AIBU in not wanting my guest to use my personal shower?

[TillHammerZeit]

I suspect that I may be,but we'll see.

I'm going to have a guest staying overnight,on her way to another destination.

She informed me that as she doesn't like showers in baths,that she'd like to use my en suite shower. I'm not really happy about this. Perhaps unreasonably so,but it's my space,and I'd prefer her to use the main bathroom to shower. It has a 'real' shower fitted in there. Yes,she has to step over the bath to use it,but that's easy,and she has no mobility problems,or issues that mean it'd be difficult for her. I would of course allow it if that was an issue.

So WIBU to say no?

Take the fuse out of your shower the night before then tell her it doesn't work. Problem solved. She'll have to use the other one.

She is odd and YANBU! Those people suggesting the OP is odd too, would you really go and stay with someone and dictate what facilities you find acceptable?!

I would kind of object on principle to this!

Just laugh and tell her to stop being ridiculous!!

YANBU

my MIL tries this when she stays despite the guest room having a lovely ensuite bathroom. She just wants to nose around.

Tell her it's the main bathroom or no shower.

Tell her you forgot to mention that you have a verruca, or maybe two, so everyone in the house is staying away from your shower till you are clear. You couldn't possibly risk her getting one.

I like BrightBlue's idea.

I really need to give up mn. I am so so tired of seeing the following exchange:

• poster expresses preference about thing which relates directly to their personal possessions / space / time; seeks reassurance that it is ok to have control over your own personal possessions / space / time; needs such reassurance because someone else is being really cheeky about their access to OP's personal possessions / space / time

• chorus of posters sneer at the content of the preference, saying it is precious, etc, thereby (spuriously) implying that it is unacceptable to have a preference about your own goddamned stuff

OK so you don't mind people in your en suite. Hurray for you, you big warm hearted mother earth hostesses. I hope you breastfeed your visitors' children naked in your own bed, too, to give their parents a lie-in.

Now let the OP do what she likes with her own bedroom and ensuite bathroom!

It's a bit of an odd requst but I'd just let her use it. I'd put anything away I was uncomfortable with her seeing. It's also a bit rude of her to ask as you are doing her a favour anyway.

Sounds like something someone might say if they wanted to have a snoop round your bathroom. Like getting their defence in early... 'Oh, you've caught me nosing round your bedroom... I did mention I'd prefer using this shower not the perfectly good one in the other room'

I would really feel uncomfortable using someone else's en suite.
A bit like wearing someone else's knickers.

vezzie - you might prefer netmums.

Be clear, the invitation is for her to sleep in a guest bedroom and use the main bathroom. If she doesn't want to do that, then she can stay in a hotel. Your ensuite is not going to be made available to her.

But really, the whole thing (from her side, not yours) sounds odd. Do you not think you are being a bit manipulated into giving her access/snooping opportunities?

Just say no
If you didn't have an en suite she wouldn't be able to use it, and would have to use what was available.
And if she stayed in a hotel the shower would have been over a bath anyway

YADNBU. I think it's really weird to use someone's en suite

As it happens, you have a shower for her to use, but even if you just had, gasp!, a bath ??, then she could just use that for goodness sake.

Is she perhaps nervous about slipping in the bath?

Lol vezzie!Or lend them your moon cup you made in pottery class.

Did we get to the bottom of what was objectionable to the shower over bath scenario? I know sometimes they aren't very powerful. I wonder if the shower in the ensuite is more of a power shower and she knows she will get a better shower by using it.

Either way it's still rude. As a guest I would use the facilities that were offered and nothing more. This site does seem to be populated by women who have very dubious taste in friends. Get more selective and choose some acquaintances who have manners or stop being cordial to those who don't.

Don't answer the question in advance. When she comes, show her to her bedroom and the bathroom. If the subject of the shower comes up again, just say, "Oh ...there's nothing wrong with the shower in the bathroom."

The OP asked for opinions and people gave their opinions.

The guest sounds like a loon with a bath phobia and the OP sounds weirdly territorial of a shower. If it was my friend I’d ask ‘why have you such a loony attitude to baths’ rather than wasting my time thinking up silly ways to distract her from my en suite.

Be up front - you're not happy for someone else to use your en-suite, it may (or may not) be daft, but hey ho, that's the way you feel.

Friend sounds odd to even make the request tbh.

My ensuite is my space - even DH and DS don't use it. We will have a houseful at Xmas and I will be fine with anyone using it then but generally when we have guests they use the main bathroom or downstairs shower.

Has she stayed at yours before OP?

How did the conversation arise?, I mean, after all, you've been gracious enough to offer her a bed for the night, so after she thanked you she came out with this?

Bizarre request after your generosity don't you think?

She is pushy to ask.

Just tell her no you don't like people using your shower.

She can always make other arrangements.

I don't understand his making demands in other people's house thing.. just tell her no.

What is wrong with the shower over the bath? Has she used it and found there was a problem with it?

If there isn't an extremely good reason why the shower in the bath isn't suitable I would be emailing to say sorry, her visit isn't now convenient and she had better organise a hotel.

lattelover