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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to judge this mum in Pizza Hut?

193 replies

hippo123 · 01/09/2014 18:01

Ok, I admit my judgy pants were pulled very high and maybe I'm being unreasonable about this.

So myself and my kids were in Pizza Hut today at lunchtime. A lady was out with her 3 boys who at a guess were 6,9 and 11. Each of the boys had an iPad mini and played on them throughout, even whilst eating. They had headphones on which I guess is good in terms of noise disturbance but as a result there was no talking between any of them. When the waitress asked if everything was ok they didn't hear so the mum spoke for them.
The mum spent all of her time on her iPhone.
Aibu to think this is a bit sad? And no, I really don't think any of them had special needs, although I accept it is technically possible.

OP posts:
ditavonteesed · 01/09/2014 18:05

6 weeks and 1 day into the holiday, I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt that she just wanted some peace. (or maybe I am projecting)

Twitterqueen · 01/09/2014 18:05

Sad but common. My eldest (19) on holiday, with fantastic mountain views, had earphones plugged in, listening to music on phone but also taking and answering texts, whilst IMing at least 3 different people online and also watching American trash on TV.

I find it very difficult sometimes but unfortunately have come to accept that this is normal and to fight it is to useless. You will not win and you will just get a whole load of angst and stress.

Fairylea · 01/09/2014 18:05

It's not ideal, no but having spent probably every single day of the school holidays together (I would imagine) maybe they just fancied some pizza to eat and a bit of their own space? Not every meal has to be a social occasion.

capsium · 01/09/2014 18:07

But they weren't disturbing you or spoiling anyone else's enjoyment of their meals?

If not, there really is no need for you to judge. You don't know them or what they are like the rest of the time. Head phones, iPads and phones are not illegal.

wtffgs · 01/09/2014 18:08

(Shrugs)

Perhaps Mum was getting them out of the house for food so she could deal with urgent emails? They had been squabbling and she needed some quiet time? Perhaps she's as lazy as fuck?

No one will ever know.

My kids have spent lots of time on gadgets this summer while I fight off one cold after another, try to make sense of the way forward with DC's SN diagnosis and run a household as an LP.

Judge her don't judge her. A stranger's opinion probably isn't high on whatever constitutes her list of priorities Wink

choochoomcgrew · 01/09/2014 18:09

I wouldnt bother going out for dinner if I wanted peace from the kids, Id bung them a pizza at home, leave them with their headphones on and go and watch something in the other room!
For me, going out for dinner or even eating at the same table is a no tech rule. I always make the kids put their phones in another room at dinner, hate hate hate it.
But I dont judge her - each to their own but I would have felt the same!

JennyOnTheBlocks · 01/09/2014 18:10

So what?

And how did you know there was no SN issue?

YABU

Idontseeanysontarans · 01/09/2014 18:12

YANBU/YABU I don't know tbh. It's the end of the holidays and even though it's been fine I'm hiding from the DC's on the stairs - ones on his way out, one's on the iPad and one's doing something that's keeping her quiet...
She could have reached Peak Child and decided on any port in a storm. Did she have wine? When I took my brood out for lunch I had wine. Especially after nearly 7 weeks.

fackinell · 01/09/2014 18:12

I'm just irritated by 3 kids in the same family having an iPad mini each when we have one for the household and I never get to bloody use it!!

Idontseeanysontarans · 01/09/2014 18:12

It's been a trying day... Grin

SistersOfPercy · 01/09/2014 18:13

Went out with DH the other night for a pub meal, a Dad came in on his own with a son of about 10 or 11. Son sat down, pulled out iPad and headphones and that was that.

Felt a bit sorry for the Dad really, even through the meal the boy carried on eating with one hand and poking the iPad with the other. Not a word was exchanged between the pair in the hour we were there.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 01/09/2014 18:17

I don't like it either but as others have hinted at it is only a snapshot of their life.

Flangeshrub · 01/09/2014 18:19

YABU. Who cares? A snap shot in to another family's life and you make all sorts of assumptions.
I'm also shattered and mentally fatigued at the end of the holidays and it's possible if my kids were a bit older I/they might do the same. Actually I probably wouldn't in a restaurant out of fear of being judged but often do this in my own home!

Modern technology is wonderful and terrible in equal measure. I couldn't possibly judge a family based on a snapshot.

PandasRock · 01/09/2014 18:22

Just how did you determine that there were no SN involved?

I could have been that mum. I have 3 children. 2 often have their iPad minis with them when out, and will sometimes wear headphones.

They both have autism. But oddly enough, they don't have this tattooed on their foreheads, so there is no way you would know from merely observing them playing on their iPads Hmm

StrawberryMouse · 01/09/2014 18:25

I wouldn't care. As a table neighbour, I would rather that than them all messing about and making a noise tbh. Grin

MozzchopsThirty · 01/09/2014 18:26

I don't see the problem, we're on holiday at the moment and the dcs fave place to eat gives the children tablets to play on.
Keeps them quiet, I eat in peace, everyone's a winner Grin

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 01/09/2014 18:26

Yabu. I'd be overjoyed if my 3 would sit quietly (with or without miniature screens) when we go out to eat. One wants a drink, one really needs the toilet, one really wants to look at the menu by the door in closer detail... Then they become restless and can't wait for food. The food arrives and they pick at it. One then wants what someone else ordered and demands to try some. Then they start to turn on each other or two of them gang up on the third one. They get separated. I get paranoid that people are staring and judging my parenting skills. (Look at this thread. Of course they are. ) they probably think I let them run wild or behave like little tyrants at home which of course I don't. There is just something about eating out as a family that makes the kids go batty. If I could get them to sit there glued to screens then believe me I would. I dread to think about the level of judgyness if you were presented with my 3 little darlings in a reversed scenario. :o

TheBigBumTheory · 01/09/2014 18:29

I'm judging her for not making her own pizza.

Also I blame the father, why pick on the mother..

Wink
NellysKnickers · 01/09/2014 18:30

Just out of interest, how old are your dcs op? Sounds like a fab lunch at the end of the holidays. May ring round to see if we can borrow another tablet to do the same tomorrow Grin

Original poster
hippo123 · 01/09/2014 18:31

Like I said, I was presuming they had no special needs although I accepted that was a possibility.

I just thought it was quite sad for all of them, and frankly why bother going out for pizza if your all going to sit there and ignore each other.
I also thought it was rude to ignore the waitress, although I guess they couldn't hear her. They could of still of said thanks or something.
Don't get me wrong, iPads are great. My kids had one today In the doctors surgery whilst I was having a smear. Very handy! However I personally think that taking them into restaurants is a step to far.
I also accept that there are much more important things going on in the world to be concerned about Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
hippo123 · 01/09/2014 18:33

Mine are primary age. They were having the help yourself buffet,as were most people, so no problems with them getting up and down.

OP posts:
JennyOnTheBlocks · 01/09/2014 18:33

Yeah, I've just come back to ask why you're judging their mum.

Also

Should she have brought a 'magic bag' full of broken crayons and colouring books instead?

meglet · 01/09/2014 18:34

It's the end of the holidays, she's probably broken and needs the peace.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 01/09/2014 18:35

Well, no it's not great, but my kids often take books out to restaurants - is that better/as bad/worse Confused? tbf, I very ready for them to go back to school now - 6.5 weeks is a loooong time Smile

AvonCallingBarksdale · 01/09/2014 18:35

I am very ready