To ask if anyone HASN'T done the whole Santa and Tooth Fairy thing?

[mrsHawk1ns]

Not saying I won't with my DS's once they're old enough, but was just interested to see if there is anyone out there who hasn't done it, and just been honest from the start that they don't exist?!

But I don't think anyone does try to burst anyone else's bubble, dailygrowl - or have they, in your experience? In mine, parents whose children don't believe in the reality of FC are generally quite careful about telling them to be sensitive, and that other people believe differently. I certainly can't think of anyone I know who bangs a drum against Santa, and encourages their children to do likewise. In fact, it's been more often the case in my experience that parents who 'do' FC seem to react with anger, incomprehension and accusations of being a killjoy/childhood ruiner /the Richard Dawkins of all things Christmassy when something that indicates we do things differently comes up.

dailygrowl ......please! Nobody said that believing in Father Christmas or the tooth fairy helps them face the harsh realities if life. Who has said that. I really wish I hadn't
used those particular words now because they seem to be getting deliberately misconstrued. Sooner or later children when they grow up have to face a few of "life's knocks" to word it differently. I agree! Father Christmas, the tooth fairy, Noddy and big ears, the tele tubbies or any other child like thing won't make a damned difference. What I was saying was , what harm is there in giving them a bit of innocent fun until they do grow up and experience the knocks of life. why is that hard to understand.

I don't think that parents can really anticipate how much discretion their kids will exercise WRT Santa. Even very nice, thoughtful kids might find themselves drunk with power and spilling the beans, just for the thrill of it.

What I think Maisyblue is saying is we have about 10 years as kids when we can believe in any crazy stuff we like versus a whole lifetime as adults having to face jobs, bills and all the bad stuff in life. If you can give your kids 10 years of magic before the 60+ years of boring everyday life then why not.

I don't think anyone actually thinks that belief in Santa at age 7 will help you face redundancy at age 42

I refuse to do Father Christmas. Nursery and school have introduced it, but I think DS notices I never mention it. I tell him who presents are from. DD is still a bit too young to care.

I can't be doing with it. It wasn't so bad when we were younger, but like a lot of things it seems to have become a massive, over-sentimentalised bag of shite. And the gateway drug to all kinds of other stupid beliefs.

DH won't let me tell the children outright that it's not true though.

Me,there's no lieying to the children in this house.if they go around telling other kids,well,they re telling the truth.not a problem for atheist to say whatreligious people believe in are just stories(example here on this thread),so shouldn't be a problem when the opposite happens

youwish - as an atheist I am very careful to make sure that my daughter doesn't tell her religious friends that god is not real and the bible or whatever is just made up stories.

TheLovelyBoots, in my experience it's the kids who used to believe in FC and suddenly find out it's not true that are more likely to go around telling other children because they feel powerful and all of a sudden 'older' than the believers. (Maybe also in some cases because they feel a bit sad/ambivalent about it.)

Obviously, only going on my own observations here, but IMO children who've never believed in FC are used to the idea that other people think different things, and don't see it as evidence that believers are 'babies' or as a new and disillusioning piece of info to convey around the playground.

(I'm a bit taken aback by the ages of believing children mentioned on Mn, though! I think I was six, and others in my class were figuring it around the same time, though I was probably the youngest...)

Well put Nancy75...... of course it won't make a blind tap whether they believed or not, in the big scheme of things it doesn't really matter, but, when they are young and innocent let them have that bit of fun. It doesn't do them any harm....it's a bit of a shit world out there which they are going to inherit. Let them have their fun while they can.

We will be doing Santa with DD who is 2. My Mam kept it up for years and would still be doing it now if we were still at home.

DD also has a fairy door outside her room and says goodnight and good morning to Fairy Arabella every day and occasionally leaves her a raisin. Fairies love raisins, but can't eat cheesey puffs or they will turn orange!

I agree with Nancy and Maisy. There's only so many years that the human brain can abide such fantasy. I'd like them to enjoy it.

That's lovely iylasmum.....how lovely for your DD...

youwish if one of your dcs told my ds there was no FC, then you stood up for them by saying 'they're only telling the truth' I would have a serious problem with that. Like I said upthread, live and let live, each to their own etc. If you want to 'do' FC then do it, and if not, don't. If you want to do it and your children know it's you all along, then fine (although to be honest I can't really see the point in that). However bursting other children's bubbles is cruel and totally unnesecary. Why would you do that?

I was waiting for someone to come on here and say FC was invented by Coca Cola, which is why it's evil consumerism and should be avoided at all cost. I despair, I really do.

Islasmam your post about diary Arabella is just about making me stick with this thread. I hope to goodness she never stumbles upon a cheesy puff by mistake. Poor wee fairy.

Damn I've never been able to spell unnecessary.

Or Iylasmam for that matter.

diary Arabella? FAIRY for goodness sake. Stupid autocorrect.

Next door's DD is in yr 6 and she still believes. Her mum is thinking she'll have to tell her if she still believes when she goes up to secondary school. And I know of another mum who put her DD's letter to Father Christmas in her bag and there it stayed until her DD found it months later. She was 12. The mum was appalled that her DD found out due to her stupidity.

farewellfigure, the fairy council here in Ireland are working on a cure at the moment, but until one is found, it's best to keep all cheesy puffs locked away and make sure if any fall on the floor that you pick them up and put them away. Fairys can't help themselves, they really love the taste.

This is all a bit deep isn't it? Lying to your kids? Blimming hell!!! Santa and the tooth fairy is all a bit of fun - why can't it be 'real' for such a short period of your life?? I don't know any kids that grew up with issues because their parents 'lied' to them about the existence of Santa!! This website never ceases to amaze me.

Hi FarewellFigure, I never said anything about Evil Consumerism - you're making that bit up. Try reading something before having a pop.

I said that believing in a popular icon whose image is well used in advertising is not really very imaginative. Squoosh corrected me on the Coca Cola myth which I acknowledged.

Also at the poster who thinks life is ten years of magic and the rest is harsh / mundane reality. I hope every single year of my DCs' lives is full of discovery and wonder

Oh sorry tondelayo I didn't mean to misquote you. I apologise. I didn't mean to have a pop at you personally.

What I was trying to say was that some people equate Coca Cola with consumerism and FC gets tarred with the same brush because of the link (i.e. they dressed him in red rather then the traditional green). I didn't mean you in particular. I believe that the magic of FC can be done with a satsuma and a bag of chocolate coins... as long as the stocking is nice and lumpy it doesn't really matter what the monetary value of the contents is.

DS1 terrified of Father Christmas after a visit at nursery when he was about 3. After that we never paid much attention to it, they still all get stockings etc and we leave a note for FC and a carrot for Rudolph etc, but just as a game. Always had to reassure DS1 that FC was def. not really coming to our house, it is just a lovely Christmas game etc etc. I actually had to say "it will only be me and daddy putting presents in your stocking".

As regards other children I used to say, "I don't know what happens in other people's families, everyone has different celebrations" and "don't spoil any surprises for your friends" etc etc True or not true, never really came into it.

in my experience it's the kids who used to believe in FC and suddenly find out it's not true that are more likely to go around telling other children because they feel powerful and all of a sudden 'older' than the believers. (Maybe also in some cases because they feel a bit sad/ambivalent about it.)

^This.

I have never believed in Santa, it was never a big deal. I never 'told' anyone. Because it wasn't a massive secret. Just like, in my house we didn't have soda or artificial colourants, I knew other kids did: that was them, this was us.

I think it's only people who 'do' Santa who think it's this huge big deal. I was raised as an atheist and I understood from very young that other people went to church, we didn't, and we didn't talk about that as it might hurt their feelings.

Also, I think many of you who 'do' FC don't appreciate the excitement that Christmas can have for those who don't. We always knew our parents bought our presents, but we never knew when or what. We just knew the big walk-in wardrobe was off-limits from the end of November. It was thrilling to imagine what surprises they were planning for us - and us for them!

On 'the eve of Christmas Eve' (aka the 23rd) my dad would bring all the wrapped presents down in the evening, after we'd decorated the tree. I loved that tree - it was so tacky! It was hugely exciting watching him pile up presents and arrange them around the tree. We then had a whole day (Xmas Eve) of waiting and guessing before opening presents on Christmas itself. Those childhood experiences are magical in my memory, because they were all about mutual giving of gifts.

Also, if you 'do' FC, where do your presents from your children come from? Or don't they get you any? If not, that's so sad - a huge amount of the joy of Christmas for me was watching my mum open the rubbishy picture frame I'd make in art class or the chocolate or earrings I'd saved my pocket money to buy. Christmas was about giving, not just getting.

hi FarewellFigure. No worries

Ah revolting that's something I don't understand either. When DH was little, he believed that ever single present under the tree was from FC. There were no presents under the tree until Christmas morning and all the tags were 'From FC'. I'm afraid the first Christmas I spent there, I said I was going to write 'from farewell and DH' on all our tags and blooming well hand our present to each person so they knew it was from us! Now there are two Grandchildren in the family, and everyone writes their names on tags as well as there being a few bits and bobs from Father Christmas.

In our family, there was a stocking and maybe one wrapped present from FC. All the other presents were labelled from family members and they were put under the tree on Christmas Eve (so we could all get really excited). We all handed our presents personally to people with a kiss, and I agree, there is as much excitement in handing someone a present you know they will love, as in receiving one.

Our DS is absolutely fit to POPPING when he gets to hand someone a present from him. I would not take that away from him for anything. He's suddenly got to the age where he is actually good at keeping secrets, so we can plan what to get people and involve him in the buying and wrapping. He loves our birthdays almost as much as his own!