Aibu to judge this mum in Pizza Hut?

[hippo123]

Ok, I admit my judgy pants were pulled very high and maybe I'm being unreasonable about this.
So myself and my kids were in Pizza Hut today at lunchtime. A lady was out with her 3 boys who at a guess were 6,9 and 11. Each of the boys had an iPad mini and played on them throughout, even whilst eating. They had headphones on which I guess is good in terms of noise disturbance but as a result there was no talking between any of them. When the waitress asked if everything was ok they didn't hear so the mum spoke for them.
The mum spent all of her time on her iPhone.
Aibu to think this is a bit sad? And no, I really don't think any of them had special needs, although I accept it is technically possible.

[tittifilarious]

If it's ok for you to judge her, I'm judging you for your poor grammar first time I've ever commented on grammar on here so make what you will of that and use of the annoyingly twee "judgey pants".

[AyMamita]

YANBU but I am judging you for going to Pizza Hut

[DesperatelySeekingSedatives]

So.... this mother was out for dinner with her boys who were not making any noise or disturbing other diners at all, their behaviour didn't affect you in the slightest and this is a problem? how exactly?

I'm not trying to be nasty OP but I really don't see the issue. if it was a big family gathering with various grandparents etc keen to speak to them then I could see your point but pizza hut at lunchtime on a Monday right before school starts? nah no judging here. I wouldn't have even noticed them tbh I'd have been too busy messing around on my phone and trying to pretend I'm not with my own kids

[Notso]

At first glance I would judge too, it's not what I would choose for my family. Then I would get my MN head on think of a load of 'what if's' and 'but maybe's' and get on with eating my minging pizza.

[sunnydaylucy]

Agree with OP. Assuming no SN then I just think that it's all a bit sad.
I don't like 'devices' at any table but do allow books, even I don't understand why I think that is acceptable, I suppose I am just grateful they are engrossed enough in something to want to read!
A pub/restaurant near me installed TV's showing kids programmes in every booth, never went back. Weird.
I do try not to judge others though, well until my own parenting skills are perfected anyway

[hazeyjane]

As Aice said they weren't bothering you in any way, I don't get why you paid them a second glance.

I think I must be the most unobservant person in the world, I never pay much attention to the other people when we are in a cafe etc. (apart from the man in full Britney Spears as a schoolgirl outfit in Caffe Nero once, but that was mainly because I was so impressed by his magnificent chutzpah)

[BehindHerSmile]

Well can I judge you for watching another family eat their entire meal and not just focus on your own family?

Maybe next time just mind your own business when stuffing your face with pizza.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Yanbu

[marne2]

My dd2 has ASD, we often take her iPad when we go out for a meal but I do take it away when she is eating ( mainly because she would get pizza all over the iPad but also because we have a rule of 'no electronics whilst eating'). It does make me feel a little bit sad when I see people glued to phones or iPads whilst eating out.

[RandallFloyd]

What makes you so sure there were no SN?
Were they not waving their flags or clanging their bells

[crazylady321]

Signs of the times im afraid

[BehindHerSmile]

I'm bloody sick of hearing about

• well they might have sn.
  

Every person and their dog has sn according to mn.

I think the parents of children with sn actually get pretty pissed off that bad behaviour is written off as they have sn.

[Surfsup1]

I think once you walk into Pizza Hut, especially with kids, you forfeit the right to wear your judges pants. YABU.

[stillenacht1]

My DS always has headphones on when we go out to eat (a very rare occurrence). He has severe autism.

[Mmeh]

But for as long as we put up the sn argument on every thread we are stifling the point of the thread which is a debate.

There is something to be debated here: the use of gadgetry at a table to excuse each other from actual communication. Which I think is pretty appalling, I don't care how end of tether the woman is, surely the lot of them could have unplugged themselves while eating?!

My dd's are exhausting but I still just don't condone the use of gadgets at the table. It's basic manners, but for as long as we stick our fingers in our ears and lock down debate on it we'll never face up to the fact that we could, just possibly, be watching/facilitating a generation of young people grow up in their own detached, isolated lives. What you saw here was a snapshot of this concept, and that is I believe more the op's debate here. Whether the woman does this every day or not isn't the issue.

Does it bother me that my dds are being brought up in a society where communication, manners, interaction are being seen as less and less important? Hell yeah. But let's keep sticking our heads in the sand and shout each other down over tenuous possibilities and pretend it isn't happening in fear of being seen as judgemental.

[Mmeh]

And stillenacht that wasn't directed at you in particular. Your situation is completely understandable and I'm sorry if anything I said offended you.

[BadLad]

So they ate their dinner quietly, without disturbing you.

How awful. I'd call 101.

[stillenacht1]

For me its not a SN argument, its my life and obviously yet another way for me to be potentially judged.

[stillenacht1]

Ok Mmeh cross posted.

[differentnameforthis]

You have no idea of this is a one off. Like pp said, getting close to end of holidays now & perhaps she did/allowed what she could to get some peace.

You just don't know.

[Madamecastafiore]

YANBU. I would have judged too.

I find it sad that people don't communicate over the dinner table anymore. It's an important part of the day to concentrate on your kids and find out about their time at school or what issues are troubling them.

When I see people out with their kids doing this I thinks it is lazy parenting, easier to put the head phones on and switch off than getting involved with them. Talking or playing little word games doing little quizzes.

I would not have judged you for being in Pizza Hut though, far cheaper than Pizza Express which IMO is a rip off. I wouldn't judge you for your grammar either as I think that would make me an utter wanker.

[KoalaDownUnder]

There is something to be debated here: the use of gadgetry at a table to excuse each other from actual communication. Which I think is pretty appalling, I don't care how end of tether the woman is, surely the lot of them could have unplugged themselves while eating?!

I agree. As kids, we were never allowed to read books at the table, no matter where we were eating; how is this any different? It's basic manners.

[SignYourNameInBrownAndFlame]

Yes OP, it's shocking.

"Mum and children eat at Pizza Hut. Nothing happens. No Britons hurt."

As you were...

[Bulbasaur]

I think the parents of children with sn actually get pretty pissed off that bad behaviour is written off as they have sn.

Not to mention it's just reinforcing stereotypes and trying to say what sn people "should" look like. Then again you have parents here that are like "Well, people should just know DC has SN's and be understanding".

The entire problem people with invisible disabilities run into is the fact that an action in and of itself is not abnormal. It's a collection of habits and issues. You can't tell from a glance if someone has SN's, and you never will.

The kids could have ASD, but since it only affects 1% of the population, there's a 99% chance they're just typical kids absorbed in technology.