I need to take a deep breath and calm down because I refuse to be called a bridezilla

[PandaFeet]

I am typing on here to keep my thumbs from sending a text that will act like a nuclear bomb.

Getting married in 3 weeks. Hen night booked two months ago. Today one of the bridesmaids has decided she's not going, instead she's going out with her new flatmates. She is the grooms sister!!

As if that's not bad enough, she lied to me and said she couldn't get it off work. Ha! So even she knows that she's in the wrong, or else why lie.

I want to text her and ask why is she even being bridesmaid when she has no interest in the wedding, won't even go to the hen do.

I probably am being a bridezilla. But its hurtful and its hard enough organising everything without a bridesmaid of all people doing this so close to the wedding. And in her text message she's worded it so it sounds like we are even putting her out expecting her to go to the wedding. But if I even say anything I will end up being the one in the wrong, so I have to just grit my teeth and smile through it.

And breathe.

[PandaFeet]

I went round this morning to see mil about something totally unrelated, and SIL was there and didn't come out of her room (she hasn't moved out just yet.)

So yeah. I couldn't even be bright and breezy. She's avoiding me.

[PlumpPartridge]

She could just be lazy, TBF.

Please try not to worry about her - she will be the least important member of the bridal party on your big day.

[Catsize]

I think she wants to marry her brother.

[Mintyy]

What does mil say about sil pulling out of the hen night? I hope you mentioned it!

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

Well I think you're doing exactly the right thing. Vent on here, gracious in rl :)

I think you sound very laid back btw, not a smidgen of bridezilla

[GoEasyPudding]

She sounds quite young and a total void of manners and I think that's enough reason for you to not officially care one way or another.

Make sure the photographer knows there might be one sulky face in his lense on the day and ask him to group you and photograph you with your happy maids individually as well as in a group.

[PandaFeet]

No I didn't mention it because I know that mil is annoyed about it too and I don't think its fair that she should feel like she is being held accountable for sils actions.

[Mintyy]

Ah well, it sounds like you have a good relationship with mil. Long may it continue!

Sil needs to grow up doesn't she? I expect mil is embarrassed about it all.

[shebird]

Sounds like she is a bit immature and perhaps got caught up in the whole wanting to wear and nice dress and be part of the fuss on the day idea. The problem is she is not interested in the rest of the wedding events. Really you've only asked her as a favour to your DP she is not a best friend or close relative to you. I would just let it go.

[CommanderShepard]

My best friend is from another country and when planning her wedding sat me and our other best friend down and explained that in her culture there are no bridesmaids so she'd be adhering to that and it wasn't in any way a slight on us. I think to be honest her culture has THE COOL.