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AIBU?

AIBU in not wanting my guest to use my personal shower?

206 replies

TillHammerZeit · 27/08/2014 11:14

I suspect that I may be,but we'll see.

I'm going to have a guest staying overnight,on her way to another destination.

She informed me that as she doesn't like showers in baths,that she'd like to use my en suite shower. I'm not really happy about this. Perhaps unreasonably so,but it's my space,and I'd prefer her to use the main bathroom to shower. It has a 'real' shower fitted in there. Yes,she has to step over the bath to use it,but that's easy,and she has no mobility problems,or issues that mean it'd be difficult for her. I would of course allow it if that was an issue.

So WIBU to say no?

OP posts:

Report

PuppyMonkey · 29/08/2014 16:37

I'd be tempted to let her know your entire water system is on the blink and she's not going to be able to use ANY of the showers.

And tell her today so that she has time to book a hotel room instead (one with a shower over the bath, in all likelihood ).

Goldengirl1979 · 29/08/2014 16:50

Much clapping for the vezzie approach - women standing up for their own preferences is important and is not done enough.

FryOneFatManic · 29/08/2014 19:58

TillHammerZeit I agree you need to tell her now that your bedroom, including the ensuite private shower, is off limits. She will have the use of a perfectly good one.

And the snooping would get my back up instantly, despite the fact that I'm normally laid back.

EleanorRigsby · 29/08/2014 23:24

But if you do go with the dildo....you won't know if she's used it...then you won't be able to unless it get sterilized....
Mind you if she's that precious she won't use it as she will Obz assume you use it frequently.
Oh the options....

chunkythighs · 30/08/2014 00:12

I'm lucky enough to live in a large house with a few spare rooms. I have a thing where I cannot stand people sleeping on my sofa. It's not about the sofa, it's how it takes over a room, and the 'sleep' smell that's left for the day. Not to mention the fact that, the culprit is most likely to be the most hungover and sleep until lunchtime!

It annoys me so much when I have a big thing going on where lots of people staying over and siblings or really good friends stay over and share rooms (not beds mind!).

I go on repeat mode and say 'No-you have been given your room-I'm not getting into this again-stop asking to take over the living room'.
It's my version of no is a complete sentence! My rules my house-apology not offered!

Inertia · 30/08/2014 09:45

Of course YANBU! She just wants a big old snoop!

I'd tell her before Monday if possible- don't bother lying, tell her that the guest room and bathroom are available, but your bedroom / bathroom are not available to be used so if she would prefer to book a hotel you won't take any offence. If she presses, I'd tell her that you don't want her in your personal space given her history of snooping through private and personal documents.

clam · 01/09/2014 20:52

Ooh, come on, it's Monday. Update! Has she wheedled her way into your ensuite yet?

Tandia · 01/09/2014 21:00

Yes, where's the update?!

babybat · 01/09/2014 21:03

From the sounds of it, she's quite a young 23 year old, and perhaps not the type who really hears 'no' very often. You're older than her, it's your house. Just politely, firmly, insist on some boundaries. If this is how she behaves with her family, how's she ever going to get on in life?

r2d2ismyidealman · 01/09/2014 21:16

What a great thread. I was worrying about this earlier. I've gota couple coming to stay whoi know will be more comfortable in my shower buti will prefer them to use the main bathroom. Of coursei don't have the added issues you have op. How's it going? Is tomorrow morning crunch time?

pluCaChange · 01/09/2014 21:56

I know this will come across as a nosey question, so feel free to just answer to to and for yourself, but wrre your medical letters about the MH issues you mentioned? If so, not only should she know you have a hard time maintaining boundaries/ standing up for yourself, she may even (even unconsciously) be cunting on that. Either way, she's a dreadful guest, especially for you.

pluCaChange · 01/09/2014 21:58

SHIT, what a typo! Sorry, counting on that!

yellowdinosauragain · 01/09/2014 22:00

Plucachange if your dyac recognised cunting in preference to counting you are clearly a woman after my own heart :o

Gruntfuttock · 01/09/2014 22:00

"she may even (even unconsciously) be cunting on that."

the dirty cah!

Patsyandeddie · 01/09/2014 22:34

Seriously precious, what do you you do if you go on holiday, demand they replace the whole bathroom!

enriquetheringbearinglizard · 01/09/2014 22:40

When you book into a hotel it's clearly not the same thing at all as having someone stay in your home. Someone who has a bathroom available to them, but requests that they don't use that one, they use another one that requires access through your bedroom. That's the odd thing.

If there's a family bathroom available why on earth would anyone expect to use someone's ensuite? (unless they need a special access shower)

flipchart · 01/09/2014 22:44

What a lot of fuss over a shower!

Bulbasaur · 02/09/2014 06:18

If so, not only should she know you have a hard time maintaining boundaries/ standing up for yourself, she may even (even unconsciously) be cunting on that.

Just because you know someone has MH problems doesn't mean you understand all that it entails, or that you'll go out of your way to research what it means. It just means it's a source of curiosity now.

I wouldn't be allowing someone in my bedroom either. I have nothing to hide, I just don't like people in my spaces.

Surfsup1 · 02/09/2014 06:45

When is she coming OP? Can't wait to hear how this goes down!
Has she sent through her pillow preferences and the time she'd like her breakfast served?

MidniteScribbler · 02/09/2014 09:50

YANBU. My bedroom and ensuite are mine, and not for guest use. I've lived in houses where I've had to go on to the sofa to let guests use my bedroom, and will not do it anymore. I have two perfectly serviceable guest bedrooms and a large guest bathroom with bath and separate shower. Anyone who didn't like it or any additional guests that can't fit within those rooms can book a hotel, I will not be turfed out of my bedroom. I have every right to want space to myself in my own home, and shouldn't need to have to justify that to any guest.

DocDaneeka · 02/09/2014 10:32

I'm sorry, but after finding you reading private medical letters you'd found in a drawer, I am not prepared to allow you in my private space, so you will have to cope with the shower over the bath. If that makes you unhappy, reflect on the fact that you brought it on yourself!!

This
With nobs on. Don't prevaricate about the bush. :) and if she claims you 'made them accessible' I'd say too damn right, if you think that in a file, in a drawer is accessible then you have proven you can't be trusted to walk into a room, have a shower and walk out again.

pluCaChange · 02/09/2014 11:54

Sorry, yellowdinosaur, not an autocorrect!

Bulbosaur, you sound as though you have experience of that sort of nosy ignorance...

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Spadequeen · 03/09/2014 08:25

Update please!!

LiberalLibertines · 03/09/2014 08:42

BrightBlue that picture is gross

Surfsup1 · 03/09/2014 23:44

TillHammerZeit Where are you??
We need to know what happened!

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