LifesUPandLifesDown · 29/09/2014 22:24

Wow. Just wow. I'd keep my big nose well out if I was you.

You seem to have took an awful lot of glee out of this. You sound horrible.

The posters telling the OP to grow up have obviously never been bullied

Most people have been bullied in their life time, but after a few years most normal people tend to let things go. Not be all gleeful that the bully is now a prostitute and then want to spill the beans what a sad life for the former Bully. But even sadder for the OP that all these years later she still harbours a grudge and takes pleasure in someone else's misery.

MyEmpireOfDirt · 29/09/2014 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArsenicFaceCream · 29/09/2014 22:24

I'm not 'sure', you idiot. I said 'likelihood'. I am deducing from the poor girl's deeply disturbed behaviour, as reported by you.

How on earth can you say with certainty that she WASN'T abused? Sexual abuse of children is generally not advertised .

What the hell is wrong with you?

ArsenicFaceCream · 29/09/2014 22:26

Got to be a troll.

Please god.

MyEmpireOfDirt · 29/09/2014 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LifesUPandLifesDown · 29/09/2014 22:26

I bet everyone telling you not to do it has made you very angry. We're you assuming people on here would applaud your nasty thoughts?

MyEmpireOfDirt · 29/09/2014 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PiperIsOrange · 29/09/2014 22:27

Ok then, how about : she made her body freely available and revelled the attention from the boys.

That is one of the most depressing thing I have ever read.

So what about these boys who fucking used her for sex.

As a teenager do you think that is normal behaviour to have sex with a lot of boys.

That is why there is an age of 16 to have consensual sex, because many teens are not mature enough to deal with sex.

MyEmpireOfDirt · 29/09/2014 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PiperIsOrange · 29/09/2014 22:29

Btw an adult having many sexual partners is different, because they know the emotional side connected with 1 night stands.

picnicbasketcase · 29/09/2014 22:33

I get that it is easy and very common to have thoughts of revenge about people who have treated you badly. But it would be hugely unreasonable and make you look far worse to act on those thoughts. You already know that anyway. You are getting a huge flaming for airing your thoughts, so maybe think a bit harder before sharing them.

LaurieFairyCake · 29/09/2014 22:34

I think people should try to remember that the OP was bullied horribly.

This thread is in danger of looking like we're all having a massive go.

Fwiw there's a couple of people in my life who I would like to see dead in the street, having a horrible life etc as they sexually assaulted me.

All the 'I'm grown up I should just forget about it' doesn't always compensate no matter how sorted and chillaxed you are.

MyEmpireOfDirt · 29/09/2014 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArsenicFaceCream · 29/09/2014 22:39

Laurie I appreciate how awful verbal bullying can be.

But at a distance of 25 years are you arguing that any amount of verbal abuse comes close to excusing some of the vileness expressed by a fortysomething here towards a very unfortunate person? Come on.

LaurieFairyCake · 29/09/2014 22:39

Hang on, the OP was the one called a 'slag' by this girl.

And the other girls nickname didn't come from the OP, it came from other arseholes.