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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to my boyfriends cats

177 replies

Random1999 · 20/09/2014 16:20

Basically my boyfriend has 3 cats, all 3 go off for days on end (all female have had the snip so thats why they're allowed to), 2 of 3 are quite aggressive and scratch, bite and hiss at me. The longest theyve gone off is for a month we see them in the local woodland sometimes. I'm concerned because of what they might be bringing in, such as toxic plasmosis (which can cause miscarriage and im 15 weeks), they're semi wild as 2 of them were raised on the local farm and never indoors until now they only come in to eat and/or terrorise i cant stand them if im honest but put up with it until i caught pregnant now im asking my boyfriend to keep them out 24/7 and only bring them into the back porch for food at night i dont want them near me and FIL agrees its best.
my boyfriend however doesnt think its fair and is constantly throwing his toys out of his pram because of it yeah i know he loves them but seriously they've been seen licking slugs for christ sake and are always fighting with wild cats (lots of them around here) so who knows what they might have and pass on to me if they're around me all the time, AIBU? I might sound a bit precious but seriously theyre disgusting, they lick slugs, jump in the toilet for a drink and are always fighting with other strays and wild cats so who knows whats being passed around...

OP posts:
TerribleMother · 21/09/2014 07:27

SGB, wind your neck in, might pull your head out of your arse? Takes a special kind of nasty to berate someone young who's facing the challenges the op is. Nothing unusual there though.

SayraT · 21/09/2014 07:31

Not read everything but just replying quickly about the toxoplasma. I am a research scientist and work on toxoplasma and related parasites. Cats do carry toxoplasma which can cause miscarriage in humans but cats only become infected with the parasite once and usually as a kitten. They only produce the parasite in their faeces for about 3 weeks.

You are more likely to get toxoplasmosis from eating under cooked meat than cat faeces.

Sunna · 21/09/2014 07:53

Yes. Let's family plan around a cat. How very dare she have a baby when she has a cat. Would you rather her get an abortion for the sake of the cats? That has got to be the stupidest shit I've ever heard.

This x 100

OP has difficulties enough facing her without the cat problem. Some people here seem to think cats are as important as humans, especially a baby.

They aren't.

GertyD · 21/09/2014 09:22

Just a thing here. I have known 2 pregnant ladies who loved cats, adored cats, had pictures and books and cat ornaments, right up until the moment of conception, and then suddenly they hated them. With a passion. All the things they liked about them were forgotten and all they saw were cat bums, fir, potential for worms, cat smells, potential fleas, dirt, cat eye bogeys etc etc. I dunno if the sudden and fierce despising of them was pregnancy related or not, but they certainly became pretty anti cat.

GertyD · 21/09/2014 09:23

And stayed that way.

MyFairyKing · 21/09/2014 09:35

I would expect a 17 year old (her boyfriend) to be a bit less selfish about leaving his pregnant young girlfriend to deal with his feral cats. It's, of course, not Random's fault. I think the boyfriend should shoulder the blame though, even at his age.

mommy2ash · 21/09/2014 10:06

i can't believe that people on here are actually telling her she is b u. would you really honestly have feral cats in a house with a newborn baby? if the ops boyfriend were to rehome them would you be lining up to take them as pets for your kids?

it isn't as simple as the op doesn't like the cats, they are unsanitary and have already showed a dislike to her. I wouldn't be risking my newborn in a situation like that.

OTheHugeManatee · 21/09/2014 12:04

Not 'let's family plan around a cat' but 'let's family plan full stop' Hmm

Squirrelsmum · 21/09/2014 12:22

Gosh, all the mad cat people are out in force tonight. I hope you all live on huge estates in the middle of nowhere and thank my lucky stars I don't live near such wanton harbourers of vermin. One cat next door would be bad enough, but 7,8,9? Intolerable!

In Australia I'd be hoping they were all kept indoors, feral cats are decimating our wildlife. Do you not have the same problems there? They kill the birds, lizards, frogs, our little marsupials. A lot of councils now have an indoor only policy and cats seen roaming will be caught and sent to the pound.

Mrsstarlord · 21/09/2014 12:27

Disclaimer: Only read the first page.

YABU

If the toiletting is an issue try feliway plug in defusers. That should stop them peeing everywhere.

Other than that put a cat flap in or leave a window open so they can come and go as they want.

Tell your other half that he needs to clean up after them.

But don't rehome them just because you have decided you don't like them and have the 'perfect excuse' now you're expecting

jellybelly701 · 21/09/2014 12:45

No word back from the OP so far, I didn't see that she has hid the thread so have PM'd her this morning. Hopefully she will reply :)

kali110 · 21/09/2014 12:50

Age shouldn't come into it. Ops bf shouldn't have taken the cats in if he didn't have the time to look after them. If op doesn't take up any of the posters offers on here then the poor cats will be put to sleep and that is sad as it isn't their fault as they've been left to do this for so long.

HavanaSlife · 21/09/2014 13:08

I think you have enough on your plate op without feral cats shitting all over the house!

If I remember rightly your bf isnt very old either 17? He obviously made a mistake taking on these cats, who hasnt at that age.

Hope someone on here is able to take them for you

specialsubject · 21/09/2014 13:17

she's 15 and pregnant. He's 17. They've known each other five minutes. It's not good however you slice it.

the cats have been left with a child and so are feral. They are now untrainable.

the baby that is coming into this situation will have enough problems without being covered in animal excreta. It's not the fault of the cats, but they are less important than the baby.

MN does seem to put ickle pussywoo and ickle doggy above human life. Bizarre.

jellybelly701 · 21/09/2014 13:42

I think people really need to back away from this thread now. There is a young vulnerable girl on the other side if this screen and some of the comments made are just not necessary.

For all you know they could have been together for a few years. Cut her some slack. She has had such a rough time recently and has come here for support on numerous issues and has been jumped on, accused and patronised every single time Of course she has also had some excellent advice but as I'm sure you all know its usually the bad comments that stick in your mind.

She's 15 and has already been through so much in her life, how about a bit of understanding and kindness?

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 21/09/2014 13:58

Only read the first page.

You are totally reasonable to want the cats away from you, your baby and food prep areas.

The cats need warm, safe housing. Can't you just set them up with a cosy place in a shed or outbuilding?

TonyThePony · 21/09/2014 16:35

To be fair, you are unlikely to develop toxoplasmosis as long as you wash your hands and don't directly handle their faeces... However, the fact that the cats are weeing and pooing everywhere (including the cooker!!!) is disgusting and has made me feel sick... so for that, I say YANBU.

edamsavestheday · 21/09/2014 16:52

Your boyfriend needs to know that your health visitor will NOT be impressed by cat faeces everywhere and if he doesn't sort it social services may well be called in. Hope everything works out for you.

mutternutter · 22/09/2014 07:11

Hope you are OK opBrew

PistolWhipped · 22/09/2014 09:01

Random, can I just say, I've read some of your posts in the past and you strike me as a bit of a fruit loop - in the very nicest of ways. You're hilarious and I know you really don't mean to be! Grin

PistolWhipped · 22/09/2014 09:01

Aaargh! No! I haven't read past the first page! I'm sorry if my last comment was inappropriate Sad Thanks

CrazyTypeOfIndifference · 22/09/2014 09:54

Feral cats that have lived that way for quite a while are pretty much untrainable.

I love cats, and have 2. But I wouldn't attempt to take in a feral cat and your bf was silly to try.

I would be taking them all to the RSPCA, and let them make the decision - if they can be rehomed, they will be.

19lottie82 · 22/09/2014 10:15

I am a cat lover, but as others have discussed, these aren't domestic "pets" they are semi feral animals. I really think you need to get your OH to get rid of them before the baby arrives. Either that or he imposes some very SERIOUS changes as to which areas of the house they are allowed in and the like.

PS LOL at the person who suggested a cat behavioural therapist! They have obviously never owned a cat :)

TheIronGnome · 22/09/2014 10:28

I HAVE owned a cat, but didn't know if a cat behavioural therapist existed! There are ways of calming cats and keeping them stress free, as well as ideas and methods for retraining... I'm sure there's a market in there somewhere! (If there isn't already)

All Lol's accepted Grin

PistolWhipped · 22/09/2014 12:53

Is the OP, okay? I'm worried about her.