Aibu to judge this mum in Pizza Hut?

[hippo123]

Ok, I admit my judgy pants were pulled very high and maybe I'm being unreasonable about this.
So myself and my kids were in Pizza Hut today at lunchtime. A lady was out with her 3 boys who at a guess were 6,9 and 11. Each of the boys had an iPad mini and played on them throughout, even whilst eating. They had headphones on which I guess is good in terms of noise disturbance but as a result there was no talking between any of them. When the waitress asked if everything was ok they didn't hear so the mum spoke for them.
The mum spent all of her time on her iPhone.
Aibu to think this is a bit sad? And no, I really don't think any of them had special needs, although I accept it is technically possible.

[kslatts]

YABU - we only ever go to pizza hut for lunch as part of a shopping trip.

If she had just spent the morning doing the going back to school shop then I don't blame her for wanting a bit of peace.

[PecanNut]

Family eat in silence every mealtime because kids are plugged into Ipads every waking hour = bad.

Family have one meal whilst using ipads for a break = no big deal.

You have no idea about their circumstances therefore

YABU

[ramrod757]

I'm judging you OP for using 'myself'

[Ev1lEdna]

God. I am utterly sick to death of parents especially mothers judging other mothers. Don't you think we all have enough to contend with?

[thornrose]

But for as long as we put up the sn argument on every thread we are stifling the point of the thread which is a debate

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to join any parenting threads, especially the more judgemental ones. I only have one dc, she has SN, it's our life. I mention her SN if it's relevant to the thread, I'm coming to the conclusion my view isn't welcome which makes me feel even more isolated.

My dd often wears headphones and is plugged into her IPod when we're out for meals. I'd hate to think someone was watching us and pitying us or judging us based on that. Dd looks entirely "normal" for want of a better word, you really cannot tell to look at her.

I hesitate to post this as so many people get pissed off and start churning out here come the SN brigade and such like. I have to be honest it's driving me away.

I've read and re read this thread, finger hovering over the post button.

I'll just wait for someone to ever so helpfully suggest I take a break. Which I don't think is the answer, but I don't know what is?

[ephemeralfairy]

When I was 7/8 up to when I was about 11 I used to sit at the table in restaurants and cafes and read and just ignore everyone. No SN, I just loved reading. In hindsight it was quite rude and I am quite surprised my mum allowed it but I think she was just relieved I was actually reading...!

[BoysiesBack]

Oh thank god!

I thought this thread was going to be about me as I took 3 of my boys to Pizza Hut for lunch yesterday and it was a nightmare, but thankfully, the ages don't match.

[AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore]

Personally, I have gone into a restaurant on a day when the dcs are in school, brought a good book with me, ordered lunch, and happily read my book before the food arrives and even while I'm eating. I'm acknowledge the wait staff, thank them, and so on. But I read and eat and relax.

If an adult is at the table with a child, and both the child and adult are reading (looking at mobiles, ipads, whatever), and it is fine with the other person at the table, I cannot see how that is an issue with ANYONE. It's not rude, as the other person at the table is fine with it.

IMO it would really only be rude if, for example, I met a friend for lunch and spent the whole time reading/texting/whatever instead of engaging with my friend. That IS rude, and obviously I wouldn't do that.

But would I think it was rude if someone else at another table was reading or texting quietly or playing on an ipad? Nope. Not a jot.

[AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore]

And I don't think it's "sad" either. After all, I hardly think 30 minutes to an hour of someone's time at lunch is a measure of their entire day.

[BoysiesBack]

But, to actually answer the thread:

YABU for all of the reasons already stated.

As a family, the vast majority of the time we have no gadgets at the table, BUT, I have 4 boys, 1 with very severe SN, life is bloody hard work because of his needs and when he's in a state the only thing to diffuse the situation is his tablet, so I let him have it, if that's over a meal time then meh. He doesn't look disabled, you'd never guess he has SN and of course, if he's allowed a screen, 2 of the others (4th one is a baby, doesn't want one yet) will bleat it's not fair so they should be allowed theirs too.

[xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv]

They were probably messaging each other about the nosey woman on the next table ignoring her own kid to stare at them.

[limitedperiodonly]

Maybe OP welcomed the opportunity to judge the behaviour of her fellow diners because it gave her an interesting topic to discuss with her own children and then excitedly write about on here.

[BlueBrightBlue]

My dc had a little birthday part a couple of years ago. Two of the guests came with their little electric gadgets which they remained glued to for the entire duration .
Funnily enough it was at Pizza Hut.
Kid's were not invited again; what is the point?

[womblesofwestminster]

There's a lot of talk of exhaustion on this thread. I'm going to sound very Daily Mail when I ask this Q, but: Why have kids if they exhaust you after just 6 weeks? Seriously. You chose this.

[RandallFloyd]

Gosh yes, how awful to be so stifled.
Imagine having to consider, for one second of your valuable time, that a 'misbehaving' child may have SN.
What a huge inconvenience that must be.

You should feel free to judge and disapprove and tut away to your heart's content.
Especially when you don't know the child from Adam and their behaviour is having no impact on your life whatsoever.
How dare people spoil your fun.

[Greyhound]

Yes you are.

[fromparistoberlin73]

I dont know. I do think its a shame to have an entire lunch with each human being completely disengaged from the world on a bloody electronic device.

I think YABU to judge her, as who are we to judge anyone?

however YANBU to find it rather sad - I agree on that

and why is SN even an issue for this tale, only on bloody MN!

[limitedperiodonly]

I judge people who don't iron their clothes. They are scruffy.

But apart from just now, I don't post about it because their wrinkledness doesn't affect me beyond offending my sensibilities.

Much like people on neighbouring tables who allow their children to use iPads.

[Sunny67]

A few months ago we were out for a meal. A lady came in with two teenage girls, daughters I assume as they all looked alike. They sat at the next table to us, the girls sat with their phones the whole time, didn't seem to look up from them while eating or speak to their poor mum. The friends we were with commented on this too. They didn't stay long, ordered ate and went. Quite sad really, as a friend said if it was her and her kids she wouldn't take them again.

[AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore]

and why is SN even an issue for this tale, only on bloody MN!

if you can't figure that out from reading the thread, there's really no point anyone trying to spell it out to you.

It's only sad from your perspective, really. From THEIR perspective, it's obviously perfectly fine.

[womblesofwestminster]

So, no one can answer my Q?

6 weeks is not really a long time.

[thornrose]

and why is SN even an issue for this tale, only on bloody MN!

I was going to try to explain but I doubt it would sink in!

[Idontseeanysontarans]

Well I had mine to sacrifice on the altar to Baal when I get a few spare minutes...

Because Wombles when it's pretty much 24/7 for 7 weeks because your DH travels for work quite a bit some days can be more tiring than others.
I took my 3 to a restaurant a while back after a museum trip and the waitress offered me a free glass of house white 'because I 'looked like I needed it', and they were all behaving wonderfully! she didn't have children and even she understood that sometimes a parent needs a break. As I'm sure you do really