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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to my boyfriends cats

177 replies

Random1999 · 20/09/2014 16:20

Basically my boyfriend has 3 cats, all 3 go off for days on end (all female have had the snip so thats why they're allowed to), 2 of 3 are quite aggressive and scratch, bite and hiss at me. The longest theyve gone off is for a month we see them in the local woodland sometimes. I'm concerned because of what they might be bringing in, such as toxic plasmosis (which can cause miscarriage and im 15 weeks), they're semi wild as 2 of them were raised on the local farm and never indoors until now they only come in to eat and/or terrorise i cant stand them if im honest but put up with it until i caught pregnant now im asking my boyfriend to keep them out 24/7 and only bring them into the back porch for food at night i dont want them near me and FIL agrees its best.
my boyfriend however doesnt think its fair and is constantly throwing his toys out of his pram because of it yeah i know he loves them but seriously they've been seen licking slugs for christ sake and are always fighting with wild cats (lots of them around here) so who knows what they might have and pass on to me if they're around me all the time, AIBU? I might sound a bit precious but seriously theyre disgusting, they lick slugs, jump in the toilet for a drink and are always fighting with other strays and wild cats so who knows whats being passed around...

OP posts:
Methe · 20/09/2014 16:21

Yes yabu and yes you are being precious!

Original poster
Random1999 · 20/09/2014 16:22

really? I'm just concerned about bacteria more than anything...

OP posts:
Original poster
Random1999 · 20/09/2014 16:24

If i am being unreasonable what do i do? because they make my skin crawl and I get extremely anxious especially when they're let up on the kitchen counters and my bed!

OP posts:
LoopyLoopyLoopy · 20/09/2014 16:24

yes, YABU

WorraLiberty · 20/09/2014 16:24

seriously theyre disgusting, they lick slugs, jump in the toilet for a drink and are always fighting with other strays and wild cats so who knows whats being passed around

Not much different to having a toddler really Grin

YABU to worry this much though I think

PiperIsOrange · 20/09/2014 16:25

The cats needs to go before the baby is born.

I would be very concerned about the cats biting the baby.

PiperIsOrange · 20/09/2014 16:25

The cats needs to go before the baby is born.

I would be very concerned about the cats biting the baby.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 20/09/2014 16:25

Toxoplasmosis is not an issue of you are not dealing with their poo - emptying litter trays, for example.

You are asking your boyfriend to treat his cats badly - they are used to being able to be indoor cats - ask yourself if you would want to bring up a child with a man who could casually shrug off his responsibilities to a living creature whom he has previously cared for.

Original poster
Random1999 · 20/09/2014 16:26

Ok thank you now I know i AM being unreasonable as im having mixed views off family, Can someone give me any advice to make me calm my tits? my boyfriend wont kick them down either off the bed, sofa, kitchen units or even the cooker, which suspiciously always smells of urine (its an electric cooker with metal spiral like hobs so pee always drops down onto the elements and trays..)

OP posts:
Original poster
Random1999 · 20/09/2014 16:26

no you dont understand, they're NOT used to being indoor cats!

OP posts:
msrisotto · 20/09/2014 16:27

You don't need to worry about toxoplasmosis. I doubt you touch them, let alone touch their faeces which you would need to to be at risk

ContactIssue · 20/09/2014 16:27

I thought the toxic whatsit could only cause miscarriage if you handled their poo?

I agree that they need to go before the baby is born though.

Original poster
Random1999 · 20/09/2014 16:27

I think i do deal with alot of poo as they piss and shit bloody everywhere i pulled out our fridge the other week to find about half a tonne (exaggeration) of cat poop behind there

OP posts:
Smilesandpiles · 20/09/2014 16:28

Your child will do things a thousand times worse than that and bring in more disgusting things than a bit of bacteria.

Original poster
Random1999 · 20/09/2014 16:29

I dont touch them but they pee and poo everywhere even once on my bed (pee not poo) If my boyfriend could stop them being aggressive and maybe flea and worm them (yes they have fleas) and teach them to use a designated litter tray i dont think id mind everything just feels unhygienic and im not the cleanest of people myself

OP posts:
APotNoodleandaTommy · 20/09/2014 16:29

Toxic plasmosis?
Female cats having 'had the snip'?
Hmm
Biscuit

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 20/09/2014 16:29

It would be an utterly reasonable compromise for you to allow the cats to stay, but to insist that they are not allowed on the cooker or worktop - that is not hygienic.

TheIronGnome · 20/09/2014 16:29

I hope that NOONE is kicking the cats at all...

If they will be a danger to the baby then they need to go. When I say danger I mean biting and scratching, not in terms of bacteria. Too many people worry ridiculously about bacteria IMHO.

Justyouwaitandsee · 20/09/2014 16:30

Hi Random - I think you should be fine around the cats as long as you avoid going near the litter tray (if they use one) and taking usual precautions such as washing your hands if you touch or handle them.

Has your midwife tested you for toxoplasmosis? I think that is meant to be offered to everyone who lives with cats in early pregnancy.

PiperIsOrange · 20/09/2014 16:30

2 of 3 are quite aggressive and scratch, bite and hiss at me.

That's the most important bit.

PrettyPictures92 · 20/09/2014 16:30

Yabu, sorry. Cats, whether indoor or outdoors become part of the family. It's not that nice to ask him to keep them outside. You won't catch anything as you're not cleaning litter trays either. And cats on beds/sofas/counters aren't a problem if you clean the counters etc properly. If you don't like them stay away from them, that's the only thing I can suggest

WorraLiberty · 20/09/2014 16:31

Keep the kitchen and bedroom doors shut, and leave the poo cleaning up to your DP. Or wear rubber gloves?

Original poster
Random1999 · 20/09/2014 16:31

Yes theyve been neutered/sterilized as they were at the farm (they kept sleeping with strays and dropping kittens at the barn and there were too many so the farmer had them done), im sick of cleaning up piss and shit off the cooker and out of the carpets which is whats worrying me as they're so dirty both physically and in habit

OP posts:
Somanyillustrations · 20/09/2014 16:31

Do people really rehome animals when they have babies?! Hmm

HeartShapedBox · 20/09/2014 16:31

I wouldn't KICK them down from anywhere either Hmm
I'm hoping that's just an expression.

on another note, you knew he had cats before you got pregnant, he can't just abandon them, you know.