To not be sure if a 17 year old boy can be in the right headspace to train as a midwife?

[Boysclothes]

I know a few male midwives, all older guys who are nurse converted and are all great. No problem with it at all.

However a friends son wants to be in a caring profession and she has asked me to have a chat with him about becoming a midwife, direct entry so training from next September. She knows a bit about it and thinks the autonomy/quicker progression/pay etc makes it more desirable than being a nurse.

So, I'm just musing here as I know the admissions tutors will make the decision they see fit, but I'm not sure if a just turned 18 year old lad could cope with or make sense of midwifery. It's just so very female isn't it? And if he hasn't got much experience of women, it just seems a bit... I dunno.... Inappropriate, possibly?

I'm going to tell him about the realities of the job but what are your thoughts?

now I do think that a 17yr old boy who does really want to be a midwife, will have a totally different outlook and level of maturity than many other 17yr old boys. My main objection to the original op is noting to do with his gender/sexuality/maturity but to do with maybe a misguided perception of how the career will progress.

A nurse especially a general adult nurse will have a lot more opportunity to progress their career than a direct entry midwife. You only have to think how many different branches of general nursing there are compared to midwifery. I really believe that midwifery has to be your ultimate goal if you want to train to be a midwife and to not be thinking of salary and career progression. I have met many many midwives who started as a midwife and are still midwife's not sisters, not managers etc but are 'just' midwives, this is usually for a couple of reason, one being that ultimately they love midwifery and that's what they want to do, and also because the higher positions are few and far between. of course there is progression through a couple of pay grades without being anything other than a midwife.

OP, when I was 18 if I had been witness to a woman in labour I think I would have found it terrifying. Nothing to do with being a woman or a man. It is a state that is very much private and hidden (with good reason - a need for privacy is a natural biological urge during birth) and would be very likely to be frightening to anyone with zero experience of it. Everything you say in your latest post applies equally to girls and women.

he won't be 17 by the time they let him at the business end, will he?

and I doubt that all midwives have to have given birth themselves.

nonetheless, for a profession where the clientele is exclusively female,it does sound like there will be some obstacles.

It's hardly "shocking prejudice" is it? Society changes, 18 year old male midwives must be very new, the number of make midwives in total is still only in double figures. It's natural to talk about and assess social change as it happens.

What a sad thread.

Surely it's not hugely different from an 18 year old man wanting to do medicine with a view to working in obs and gynae, or urology, or colorectal surgery?

In all those placements young men are going to be involved with intimate examinations featuring both men's and women's genitalia and anuses

i would not be ok with a teenage boy midwife. I also think my dp would not be ok with a teenage girl checking his prostate or balls. I think Its the mother driving this

I can't comment on the individual but if someone has a clear idea of what they want to do I wouldn't dissuade them. I wanted to apply for a midwifery degree at the age of 17 but my form tutor and my dad both out me off saying I was too young to narrow down my options by doing a vocational degree. Instead I did a degree in a completely different subject and that sent me down a completely different career path. Fast forward 25 years I am now a SAHM with an unrewarding career behind me and still longing to be a midwife. However with a DH that works away a lot and no family nearby it is not an option for me to start training until I am in my mid-fifties which I imagine would be too late.

I would discuss the realities of training and the job with him but please don't try and out him off.

Oh, for me too. And I didn't care one bit, just wanted the baby born safely. When not in labor I am quite modest, though, so the idea of a male midwife would have disturbed me more than the reality.

On the whole though, OP, its the idea of a 17 year old (either gender) being involved that bothers me old gimmer. But I guess he won't be 17 by the time he's actually assisting.

special - Read the thread. It is perfectly possible that he will be present at a birth at 17 as a student. Midwifery training is very hands on very early on.

YABVVU not all 17 year old boys are the same! Some are far more mature than others, and he might be one of them. No different to a 17 year old girl, except that her patients and her share the same anatomy. No different to a 18 year old boy/girl training as a Nurse or Doctor, after A levels! He is there in a professional capacity, if he bahaves unprofessionally I am sure his mentor will pull him up on it, or not pass him.

If he can't cope he won't pass his training. It isn't for us to decide whether a 17 yo could cope or not.

This is not comparable to medical students. Medical students are not involved in witnessing or doing such personal and intimate care at 17 years old. Their training is different, and they will be older and have matured more before they have to be involved in anything as intimate and personal.

I have an 18 year old female cousin who is beginning her midwife training and frankly I wouldn't let her near me either while training or when she qualifies. Why? Because she has all the empathy of a kitchen cupboard. No sympathy for people less fortunate than her and judges loud and publicly. Not a chance she would get near me when in a vulnerable state.
The female student MW who delivered DD2 on the other hand was a gentle confident wonderful young woman who was a huge help. Had a male MW with those same qualities shown up at my door at 3am having driven 30 miles to get here he would have been welcomed in.
If he has an understanding of how women feel while in labour/carrying a child and can treat them as human beings then he should he encouraged.

i wouldn't want a teenage girl either though. I want women. Wise old women, who've birthed and have world experience and are not just there because their mum said there was better pay progression than for other sorts of nursing.

He'll be just 18. They go into placement in the October after starting in the September. Med students won't see a patent until they are 21/22.

I'm finding some of the answers a bit shutting-down. Is it really sad to talk about new social change?

Yabu of course he can become a midwife!

Don't you need A levels to be on a midwifery course though femin? In which case he'd be 18 at the start of training.

Exactly biosuisse.
I'm sure a 17 year old boy is just as capable as a 17 year old girl of witnessing a birth if given permission by the mother.

My godson is a mature and caring 18 year old. There is still no way I think I'd've been comfortable with someone like him present when I was giving birth. Sorry.

I think you should have a chat with him OP - if only to find out if it really is his motivation and whether he understands what will be involved. And, as you say, it won't be your call about whether he is accepted for training.

I wouldn't want a teenage girl at all, either.

Boysclothes - Exactly, 21/22 is very different from 17 or even 18 years old. You mature so much in those few years.

I don't understand the root of people's objection. Is it about the risk he might be turned on in the course of his work? Is it that he might be immature because of his age? Or something else?

Med students won't see a patent until they are 21/22

This is historic and not the case any longer. Particularly in the newer medical schools where the curriculum is integrated rather than traditional pre-clinical/clinical.

One of the nicest midwives I encountered in our maternity hospital was a man - I didn't care whether that he'd never given birth, or wasn't a wise old woman, I cared that he was nice and full of empathy and knew what he was doing.

I would not care about someones age or gender, as long as they were good at their job.