Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I have some dirt on someone that used to bully me ... WWYD? (long)

184 replies

Shinysideup675 · 29/09/2014 19:12

When I was growing up, I was friendly with two sisters that used to live next door. They went to a different school, so we used to hang out in the evenings after school. During the last couple of years/6th form, one of their school friends moved to a house around the corner with her family. This friend, for some reason, took an instant dislike to me, I think because she was jealous of my friendship with the sisters, and started bullying me- shouting abuse into the street if I passed her house or the shop where she had a Saturday job - mainly about what a slag I was (I wasnt, hadnt ever actually DTD with anyone at this age) phoning the house, threats of violence that were never actually carried out. The galling thing was, she was a proper slapper herself her nickname, given by the local lads, was Spunkthirsty cos it rhymed with her actual name. I know I wasnt the only one she used to do this to. When she was about 18 she went totally off the rails, got in with local drug dealers and did a runner with their money (this is about 25 years ago). Im still in touch with the sisters (as is she) so I hear the odd snippet of gossip about what shes doing.

Shes back living in the old home town, and apparently, is a gobby bint that makes her neighbours lives a misery noise all hours of the day and night, staffy/PB type dogs roaming about and terroring the neighbours, etc. etc. One of the neighbours has reported her and the dogs have been taken off her, theres some sort of court hearing coming up about her getting them back but I dont know all the details. Shes moaning about her bad behaviour 20 odd years ago being held against her now (well, love, you made your bed ...) and telling everyone that shes really enjoying a new job as a carer. Turns out shes not elaboratd exactly what type of carer ...

I have a friend (also from our home town) that works for a company that manages apartments in a city centre about 10 miles away. They tell me that she is renting one of them. Shes not living there or subletting, but is basically using it as a base to operate as a prostitute. We did a bit of fishing and found her profile on AW which has clear face pics and pics of distinctive tattoos (and other body parts and, er, action shots that I cant unsee ). The profile also states that shes 35. Shes actually 42 (and a grandma). Quite tidy for her age, though, it has to be said. Her feedback is very positive, too. Seems shes very enthusiastic...

WWYD? Would you spill the beans? I havent ... although a small bad part of me would like some payback for her giving me hell all those years ago. I think all I would do is sign up to FB using her work name and a pic and send her a friend request just to freak her out a bit, nothing more than that. But I wont, honest.

OP posts:
LovleyRitaMeterMaid · 29/09/2014 20:17

It's a website, adult work, which provides a platform for people to sell sexual services, from phone sex to escort work.

MandarinCheesecake · 29/09/2014 20:17

Oops x posted, but my message still stands!

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 29/09/2014 20:17

Jesus, leave the poor cow alone.

kali110 · 29/09/2014 20:23

I know it's tempting but i wouldn't.
I was bullied at school and at work. It's awful. All the posters saying have compassion for the bullies, i
Have no compassion for them.
I'm a nice person, but these bullies made my life hell. I wanted to die so i don't think you're a horrible person for thinking for one moment of getting revenge!
Sounds like she's had a shit life though, so just think that when you think of doing something!
You're the better person, don't ruin that by doing something stupid that you can't take back.

MammaTJ · 29/09/2014 20:23

MamaTJ are your hands numb yet??? I'm not entirely sure I could have resisted...

That would have meant bringing the girls (StD and DD) in to it! Kept my hands busy on MN! A useful addiction!

Shinysideup675 · 29/09/2014 20:27

You've changed your tune, OP. In the original post you claim you "did a bit of fishing" to find her on the porn sites. But then you backtrack and subsequently claim it took you "30 seconds."

It can't be both now, can it?

Er, yes, actually. The friend showed/told me about one site (apparently a few people use these apartments for the same line of work, they as letting agents regularly check it if they have suspicions about anyone - this use can be in breach of a letting agreement at some properties - use for immoral purpose or something). searched for a female within X miles of X postcode. not too taxing. She was dish of the day or whatever they call it. Top of the page. special offer, whatever. A simple 30 second search.

OP posts:
furcoatbigknickers · 29/09/2014 20:31

What a sad life she has

bloodyteenagers · 29/09/2014 20:32

Err more back tracking. In your op you said you both dog some digging. Now this other person dog the digging. She needs to get sacked, data protection and all that and you need to stop digging holes.

ChippingInLatteLover · 29/09/2014 20:37

MamaTJ Oh, well, if you have the girls to think about... thank god for MN eh!

whatwhatinthewhatnow · 29/09/2014 21:03

FWIW, I often see people who used to bully me in the street. Shout 'fatty' etc at me, come in to the shop I worked in and harrass me and so on.

I saw one of them in town. He was drunk and had no teeth.
I saw another one on the bus. He had pissed himself.

Do I feel like I want to get 'revenge' on these people? Not particularly. They took all my revenge out on themselves.

clairemum22 · 29/09/2014 21:09

I don't see why you've had such a flaming. If you want to think "what goes around, comes around" fair enough! Definitely let it lie though as she's probably still a nasty piece of work

Celticlass2 · 29/09/2014 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LiverpoolLou · 29/09/2014 21:16

What was you purpose in starting this thread OP?

Topaz25 · 29/09/2014 21:21

I was bullied as a child so I can certainly understand the impulse to get revenge but the best revenge is living a good life. It sounds like your former bully is miserable enough without you interfering, rather than looking bitter by kicking her when she is down, move on with your head held high.

burgatroyd · 29/09/2014 21:27

Grow up. Why are you bothered by this?

Shinysideup675 · 29/09/2014 21:30

Err more back tracking. In your op you said you both dog some digging. Now this other person dog the digging. She needs to get sacked, data protection and all that and you need to stop digging holes.

FFS. What I actually said was that WE had done some FISHING. Together. One look, on one site. There was no mention of either dogs or digging. Or dogging, for that matter. So I'd suggest that you look up back tracking in a dictionary.

OP posts:
Shinysideup675 · 29/09/2014 21:33

Oh, and you made another incorrect assumption - that the friend is female. Good work.

OP posts:
PiperIsOrange · 29/09/2014 21:34

I was bullied in school, but as a 28 year old women with DC of my own I can see it was a childhood thing.

I been on social sites now for over 8 years and I haven't had any nasty or vindictive messages, they have not continued.

As I live in the same area our DC go to the same school and when I have a minor problem and spoke to them it has been sorted.

I have even been to coffee mornings and helped fund raise for one of my ex bully children who is serverly disabled.

PiperIsOrange · 29/09/2014 21:34

I was bullied in school, but as a 28 year old women with DC of my own I can see it was a childhood thing.

I been on social sites now for over 8 years and I haven't had any nasty or vindictive messages, they have not continued.

As I live in the same area our DC go to the same school and when I have a minor problem and spoke to them it has been sorted.

I have even been to coffee mornings and helped fund raise for one of my ex bully children who is serverly disabled.

MrsJossNaylor · 29/09/2014 21:35

Ok, so as well as explaining away your fishing/digging, can you explain your choice of language?

You variously refer to this woman as a "proper slapper" and a "gobby bint." Can you not see how misogynistic these phrases are, and why you're getting these responses?

OfficerVanHalen · 29/09/2014 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BadtzMaru · 29/09/2014 21:40

Definitely don't start arsing around on facebook using her name to try to "scare" her, you don't know how that will escalate and you could end up in trouble on harrassment charges. If she is so awful why are your friends still in contact with her anyway, is it just so you can all revel in how awful she is together?

guitarosauras · 29/09/2014 21:45

what would I do?

I'd remember that I'm a grown up and move on.

I was badly bullied for years too.

Shinysideup675 · 29/09/2014 21:57

Ok then, how about : she made her body freely available and revelled the attention from the boys. She has also been known to mouth off in an uncouth fashion, much to the annoyance of her long suffering neighbours. Better?

I suppose I am misogynistic. The definition is "intense dislike or mistrust of women". A definition that would accurately describe how, many years ago,
I felt about someone who, as I have said in my OP, tormented me both in and out of my own home. Hence the WWYD - not, please note, 'i am going to ...' So, basically, my providing a backstory and asking a question makes me appear both unhinged and immature. [shrug]

I asked the question here as I cant ask anyone IRL as it might lead to them badgering me to tell them who it is. Its a small place.

OP posts:
Shinysideup675 · 29/09/2014 21:59

FWIW, ive not actually bothered to see if she's even on FB, it was, as ive said, just a fleeting thought.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread