AIBU to my boyfriends cats

[Random1999]

Basically my boyfriend has 3 cats, all 3 go off for days on end (all female have had the snip so thats why they're allowed to), 2 of 3 are quite aggressive and scratch, bite and hiss at me. The longest theyve gone off is for a month we see them in the local woodland sometimes. I'm concerned because of what they might be bringing in, such as toxic plasmosis (which can cause miscarriage and im 15 weeks), they're semi wild as 2 of them were raised on the local farm and never indoors until now they only come in to eat and/or terrorise i cant stand them if im honest but put up with it until i caught pregnant now im asking my boyfriend to keep them out 24/7 and only bring them into the back porch for food at night i dont want them near me and FIL agrees its best.
my boyfriend however doesnt think its fair and is constantly throwing his toys out of his pram because of it yeah i know he loves them but seriously they've been seen licking slugs for christ sake and are always fighting with wild cats (lots of them around here) so who knows what they might have and pass on to me if they're around me all the time, AIBU? I might sound a bit precious but seriously theyre disgusting, they lick slugs, jump in the toilet for a drink and are always fighting with other strays and wild cats so who knows whats being passed around...

Yeah, either the cats need to go, you need to invest time into litter training, or you need to decide if this is something that a suitable environment for a baby to be in. I wouldn't stick around in an environment like that without a baby. Something like that really is something that SS can pull you up on. Children cannot be living around constant animal waste (and will you be able to keep on top of the cats and baby if your bf obviously is not?).

We had to rehome our dog because he had severe anxiety when we adopted him and we just couldn't get him potty trained. Keeping him with huge changes, trying to potty train him, and take care of a baby would have been cruel to him. He really needed a quiet home with a strict routine. But more importantly, I couldn't risk our baby coming in contact with dog urine or feces because he was having stress accidents. That's not an environment you want a baby in.

If the cats are aggressive, that's also a huge issue. That's probably the most important issue. What happens when baby grabs their tail, startles them, falls on them?

Cats are animals. They will never be as important as a human child. Not ever.

Keep them if they can fit harmoniously with your house, but them being there first does not in any way, shape, or form, give them more importance or claim to the house.

No there is nowhere else for me to go ive had a word with him and hes compromised and said he will take one down to the RSPCA in the morning/monday (the eldest who is worst and we fear untrainable), keep the other 2 out the back while he tries to train the other two and if they werent using litter trays at all by november he'll be getting rid of those too, thank you everyone i respect all of your opinions and most of them helped alot :) x

Gosh, all the mad cat people are out in force tonight. I hope you all live on huge estates in the middle of nowhere and thank my lucky stars I don't live near such wanton harbourers of vermin. One cat next door would be bad enough, but 7,8,9? Intolerable!

Ah, Random That sounds like a good result. Fast turn around for your OH!

It's a shame they can't all stay together though... no chance of all 3 going to the RSPCA together? Or do they not seem to hang out very much as a group?

This should mean happier cats in a more suitable environment and happier you!

Yeah, that sounds like progress, hope your partner lives up to his promises.

unicycle, I used to live in the countryside and most farmers have big colonies of cats, who help to keep the vermin down.

Random I've read your other posts and I know your situation. Glad he's seen some sense. As others have said they are feral cats and not house cats - I doubt you'd get them house trained as adults. How about trimmed to get them remaining part of family but outside? Son perhaps removing the cat flaps and making sure they have sleeping arrangements and food outside. If they're fed outside that might encourage them to remain there: as someone up thread suggested there will be all sorts of suggestions online for 'cat kennels'.

I hope that perhaps as your pregnancy starts to be more 'real' the male members of family will realise that there really will be a baby, and perhaps start to see what needs to be done to make the house welcoming to him/her. It's hard enough to imagine for a pregnant mum and sometimes menfolk need prodding in that direction (see about a million other threads for that evidence!)

Best of luck
Keep posting

I am a cat person, and these are not indoor cats. Is there a shed or something where they could be given access to food, water and somewhere to sleep (maybe with heat pads for the winter)?

Our neighbours have happy, healthy cats whose beds are in a greenhouse - works for everyone.

sooooo..... old cat, not "trainable", scratches and bites, going to the RSPCA in the morning.

It will be euthanised, and probably within a month.

But sooooo much easier than making any sort of genuine attempt to arrange more sensible living conditions.

I absolutely love cats - I have two of my own and adore them!

However, YANBU - I wouldn't my baby being raised in a home where cats are allowed to shit down the side of the fridge and piss on top of the cooker! Just no.

The RSPCA will kill them. 99% sure. :(

I have PMd you, OP.

But sooooo much easier than making any sort of genuine attempt to arrange more sensible living conditions.

Yes, let's keep the cat where it can harm the baby or alternatively keep it locked outside where it will be miserable. Or did you have a better solution?

The OP does not have a workable situation right now. They are not her cats, they are her boyfriend's and he needs to choose between a safe and sanitary environment for the baby or the cats. He's making the right choice.

yanbu. glad you've got a solution now.
i adore cats but i'd find this untenable.

Not all of them would be euthanized and theres a possibility of OH's brother taking the two younger cats as they are more manageable and probably easier to train. I'd far rather a humane euthanization (sp) on an elderly cat which granted, isnt mine, than chancing my baby being smothered, attacked, ingesting animal poo and pee or my health visitor referring me to social services for neglect due to the amount of animal crap that often escapes me (behind the sofa, fridge, pee going through the spiral hobs on cooker so i only smell it but dont see it unless i pull everything out) and then me, rightly so losing my child because id be starting court cases if i walked into a young mothers house and saw it covered in shit, piss and dead rats (which have been left on the sofa more than once) yeah i clean it but its kind of hard when they can foul several areas in hours. So yes we made the right choice we are trying to find someone to take amber (oldest cat) before we have to take her to the rspca on monday but i doubt anyone will and if so, so be it!!

aimed at brainfidget

The cats will never be rehomed, can they go back to the farm? They will be PTS. I hope your partner never considers getting another pet.

No they cant go back to the farm and theres nothing wrong with him as a pet owner hes just not cut out to have feral cats, simple. Hes had cats and dogs (and even turtles before now) and been perfectly fine with them. hes just bitten off more than he can chew with trying to get the house in order, 3 feral cats and a baby on the way.

he's got until monday to rehome them and has decided if he cant rehome amber (eldest) by then she goes to the rspca, If he cant litter train the other two by november they also get rehomed or go to the rspca. most likely rehomed as they are younger and would make good companions for those with the time and effort to put in. We dont want them to have the "magic" needle but if its that against keeping them somewhere they are a danger to someone elses health well magic needle it is.

Bulbasaur,

I think there is clearly more sensible solutions here, that do not necessitate taking an old cat for almost certain euthanasia.

The OP has already indicated that they are mainly feral cats. What hope of them being "homed" then?

Why not clean up the house, so it ceases to be one big litter tray around the cooker (remember cats are habitual animals and will continue to use it as a toilet as long as it has not been properly cleaned).

Use lemon and other cat deterrents in their inside toileting areas.

Erect a safe, dry wooden shed with catflap in the garden.

Remove cat flaps from the house to restrict access.

Ensure cats are wormed and vaccinated.

I am sure there are other measures that can be taken too, should the OP care to go googling and thinking about it.

There is everything wrong with him as a pet owner to let a situation get so bad.

Clean up the house? lmao im cleaning all day every bloody day that they're in doors! nothing works to deter them, the only thing that does is putting cleaning products down the toilet (such as bleach) And even then whats that to do with pissing and shitting everywhere! yes they are mainly feral but im trying to see if anyone will rehome them so they can become mainly out door (same as now) but possibly become more tolerant i dont know ive no experience in training cats and if they're put down so be it it isnt my responsibility to look after them because ive tried my best to compromise, they arent even mine!

Nice for some to be able to afford hundreds of pounds on building or having a shed built but we cant afford that right now.
Call me heartless but i think rspca is best euthanized or otherwise, Im trying to find someone to take them on the understanding of the situation to hopefully make them a bit more indoor friendly although they thrive primarily outdoors.

You've had a hard time on this thread OP. I love cats, but Christ I couldn't bring a baby into a home where cats were shitting and pissing EVERYWHERE.

Your DP has been very irresponsible to take 3 cats that he can't handle. Cleaning shit and piss off the cooker is not a normal way to live. It's your DP that you should be angry at, these cats don't know any better because they haven't been taught to.