AIBU in not wanting my guest to use my personal shower?

[TillHammerZeit]

I suspect that I may be,but we'll see.

I'm going to have a guest staying overnight,on her way to another destination.

She informed me that as she doesn't like showers in baths,that she'd like to use my en suite shower. I'm not really happy about this. Perhaps unreasonably so,but it's my space,and I'd prefer her to use the main bathroom to shower. It has a 'real' shower fitted in there. Yes,she has to step over the bath to use it,but that's easy,and she has no mobility problems,or issues that mean it'd be difficult for her. I would of course allow it if that was an issue.

So WIBU to say no?

[DartmoorDoughnut]

YANBU

[HolyQuadrityDrinkFeckArseGirls]

What would she do in a hotel? Showers are often over the baths.

[Hassled]

You don't sound odd at all - maybe it would be less of an issue if the nosey cousin hadn't been caught reading private medical letters. She can use the bath shower and be bloody grateful.

[magicstar1]

I'd just play along and say of course she can use it. Then on the day, tell her it's broken and she'll have to use the other one.

[Flipflops7]

What Castlemilk said.

[Claybury]

Are there really people who have en suites who forbid access to their partners ?
Can I ask why?

[BlueBrightBlue]

Leave this in the soap dish:
t.fod4.com/t/17f23642db/c480x270_17.jpg

[CiderwithBuda]

I have an ensuite that DH doesn't use. He isn't forbidden - he prefers the main bathroom shower as it is bigger. I hate the main bathroom shower as it's too big! Is a walk in shower and I find it cold.

[QuietNinjaTardis]

Why would vezzie prefer netmums? Because she thought people were irrationally rude about something that's important to the op? In that case I'd prefer netmums too no way in hell vezzie made a perfectly sensible point. You just didn't like it.

[Cerisier]

You don't sound odd at all. I would not want guests using my en suite unless they could provide an extremely good reason for it. I certainly wouldn't be inviting anyone back who had been snooping in a drawer either. I think you are being a bit of a doormat. Stand up for yourself, it is your house and your guest shouldn't be making you uncomfortable. Why should her feelings trump yours when you are doing her a favour?

[MehsMum]

OP, your nosey, demanding cousin sounds MUCH odder than you do. You don't really sound odd at all - you don't trust her, so why should you want her trailing through your bedroom?

Go with Legionofboom: 'Oh, the bathroom one is brilliant... really it is... it's only one night, after all.' And if she still goes on, say, in a joking tone, 'Look, I'm giving you free bed and board - what more do you want - the Ritz?'

[arna]

Mil asked to use our ensuite bathroom despite the guest room having a walk in ensuite shower and the family bathroom having a bath and a separate shower. I said that I deliberately planned multiple bathrooms and sorry, no kids or guests allowed in my sanctuary! Just say no!

[Hissy]

Nope, not odd, she has form.

Your ensuite is OFF LIMITS!

[bbcessex]

Tillhammer.. you are absolutely NOT odd.. don't listen to people on this thread and take it as the norm... I can't believe the number of people who think you're bonkers because you don't want to share your personal space with someone. I can only imagine the room-sharers / uni students are still out in force...

[temporaryusername]

I know some houses where the only shower is the en-suite, shared bathroom is bath only. So I'm used to the idea of all guests using the en-suite. If you are certain there is no physical need for her to use your shower, then it is an odd request and I would just say firmly you prefer her not to or make an excuse. To be honest if you've found her going through your personal papers, and she expects you to buy her clothes etc, I wouldn't have offered. Maybe you should try and get out of the whole thing.

[ShirleyYoureNotSerious]

"She has stayed before,and I caught her looking through personal medical letters in a drawer."



You weren't being unreasonable to begin with! And this? ^

You don't need to tell her she can't use your en suite, you need to say that she can't visit at all!

Never mind hosting her, why are you even talking to her?

Please tell her this:

"No, you can't use my ensuite. I'm not comfortable with people intruding upon my personal space, especially as I found you searching for and then reading my medical letters last time you visited".

The little madam needs putting in her place.

[SallyMcgally]

YANBU or odd. It's pretty rude to ask to use an en-suite bathroom when there's another perfectly good one. Who does that? Your cousin obviously. Just say no - and if she makes an issue of it, point out that you didn't really appreciate her reading your letters last time. And if she sulks you won't have to put up with her princess ways next time.
vezzie

[Shelby2010]

So she 'just mentioned' to the person with the conveniently situated house that she would need somewhere to stay - in such a way that you felt it would be rude not to invite her. And now she wants your bathroom. Next it will be that the guest bed is too small so can she use yours & don't forget to bring her a cup of tea up at 8 am. By the way, her DD wakes up at 5.30 so could you give her breakfast and entertain her until then.

What's the MN mantra? 'No' is a complete sentence.

[alemci]

I think it is rude of her to ask so say no and don't let her stay

[FreeSpiritsBadAttitude]

I don't think you're bonkers at all, OP. If she is really insistent she doesn't want to use the bath-shower give her a bowl and a flannel.

[Legionofboom]

Hand her this when she arrives

[ChelsyHandy]

Its presumptious of her. You are providing her with free accommodation and hospitality. Its very rude of her to start criticising whats being offered. And seriously, it won't hurt her to use a shower over a bath for one night.

[Vicky5910]

No way does she actually have a problem with showers over baths, she is fibbing to snoop about your house! Weirdo. I'd say the main bathroom is free to use but you charge hotel fees for the use of your en-suite :D

[Siarie]

Haha, I kind of get what she is saying but I would never say it to someone hosting me! My gosh some of the showers I've had to try and use over the years, you just get on with it.

Just tell her you'd rather she didn't use your en suite shower as it makes you feel uncomfortable (I get what you are saying about that also). I don't like using a shower that someone I'm not familiar with has used. Totally fine with sharing with my DH but I don't even like having to clean the guest en suite after someone has used it to be honest.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

"Plus she's known for snooping around."

"She has stayed before,and I caught her looking through personal medical letters in a drawer. I was less than thrilled."

TillHammerZeit, the only thing I find odd about you is that, given the above, you invited this nosey little madam into your home at all. You're a better person than I am.

"She mentioned that she was going to destination X,and needed to find a hotel,as she didn't want to do all the travelling in one day with a baby. I felt it'd be rude not to offer to put her and her dd up for one night,as my home is ideally situated for a stopover."
See, to me, that reeks of 'set up'. She put you in a position that she knew would lead to your generous self making the offer. She wants another trawl through your personal stuff.

Given that there is already a shower at her disposal, I would laugh in her face about the not liking showers in baths. It's fabricated, total tosh, she's just trying to gain access to your personal space so that she can have another snoop. Tell her no, and if the shower in the bath is such a problem she is welcome to go to a hotel instead. Do not allow your cousin to browbeat you. Get angry!