Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to judge this mum in Pizza Hut?

193 replies

hippo123 · 01/09/2014 18:01

Ok, I admit my judgy pants were pulled very high and maybe I'm being unreasonable about this.

So myself and my kids were in Pizza Hut today at lunchtime. A lady was out with her 3 boys who at a guess were 6,9 and 11. Each of the boys had an iPad mini and played on them throughout, even whilst eating. They had headphones on which I guess is good in terms of noise disturbance but as a result there was no talking between any of them. When the waitress asked if everything was ok they didn't hear so the mum spoke for them.
The mum spent all of her time on her iPhone.
Aibu to think this is a bit sad? And no, I really don't think any of them had special needs, although I accept it is technically possible.

OP posts:
BeyondRepair · 01/09/2014 19:32

I think your really really mean. We have just been on hols with a small toddler and due to endless rain meant we had to abandon all ideas of picnics well away from other humans, and come in doors to eat, cue very stressful dinners trying to keep a two year old under control.

it was a nightmare. if i could have put an ipad on her and kept her quiet i would have done, leave this poor poor woman be.

ouryve · 01/09/2014 19:32

Only if I can judge you for your use of "myself".

gamerchick · 01/09/2014 19:34

I judge no mother at the end of the summer holidays for wanting a bit of peace and quiet.

cansu · 01/09/2014 19:36

If it is technically possible that they may have sen then maybe you should give yourself a holiday from judging them. Frankly why judge anyone for something that has absolutely nothing to do with you. There are loads of things to discuss on mumsnet, why are there so many threads judging other peoples parenting. Really pisses me off.

gamerchick · 01/09/2014 19:36

In fact I've let the youngling have free reign of the telly for the past 2 days because I'm knackered. Definitely give your head a wobble time Grin

TheBogQueen · 01/09/2014 19:37

I have three of similar age 5,7,10. We have no iPads/phones at the table rule. They are expected to behave themselves and to talk.

But if I see another parent doing it differently - well it's their call. It's very silly to judge someone for that.

hmc · 01/09/2014 19:38

They might have had a full on morning of family interaction. I don't generally let mine take iPads to meals, however on a holiday recently after a very full on family day, the dc were allowed their iPads at dinner because we were all shattered - had spent all day enjoying each other's company and dinner was merely fuel that we needed (we weren't self catering and we had to eat!) ...we all needed some down time

TheBogQueen · 01/09/2014 19:38

And yes there are lots of threads about perceived poor parenting at the moment.

V dull

Mrsjayy · 01/09/2014 19:39

Yanbu its the sign of the times I guess but maybe its been a v v long holiday for her

brighthouse · 01/09/2014 19:40

Pay attention to your family. Stop judging others.

HoldenMcGroin · 01/09/2014 19:40

God I wish we'd gone to PH today

Instead I had bickering children, ugh

Nevermind we'll go tomorrow, hah

LuisSuarezTeeth · 01/09/2014 19:43

YABU.

Had this been in Starbucks I would say YANBU. Different class of place, obviously.

Bartlebee · 01/09/2014 19:44

It is a bit sad to see. We have a no iPads/phones at tables rule too, though Lord knows, sometimes it would be nicer if we didn't.

TSSDNCOP · 01/09/2014 19:48

In the SE it is two days until the schools start. She's doing well to have them dressed and in a restaurant IMO.

It might have simply been a reward for behaving during a morning doing uniform buying/haircuts or they might be jet lagged after a home flight.

But even if it wasn't it's none of your beeswax Wink

dietcokeandwine · 01/09/2014 19:50

Tbh, based on the day from hell I've had today (I also have three kids, we're at the point of the holidays where I've had enough!) I wouldn't have judged the woman.

I'd have admired the fact that she and three DC were sat calmly and quietly and that she wasn't reduced to shrieking and shouting and gnashing her teeth.

As others have said, it's a snapshot. And a sign of the times. Had all three kids been doing word searches, or colouring books, whilst mum read a magazine, would you have judged? I suspect not!

allisgood1 · 01/09/2014 19:50

Everyone you come across is battling with something you aren't aware of. Be kind. Always.

AlleyCat11 · 01/09/2014 19:54

As Mrsjayy said, it's the way it is now. I'm just back from a music festival & I couldn't believe how young folk live through their phones. The movie "Her" was all I could see. Groups of mates sitting together, not having a laugh or a chat, but engrossed in their own cyber world. Taking pictures of themselves. Recording videos of the gig. They are living in an alternate moment.

seasavage · 01/09/2014 19:57

Maybe this was a big 'your choice' treat (or a promise for getting through shoe shopping this side of sanity)?
Maybe the pads were new?
I hate 'tech at the table' too.

Stinkle · 01/09/2014 20:04

It's the last day of the holidays, it's pissing with rain. We've had a fab summer but I'm now at the end of my tether and sick of crabbing/Minecraft/refereeing arguments/beach/etc. I've had enough of noise and muuuuummm and constant questions and banging on about YouTube videos on bloody Minecraft

I've loved having them at home but half an hour peace while the kids aren't fighting/amused on their tablets? Yes please!.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 01/09/2014 20:11

Let's see. They weren't fighting, not noisy or bothering you so you couldn't eat your meal. No comment about scruffy clothing, so obviously well taken care of. You have no idea what they've been doing all day prior to this (or what they have planned for the rest of the day), and you've no idea what they're doing the rest of the day. It certainly can't be the food they're eating, as you were eating there as well (or were you sitting on the "healthy eating" side of Pizza Hut... oh wait... ). Hmm

I suppose she went home and was telling her friends "God, you should have seen this nosy busy body watching every fucking move we made, tutting and judging us the whole time we were there. She had her own kids to worry about, but she spent all her time watching us and making judgements. Maybe she'd be a happier person if she minded her own business...."

And maybe she would have a point...

daisychain01 · 01/09/2014 20:22

Just based on face value with the info you provide hippo I think you have a good point, observing the way technology is being allowed to dominate people's social interactions.

In the grand scheme of life, maybe it is trivial to observe one family, one day, one restaurant, but I feel disappointed if my DP does general browsing on his mobile at the table. He doesn't do it now because he knows what I'd say - we are eating out, it's poor form to do that, esp. in front of DS. And allowing such young children to think it's OK means they aren't being encouraged to make the effort to communicate. Our mealtimes have been the place for DS to express himself, get involved and test out his ideas.

But then again I find some behaviour in restaurants nowadays isnt that great - like sitting in a restaurant yesterday, opposite a family where the DF had his 14-15 year old daughter sitting on his lap with him scratching her back up her tee-shirt. Boundaries, what boundaries [shocked]

daisychain01 · 01/09/2014 20:23
Shock
madmomma · 01/09/2014 20:25

YANBU. Very sad and very common.

daisychain01 · 01/09/2014 20:27

Btw I didnt read hippo's OP as being unkind, it is observational and on-the-money about the scenario IMHO

She didn't march up to the DM and start hoiking up her judgey-pants in public!

BittersweetSymphony · 01/09/2014 20:29

YABU. Sometimes parents just need a break.