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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to my boyfriends cats

177 replies

Random1999 · 20/09/2014 16:20

Basically my boyfriend has 3 cats, all 3 go off for days on end (all female have had the snip so thats why they're allowed to), 2 of 3 are quite aggressive and scratch, bite and hiss at me. The longest theyve gone off is for a month we see them in the local woodland sometimes. I'm concerned because of what they might be bringing in, such as toxic plasmosis (which can cause miscarriage and im 15 weeks), they're semi wild as 2 of them were raised on the local farm and never indoors until now they only come in to eat and/or terrorise i cant stand them if im honest but put up with it until i caught pregnant now im asking my boyfriend to keep them out 24/7 and only bring them into the back porch for food at night i dont want them near me and FIL agrees its best.
my boyfriend however doesnt think its fair and is constantly throwing his toys out of his pram because of it yeah i know he loves them but seriously they've been seen licking slugs for christ sake and are always fighting with wild cats (lots of them around here) so who knows what they might have and pass on to me if they're around me all the time, AIBU? I might sound a bit precious but seriously theyre disgusting, they lick slugs, jump in the toilet for a drink and are always fighting with other strays and wild cats so who knows whats being passed around...

OP posts:
Original poster
Random1999 · 20/09/2014 22:37

omfg if i have to say it one more time... 1. baby was unplanned.

  1. i know the health protocols.
  2. i've made my decision.
So lets all just say thank you, have a nice day and let the thread die :) x
OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 20/09/2014 22:38

Posts in AIBU don't die, OP.

Post in Chat if you want it to disappear.

Original poster
Random1999 · 20/09/2014 22:41

Either way im hiding the thread and not commenting again so either PM me or chat among yourselves.

OP posts:
Somanyillustrations · 20/09/2014 22:43

Having seen your age from previous threads OP, I think that you have enough on your plate without the cats. However, I would say that your feckless boyfriend is the problem, not the cats. I would be asking serious questions as to his ability to take care of a 15 year old girlfriend and a baby based on his inability to sort a few cats out Hmm

HippyPottyMouth · 20/09/2014 22:49

They might be different with the baby. My BigFurry is a bitey cat, but when we brought little baby DD home he thought she was his kitten and he couldn't have been gentler with her. He stands still while she grabs his fur and pulls his ears, and simply wanders off (faster than she can crawl) once he's had enough.

GratefulHead · 20/09/2014 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

cindydog · 20/09/2014 23:37

If FIL agrees with you, catch them and bring the fuckers for a very long drive one way!

kali110 · 20/09/2014 23:46

Your bf should not have pets. He took three feral cats on that he did not have the time or energy to look after. Now you've moved in although i can understand slightly, they're going to be shipped to the rspca where they're most likely going to be put to sleep. Not nice.

MyFairyKing · 20/09/2014 23:51

I really hope the boyfriend won't get any more cats but I have a gut feeling that this will repeat itself. :(

JadeJ123 · 20/09/2014 23:57

You made up your decision within 5 minutes of the thread. You do realise you've basically given the older cat a death sentence as older cats usually spend ages in rescues as people want kittens and especially one that's feral she'll get put down and probably the other 2 as well. I hope the pair of you never get more pets as you're both highly irresponsible!

SolidGoldBrass · 21/09/2014 00:02

Get a hobby or a job or something else to get your head out of your arse.

LulaPalooza · 21/09/2014 02:18

Those of you giving the OP and her boyfriend a hard time might want to read her previous thread before passing judgement. She's 15, he's 17. Give the girl a break.

Bulbasaur · 21/09/2014 03:05

Pets are a lifetime commitment and you clearly knew what the cats were like before making the choice to have a baby with your OH.

Yes. Let's family plan around a cat. How very dare she have a baby when she has a cat. Would you rather her get an abortion for the sake of the cats? That has got to be the stupidest shit I've ever heard.

Yes, even if the cat gets put to sleep, it's tragic. But the fact of the matter is, the cat cannot be around the baby. There's not many options of getting the cat away from the baby, but a feral and aggressive cat cannot be around a small child. Cats can do serious damage, even if they are outside a small child's face is easily in reach if they jump to attack. My father was attacked by a feral cat completely unprovoked (or we couldn't figure out what set it off), it latched onto his arm and would not let go. You do not want that to be your child's face. It is more humane to put the cat to sleep than to drop it off and abandon it where it could starve or get eaten by wild animals.

There's just not many options for these cats. You can't keep aggressive animals around small children. It's irresponsible, and if you know an animal is aggressive and it attacks anyone, it's a legal liability. You don't need that right now when you're trying to get things sorted for the baby.

Her boyfriend obviously bit off more than he can chew by trying to take in 3 feral cats. But "should have's" are irrelevant to the current situation. Frankly she was well within her very reasonable right to put down her foot and make OH choose between her or the cats. I would not stay and raise my child in such conditions, I wouldn't even stay and live without a child in those conditions. He made the right choice by putting his family first. It is what it is, and hopefully they learn from this when they consider the next animal.

I doubt they'll be getting new animals anytime soon. A baby will be responsibility enough for a while.

jellybelly701 · 21/09/2014 03:51

random I will take all three. There's oodles of farms around here, I could find them all a home within a few weeks I'm sure. Until then I don't mind taking them off your hands and caring for them.

I could just have the older one up if you wanted to wait until November for the other two. You said you live near to me and I'm free all day tomorrow :)

lazydog · 21/09/2014 04:14

jellybelly701 That's fantastic! I'm hoping that the OP sees your offer... Even if she doesn't come back to this thread, would you please keep us updated? I have sympathy for both sides. I have a gorgeous, affectionate and completely un-litter-trainable young female cat who we've had to relegate to being an outdoor cat, even though she's affectionate and great in all other respects. Fortunately we have outbuildings and other barn cats for her to cuddle up with, and we spend a fortune on heating for them over the winter. Hopefully something similar can be found for these three...

lazydog · 21/09/2014 04:23

Forgot to add - we have another indoor cat and had a litter box for each, plus one "spare"... Covered and open topped... All varieties of litter. She'd come from a ferral mum and missed any early litter training, then, against what you'd expect, refused to go while outdoors and stored it up until she came back in!!! She just preferred carpet or beds to any brand of litter or dirt.

MexicanSpringtime · 21/09/2014 04:28

Random1999 I was looking for the much vaulted other threads and find that in another post you claim to have children already.

Are you real?

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 21/09/2014 04:52

1999 - blimey.

You do know there are services out there that will help a pregnant 15 yo don't you?

At 15, running from abuse, pregnant - I think your judgement of 'the best partner I could ever want' is probably a bit off kilter.

MexicanSpringtime · 21/09/2014 04:57

A thousand apologies, Random, I misread that other post.

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 21/09/2014 05:06

A link to Randoms other thread, I think people should read it before commenting on cat care.

Random

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 21/09/2014 05:14

Or this one Random2

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 21/09/2014 05:17

Random

You are a bright girl, that comes across on your other threads - just not so much on this one and tbh no one knew how young you were at the beginning.

I hope that you sort something out with JellyBelly and that you can get the care of the cats off your plate, you have more than enough going on without dealing with 3 ferral cats.

You're doing pretty well kiddo Flowers

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 21/09/2014 05:19

'Kiddo' - local term of affection to anyone under about 30 or a younger family member! My brother is still Kiddo, even though he's well old :)

Surfsup1 · 21/09/2014 05:47

Are feral cats not a problem for wildlife in England? I can't imagine anyone around here blinking at the idea that a feral cat should be euthanised. Better than being shot or poisoned.

sunflower49 · 21/09/2014 05:58

I made the same offer as jelly but I PM'd. I am an hour or so away but that doesn't matter to me, I drive long distances a lot and don't have an issue with that.

However I'm not near farms, I just have a lot of contacts (animal rehoming charities and individuals who find homes for unwanted animals). jelly you may be the better candidate, but whichever way I'm sure we can sort something out between us.
:)