To be incredibly pissed off at male sperm donors..

[LexiVexiBear]

Who only offer their 'services' if it's through natural insemination (I.e having sex with the woman) or the woman performing a sex act on them!

I more than likely am but just need a rant! A dear friend of mine and her girlfriend have decided that they would like nothing more than to start a family but since they cannot afford IVF they have went down the route of sperm donation and artificial insemination. The thing is most of the 'donors' they have found that are in the same location (or close) and contacted more or less demand NI which really isn't an option for these two ladies!

I'm sorry I know people have preference and some women pick NI, nothing wrong with that as it can be more affective that artificial insemination but honestly in my opinion these men are completely sleazy and are preying on desperate women for sex! They claim to be offering their services because they want to help and make a difference yet they only want sex?!

Yes, there are numerous sperm donors but unless the women picks NI I don't think men like this should be allowed to take advantage of women or couples who are desperate for a baby!

Gosh. It never even occurred to be that this was a 'thing'. I must be really naïve but I think I alway assumed it was done artifically.

Certainly, if the woman wanted it done through penetrative sex in the hope of a better chance, and the man agreed, then thst would be there busines.

But are there really men out there 'benevolently' offering their sperm but only on the proviso that they get to put it in there themselves? That's bonkers.

I'm not illiterate, honestly.

OMG. Never heard of this being a stipulation. How sleazy.

These men do know that they would then be the legal father of any child don't they? With all the financial responsibility that goes with that.

I'm sure I read in a magazine once about this and one of the ladies ended up running off with the man.

Why aren't they going through a clinic?

Male sperm donors as opposed to....?

But yes, predatory and sleazy, if they truly wanted to help they'd offer both options rather than just sex.

I dont think many people would do this though (to save s few 100 ) due to high risk of infection.
Iui isnt very expensive

Friend has just had a muck lovely little boy this way. Her life has been enriched and this little boy is loved by so many people. The sperm donor allowed this. She wouldn't be pissed off with him just grateful for his gift. Her £500 for the sperm was the best thing she ever bought. Her little boy is such a cutie and at 6 months you just want to hug him... He smiles and giggles at you...

Much not muck

Male sperm donors as opposed to...?

OMFG I had no idea whatsoever that this was even a "thing".

Sleazy fucking nasty bastards.

Can't they go through a clinic? (Don't know much about this).

You have to pay £500 AND agree to get fucked by someone you don't want to get fucked by?

Bargain

Erm what? ! This is a thing

Your last paragraph makes no sense.

Can't they go to a clinic?

Are they insisting on a Std check?

Tbh, while I certainly can't imagine why someone would want to go through this method in order to conceive, I do think that it's a bit and irresponsible and, dare I say it, unethical to seek out a sperm donor in such an unofficial manner.

I'm guessing that these "donors" are probably found through some kind of unofficial advertising means and that these means perhaps exist in order to circumvent the law on anonymity.

So while men offering their "services" in this way are somewhat questionable, the women who find these men are also bu not to go through more official means.

Makes no sense at all. If you were willing to shag a stranger to get the sperm you would just meet a guy in the pub for free, wouldn't you.

I don't believe a word of it.

It is and one questions the movtives of such men who only want natural insemination.

I don't understand, you say they can't afford IVF, isn't that just for people who can't conceive by 'normal' methods I.e. introducing sperm into the vagina by penetrative sex or a turkey baster?
Why would she consider painful IVF procedures if they aren't needed?

Clinics are expensive. There are message boards to find willing donors.

Clinics prefer to carry out IVF even on fertile women as it has higher chances of success than the other methods.

It's not illegal - the law on donor ID only applies to frozen sperm for some bizarre reason, not "freshly" delivered whether via a turkey baster or "natural insemination". These guys sound like total creeps though.

The poster who said that outside of an official clinic, any other arrangement leaves the man open to being sued for paternity at a later date and being liable for child support is absolutely correct (I have lesbian friends who have conceived via IUI both through clinics and using turkey basters and they looked into these legal issues very carefully before going ahead).

The reason for using frozen sperm (other than the husband's/partner's) in official clinics is to allow for 3 months between donation and HIV testing.

If I was your friends, if a clinic is definitely too expensive, I'd either go for seeing if I could find a male friend prepared to help out (using the good old turkey baster method, not "natural insemination") or look into going to Denmark - I believe IUI is cheaper there. Because of the legal issues, the prospective mother and the friend providing sperm have to trust one another 100%.