To ask if anyone HASN'T done the whole Santa and Tooth Fairy thing?

[mrsHawk1ns]

Not saying I won't with my DS's once they're old enough, but was just interested to see if there is anyone out there who hasn't done it, and just been honest from the start that they don't exist?!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf - Also shock at the poster who thinks life is ten years of magic and the rest is harsh / mundane reality. I hope every single year of my DCs' lives is full of discovery and wonder
that's not actually what I said is it?
I said you have about 10 years when they will believe in any crazy stuff (the crazy stuff in this case being a man coming down the chimney delivery gifts), of course everyone wants their child's whole life to be great but I think it is reasonable to accept that after about the first 10 years they won't believe in Fc or fairies and once they reach adulthood they do have to live in the real world, which is why I think it is nice to go a bit ott with the FC/fairy stuff

Well aren't you all a barrel of joyful laughs Poor kids

scouse

Revoltingpeasant ......I'm not having a go, just curious! as an atheist did you not think that celebrating "Christmas" was a bit pointless and maybe hypocritical?

Oh dear, I hate to break it to all of you but you do realise that for children the real magic of Xmas is getting presents!!! Do you think they really care who brings them? Of course not! Do you think that if any of your fervent young believers in FC were told that unless they recanted they wouldn't get presents that they would hold firm for a nano second? Of course not!

Magic my arse, it's the presents they want!

HTH

But to be serious mine just seemed to work it out by themselves when they were very little, admittedly I didn't go to great lengths to convince them otherwise. But when I told DS that there weren't monsters under his bed because monsters weren't real he very quickly extrapolated that to fairies, FC, magic etc. and he certainly isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer!

Thanks Maisy for giving me an excuse to let Tim explain it much better than I could and in the medium of song!

I don't mind what Atheists, (joyless or otherwise), choose to believe. I do mind that some think it's their "duty" to inform my dc that God, or FC or the tooth fairy doesn't exist. "BECAUSE IT'S LIES!" (fully aware I am grouping God in with the folkloric stuff- the irony is not lost on me)

I don't mind what Christians, (joyless or otherwise), choose to believe. I do mind that some think it's their "duty" to inform my dc that God, or FC or the tooth fairy do exist. "BECAUSE IT'S THE TRUTH!"

Works both ways Down

Absolutely mothership. Live and let live, and teach tolerance. AND show Tim Minchin videos (especially the Christmas song and Storm) because he is amazing!

Mothership that is one awesome song.

The irony is, that while I've been banging on throughout this thread about 'the magic of Christmas' and how I can't BELIEVE that people don't 'do' Father Christmas, my family and I are currently having a silent simmering row about where DS, DH and myself are going to stay for Christmas...ie in which household. That song has made me cry because it doesn't matter a stuff whether I stay with my Mum or my sister... it just matters that we'll all be together and DS will be among the people whom he loves the most. I guess it wouldn't really matter if FC came or not, as long as we're all there. Presents would be nice obviously.

Sodding sentimental song. I feel like that song was my 'ghost of Christmas present' or something.

Us! We play along with the stories but that's exactly it a nice story and game we can play.
We're also very careful to tell our children that other people believe it's real so to not tell them the truth.

Magic my arse, it's the presents they want!

Well, quite!

farewell Send everyone in your family that song and they will all realise that none of the squabbling matters! - But seriously I hope it all gets resolved.

That song pretty much nails Christmas for me, I was RC by birth and indoctrination and am now atheist by choice and I love Christmas! I'm lucky that my family is pretty straight forward, no big rows or drama, I love presents, giving and getting, the food, the songs even the tinsel, DH always goes a bit over the top with the decos, it's great!

But FC wasn't made a big deal of in my childhood and it has never affected my enjoyment and I know my children don't enjoy it any less that those who believed in FC.

Thanks for the idea Mother. It's such a stupid thing. We want to stay with my mum, but my sister wants us at her house so we'll all be together. She lives 5 minutes away from DM's house so we'll all be there on the day anyway! Never mind. It will all get resolved. We very rarely, well never really argue so it won't be a problem.

We love Christmas too. Can't wait!

We hadn't really decided what to do, because I am American (so we do Santa) and DH is from southern Germany, where the Christ child brings presents. When DD was 3, the first time she could have really understood any of the stories, she was utterly terrified of Santa (when we saw him in shops, etc.), so it seemed cruel to push it. At one point she so insisted that he not come, I took the phone, pretended to call the North Pole, and canceled Santa.

When we actually had presents, we were in Germany, and she was quite content to think the Christ child had brought them. (We do not have any religious beliefs, so we don't teach her about Jesus, making this all the stranger.)

So now I try to say, "What do you think? We'll have to wait and see. . ." because I think kids really enjoy believing, but obviously I don't want her to be terrified needlessly.

PoirotsMoustache I know its real really, but shhh, fully grown adults can't admit to that on a public forum

We've gone along with it all, enjoying putting up stockings on mantle-piece and putting out a mince pie, beer, and a carrot for Rudolf. Have also loved reading "The night before Christmas" and also watching "A Christmas Carol" on TV on Christmas Eve, or other classic Christmas movies.
Have been less convincing as a tooth fairy as I keep forgetting, and then had to leave a little note that I'd been on my hols for a week or two
But what I'm saying is we let it gradually evolve into story ... this approach has worked pretty well for us, dd has gradually realised they are stories (but still fond of fairies), ds has occasionally asked if Santa's real, and I try to just say "well, what do you think?"
I feel it's good to believe (a bit) in stories. They are important things, both in childhood and generally through life.

Whew, VeganCow, you had me worried for a minute there!

I'm pretty sure I never really believed in FC when I was little. We still did all the stuff like writing lists, putting up stockings, putting out the mince pie, etc, but I always knew the stocking was filled by my mum and my uncle scoffed the mince pie. It was a fun game. An exciting part of Christmas like putting up decorations and sending cards. I will do the same with dd. She will know he isn't real but we will do all the good bits just for the fun of it.

I genuinely never realised so many people actually truly believed he was real and took the whole thing so seriously.

well my oldest is 5 and she thinks their is a santa school started it soo i let it go but i tell her that santa only brings one present at christmas mummy and daddy get the rest

My parents didn't believe in lying to kids so they were always honest about these things. With my children I have left it open. I say things like "some people like to think..." or "you might come across a story....". We say the same things about religion and the bible mind you!

DD, now 6, is quite clever and never quite believed in FC or TF (facts didn't add up) and when she queried I would listen to her arguments and ask her what she thought, given the facts. DS1 (4) is not quite as sharp and believes in it all. It came in jolly handy when I needed the dummy fairy to pay him a visit (my goodness was that effective!). I have asked DD to keep some of the mystery for his sake and she both enjoys indulging him and in the same breath helping him think through the logic and pointing out the incongruities. It is quite sweet. You can have a bit of the magic without actually lying.

So, basically we keep the essence of the myth and let the truth come of its own accord.

We did Santa and the tooth fairy. It definitely added extra joy when DD was younger. She also loved tracking Santa on Norad and would get very excited about it.

I told her that Santa didn't exist before she went to senior school as I didn't want her teased.

We still put a pound coin under her pillow when her teeth fall out. There are only three left now...

Gosh, I didn't know people felt so strongly about this!

I was told Father Christmas believed but I just gradually realised when I was about 7/8 it was impossible and found it funny! I wasn't traumatised, although I might have if I hadn't got presents.

As others have said Christmas is a magical time with or without FC. Fairy lights and reindeer and snow even fake - crisp, cold winter evenings and mulled wine and Christmas markets. I love Christmas. :) I don't think I'll tell mine FC is real but just have it as a wee story.

Well we went to Lapland and met Father Christmas in a cabin which we got to in a sleigh through a firey torchlit dark forest so he is actually real.
:)

Late to the party, but FWIW, I think it is perfectly reasonable to not do Santa and TF with your kid. if your child happens to tell another and that child in turn asks their parents if Santa is real, those parents can choose to continue with the story, or to tell the truth. Kids will believe anything their parents say (unless they are already like 8 or 10), so it is unlikely to 'spoil' xmas or the TF for them. I think it is only adults that believe that it takes the 'magic' away for kids. They still get to jump around ecstatically and push over the tree and tear through wrapping paper and cry because they DID NOT WANT THE GREEN ONE I SAID I WANTED THE YELLOW ONE HOW COULD YOU GET IT WRONG I HATE YOU I HATE CHRISTMAS!!!!!