To ask if anyone HASN'T done the whole Santa and Tooth Fairy thing?

[mrsHawk1ns]

Not saying I won't with my DS's once they're old enough, but was just interested to see if there is anyone out there who hasn't done it, and just been honest from the start that they don't exist?!

Magic my arse, it's the presents they want!

Sure, all kids love presents, but I still clearly remember the thrill of feeling like something magical would happen at my house and the absolute joy of thinking that those presents had been delivered by Santa and his reindeers (or kangaroos when we moved to Australia).

I can remember how magical the lead up to xmas was a child most of childhood crap i wouldnt take that away from my dcs would be pissed of someone else did

my dds still believe and like to track santa on the Norad app.
they also believe in fairies.

but Santa only brings 1 present and thats it. we dont celebrate or have a tree or special food etc

Mine believed in Santa - when DD1 asked I always said
'when you stop believing in Santa he stops coming'

She asked me again when she had started secondary school and (as I thought she might have the mickey taken) I told her the truth - and she was disappointed but because she wanted to believe it was real. And she isn't scarred for life and we still pretend for 7 yo DD2...
I do sometimes feel a bit when DD2 says things like why do we get you and daddy a present and you don't give us anything - to which I tell her she gets enough from Santa !!!

They both also loved stories about pixies, brownies and toys coming to life at night etc - no difference really ...

Who's to say who is right or wrong, it's a personal choice isn't it.

Agree absolutely.

But speaking from the experience of once being a child myself and believing in Santa, there was nothing to equal that sheer joy and excitement going to bed on Christmas Eve awaiting Father Christmas. I'm glad my parents did it for me as I do for mine.

And speaking for myself as a child who always believed Santa was a fun make-believe, there was nothing to equal that sheer joy and excitement going to bed on Christmas Eve.

Seriously, someone mentioned satsumas and chocolate coins in an early post and I got tingles from the memory of that Christmas morning 'what's in my stocking?' excitement. I can't count Christmas eves where I simply couldn't sleep with anticipation.

There are so many elements to a wonderful Christmas that are going to be different from family to family. For me it was about getting the extended family together, time together with my close family in our pjs, the magic of pretty fairy lights and sparkly decorations, the excitement of giving and getting gifts, playing boardgames, preparing and eating a big multiple course meal together.

For other people the elements will be different, like going to church, or taking a long walk, or believing in a literal Father Christmas while young. I don't mind what other people do, but I get a bit annoyed by people acting as if there is only one way that will lead to a 'magical' experience for children.

Love the fairy doors Lyrasmam, we have a few from an aunty in Ireland.
This is where you can get your Fairy Door and they deliver!!

Our faries come out when the dcs have done their scales and arpeggios- they are very musical and love to dance.

Must try them with the raisins, but rather think they will look too much like rabbit poo for the fairies to be interested.

The fairies in our house love riding the unicorns at night, and sometimes move things about as they are very naughty.

( farewellfigure, hi, afaik, The flying blue man is Krishna)

PMSL at Santa being a gateway drug to all kinds of other stupid beliefs.

I'm gobsmacked at the number of references on this thread and elsewhere on Mn to children going to secondary school still believing in FC, or parents telling them just before they go so they won't be teased. Is this really as widespread as it seems from Mn?

When would you say was an average age to stop believing?

Me too rusticated, who knew so many children were that gullible unquestioning? Even my dippy DS had worked out how irrational and implausible it was by the time he was 4.

My parents didn't "do" FC or the TF in terms of pretending it was real. I got a stocking and money under my pillow for teeth, but I always knew it was actually them and FC and TF were stories. I still thought it was a magical time. Loved the story, got involved in embellishing it. Was a bit gobsmaked by my friends who believed it (but was warned not to tell, so didn't). Personally I thought it was a bit magical that my parents would do something like a stocking, not sure why it should only seem wonderful if it's FC.

I do the same with my children. They're still young and a bit unsure whether I'm telling the truth about it actually being their father and me. But they love Christmas eve and the excitement of thir stocking and they can't wait for their teeth to fall out ().

I don't really see the "magic" of them totally believing that some parents talk about. One of my daughters really believed the Cloud Babies existed for a while and was exceedingly disappointed when I said they didn't. Equallly another daughter still doesn't believe the earth isn't flat, no matter how often I show her globes etc. She just doesn't believe that can be true! It's amusing, but hardly magical. I don't feel like she was somehow better off in her belief or had lost something when I told her the truth. They'll swap one belief for another. Their new beliefs will hopefully help them navigate the world more accurately. But it won't stop their imaginations.

What? Their not real? I am a sucker for Christmas, as a nanny I go along with the parents wishes. As a parent I won't lie if they ask, so until then it's all "real"

(I haven't read the whole thread - apologies if it has moved on).

We have never done FC / TF either - and I love Christmas. I don't think Christmas morning is less fantastic because the DCs know who put the presents under the tree.

Theres something about Santa that I don't get. I was mortified when I found out and confused about why he didn't give poor people what they needed if he was so good. I've got Aspergers which may or may not be relevant.

I play along when around children though.

I was a sensitive child (still am pretty sensitive) and may have undx AS, so I'm not trying to say all children feel this way. YMMV.

My older sister told me about Santa and showed me where she had found the presents but said for me not to tell Mum and Dad that wed seen them. I can't remember how old I was. After that year I felt under quite a lot of pressure to 'keep believing' and the way films (like Miracle on 34th Street) made not believing feel like a bad thing, or I was a bad person. It reminds me about His Dark Materials and how innocence/ignorance is lauded above wisdom and experience. I didn't like, still don't like the idea of lying which got more and more elaborate as kids get older. I felt like I was being duped and patronised after a certain point. My parents weren't meaning it to be a bad experience, they just didn't want me to spoil it for younger brothers and sisters (and I didn't) unaware that my older sister had already enjoyed showing me the big reveal.

That's not to say that Christmas wasn't fun and exciting and I enjoyed helping my mum and being part of the secret once it was out in the open that I knew.

But I don't want to do the Santa thing. DH does, he loves Tolkien's letters to Father Christmas. So I think we will do the thing but not play the "Santa is really real" card, and always have a sense that it is make-believe. As others have said, this isnt the same as telling children that Santa is a fake and encouraging them to tell their friends. It just means that we'll treat it like other imaginative play. My son doesn't have to believe that dinosaurs still really exist to have fun playing them. I don't feel the need to say "but its not real" any more than after watching "How to Train your Dragon" but I also wont be going out of my way to make him believe it is real. He's just turned 2 years and isn't very verbal, I don't know if this year or next year would be his first year of understanding Christmas anyway.

When it comes to other children, I would take the approach I would about religions that "Other families have different beliefs and it is kind to respect them".

What I (still) feel bad and guilty about is when my parents realise I'm not doing the "Santa is really real" thing with my child(ren) as I think they'll be disappointed.

All complicated because we're not Christian either - Agnostic/Atheist with Pagan philosophy about life (though understand it in a metaphorical rather than literal way) so we have to develop our own family traditions over Christmas/Yuletide that'll be a blend of the family traditions each of us grew up with and our own ideas.

Incidentally, I don't think its so much that santa is a gateway drug to all sorts of other stupid beliefs... so much as when they discover that he isn't real, it is a key to start unpicking other beliefs.

AS I mentioned SpiritedWolf that's the approach we took - enjoying Santa as story/imaginary play. It's worked fine with our two DC, and tbh I'm surprised so many feel the need to take it further to the "really real" level. I'm sure this must be a bit of a recent thing, as I doubt my parents or grand-parents took it all so seriously. Back then more sense of it being a bit of fun for the kids?

Please don't restart this old thread, MNetters (unless you really want to) but I just saw I got a reply here from Maisyblue and was a bit puzzled (have been busy and not logged in since Thurs). Then I saw what the misunderstanding was: I had written my comment in reply to SaucyJack and not to Maisyblue. Hope that clears up the confusion for Maisyblue (whom I thought I was agreeing with anyway!) I'm not bothered by what people believe or don't believe - our family and friends have both the "Santa" and "non Santa" camps and we ask in advance which "custom" they are following. However, one important thing about doing the whole "Santa" custom is to make sure you don't use the same wrapping paper for Santa as you do for other people/other occasions. Children are very astute, ha ha!

I loved the whole Father Christmas thing as a kid and I don't remember the exact point where I figured out it wasn't real but I certainly wasn't devastated to know the truth. I fully intend to do this with my kids (despite being an atheist).

I had a friend who's parent's managed to keep up her belief in Father Christmas until she was 12 years old. All of us (her friends) had of course realised the truth a few years earlier but no one ever said anything to spoil it for her - honestly I look back and remember how decent a bunch of 11-12 year old children can be. I think we all missed having that bit of magic belief. Then one day a teacher at school realised she didn't "know" and told her the truth along with teasing her for still believing. I was so angry at that miserable old cow, who does that for no reason? (it wasn't part of any lesson or anything). We were all angry at that teacher.

Interestingly, my inlaws are very religious and do not do the Father Christmas (or Harry Potter!!) thing at all, it makes me sad actually. I will be making it clear that I DO want to do the Father Christmas thing with my kids and if any of them spoil it there will be hell (yes the hell I don't believe in) to pay! I don't understand the harm from this little bit of magic in a child's life -they grow up all to soon anyway.