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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not be sure if a 17 year old boy can be in the right headspace to train as a midwife?

618 replies

Boysclothes · 05/09/2014 11:26

I know a few male midwives, all older guys who are nurse converted and are all great. No problem with it at all.

However a friends son wants to be in a caring profession and she has asked me to have a chat with him about becoming a midwife, direct entry so training from next September. She knows a bit about it and thinks the autonomy/quicker progression/pay etc makes it more desirable than being a nurse.

So, I'm just musing here as I know the admissions tutors will make the decision they see fit, but I'm not sure if a just turned 18 year old lad could cope with or make sense of midwifery. It's just so very female isn't it? And if he hasn't got much experience of women, it just seems a bit... I dunno.... Inappropriate, possibly?

I'm going to tell him about the realities of the job but what are your thoughts?

OP posts:

gobbynorthernbird · 05/09/2014 11:28

I think good for him.

makeminea6x · 05/09/2014 11:29

He'll need some kind of work experience won't he? So he needs to get some experience of caring, fast! That's the best way of helping him to know?

I think some don't realise how much they don't like dealing with bodies until they're faced with it!

Cereal0ffender · 05/09/2014 11:29

I agree and would not have wanted a teenage boy anywhere near me when pregnant.

kinkyfuckery · 05/09/2014 11:30

I think there's a good chance a 17 year old boy knows almost as much about a woman's body as a 17 year old girl.

Beetlemilk · 05/09/2014 11:30

But presumably by the time he's qualified he won't be a 17 year old boy any longer?

Cereal0ffender · 05/09/2014 11:31

I had a few student midwives when pregnant

Lucked · 05/09/2014 11:32

But most boys choosing to study medicine will be 17 or 18 years old. I also think good on him.

whataloadofoldshite · 05/09/2014 11:32

Why couldn't he do it? I'm sure in nursing he'll come across plenty of privates, blood, pee and poop? If there was a guy on here saying a girl couldn't be a mechanic or builder or any other traditionally male role people would go nuts!

sillystring · 05/09/2014 11:32

Wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest. If he's capable of the training and the job, his age or gender shouldn't come in to it. Imagine a thread entitled "To not be sure if a 17 year old girl....insert male dominated profession". Everyone would be going crazy about sexism and ageism. I hope he does well if it's what he wants to do.

OwlCapone · 05/09/2014 11:32

She knows a bit about it and thinks the autonomy/quicker progression/pay etc makes it more desirable than being a nurse.

so, the midwifery idea is being driven by the mother, not the 17 yr old himself...?

BauerTime · 05/09/2014 11:33

Does he actually want to be a midwife or does his mum want him to be a midwife?

I'm not sure it sounds right that a 17-18 year old boy would have being a midwife as a life ambition, as you say it seems like a path that is probably taken some way down the line by a male nurse after gaining experience. I think that at this age the relationship he has/experience of/feelings towards members of the opposite sex might make midwifery slightly inappropriate, but if that's what he wants then he has as might right as an 18 year old girl to make that choice i guess.

whatsbehindthegreendoor · 05/09/2014 11:33

How sexist of you and how patronising. Sorry, but I just think you're out of order....
It's not like he's going to be allowed to get practical, hands on experience, straight away anyway. So, are you also of the same school of thought that a teenage girl couldn't become a nurse if she was only going to be dealing with men's issues? Or is just young men that you have a problem with?

Cereal0ffender · 05/09/2014 11:33

I think midwifery is different

OwlCapone · 05/09/2014 11:34

Imagine a thread entitled "To not be sure if a 17 year old girl....insert male dominated profession".

It's not quite the same though as childbirth is a very personal, female thing. There isn't really a direct male equivalent.

BauerTime · 05/09/2014 11:35

*much right

OwlCapone · 05/09/2014 11:35

I would have thought he was better off training as a nurse which gives him more flexibility.

Muskey · 05/09/2014 11:35

I also know a male midwife who trained as a nurse and then went onto midwifery when he was in his 30s. I would have no problems with a male midwife student or otherwise if they are mature in attitude. I don't think anyone wants an immature student male or female when you are giving birth. You just need someone who is professional. I think in this scenario it would depend on the individual

flanjabelle · 05/09/2014 11:36

I agree with cereal.

Tbh I am completely uncomfortable with the idea of male midwives anyway. Call me sexist or whatever, but its just how I feel. A teenage boy is probably the last person I would want in with me during labour!

SirChenjin · 05/09/2014 11:36

Being in possession of a vagina does not automatically make you a good midwife. I suspect that the admissions board will identify whether or not he has the qualities required, but I agree with Make - he (and everyone else who applies to the course) should have an understanding of the sector

YouTheCat · 05/09/2014 11:36

I'm not sure about this. How many pregnant women would be comfortable with an 18 year old (whether male or female) staring up their vagina?

I just think it is one of those professions where having nursing training first would make sense from a practical point of view.

Beetlemilk · 05/09/2014 11:37

My dnephew wanted to be midwife. He was doing a nursing degree, but had to give it up due to financial factors.
He'd have been an incredible midwife though.

basgetti · 05/09/2014 11:37

I agree with you OP. I'm going through an awful pregnancy at the moment and sometimes there are student midwives at my appointments. I'm ok with that, but if one of them was an 18 year old male I would ask for them to leave the room.

BruthasTortoise · 05/09/2014 11:37

You're exactly right and females certainly shouldn't train in anything to do with the prostate, penis or testicles either.

HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 05/09/2014 11:37

Its unusual. not sure his motives are right with the pay aspect or quicker progression.

I used to be a midwife, I stopped working and have let my registration lapse as couldn't make the hours work with my family needs. There can be a lot more responsibility than a nurse can be given. A midwife is often working alone, whereas a nurse on the ward might not have the same level of responsibility (generalising here I know). It is a very female dominated profession, how he will he find that with regards to making friends and socialising with work colleagues? I know my own 17yr old sees work as a way to gain new friends.

If he does really want to be a midwife then good on him, I have met a couple, it is still a very new role for men and there aren't many out there at all. I'd encourage him to get work experience in as many caring environments as possible. Also to look carefully at other options as midwifery is highly competitive and I imagine he will need more than a levels to get in. (that would apply to any girls with just a levels as well)

Cereal0ffender · 05/09/2014 11:37

I had a fairly young midwife when giving birth, she was lovely and calm and read my birth plan. I really would not have wanted a man, I don't think it is sexist.

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