AIBU: MNHQ's thoughts and what you can do

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello there

We've seen a fair number of posts recently about AIBU, and specifically about whether there's a problem in terms of some posters being gratuitously aggressive, even if the posts aren't particularly guideline-breaking in any other way.

We've done some careful monitoring of AIBU over the last couple of weeks and... We agree. Quite a few threads in AIBU do seem to veer off into a pointlessly unpleasant direction with very little provocation.

So from now on, we're going be looking out for posters who seem to put the boot in a bit too readily, and we'll be dropping them "polite mails" asking them to draw their horns in a bit. (And then if they carry on, we'll take further action.)

We'll also remove the text from the header about AIBU not being a fight club, because it's possible that this was (perversely) prompting people to think it was a fight club.

We'd really, really like to enlist your help in making AIBU a more pleasant and constructive place to post.

First off, please don't feel you have wait for an MNHQ response: the MN forums are what you, collectively, make of them, and you can set the tone. If you think an OP is being rounded on, go on and post - and say (without making personal attacks) if you think other posts have crossed a line in terms of meanness or aggression. (Feel free to refer posters back to this thread!)

But also, please report. Not necessarily because you think a post is deletable, but if you think a poster could do with getting one of our polite mails.

To be completely clear: AIBU is exactly the same as all the other topics on Mumsnet, and the same rules apply. Ideally, we want MN to be a place where people can discuss, share, entertain each other, and seek advice and support. It's not a place for posters to take lumps out of each other for no reason, and with no intention of offering constructive/interesting/funny input.

Thanks,
MNHQ

OK, well, how about if, rather than 'emailing' a poster when they are found to be being a cow, MNHQ took away the offending posters ability to name change?

ie: you've been bitchy under the name XYZ - so now that's the name you're stuck with! For 6 months. Like community service

I never notice posters' names unless I'm on a huge ongoing thread e.g. Corrie lovers. Then I might, especially if they are funny or informative (or agree with me).
There are a few on Primary Ed that seem to be experts in their field who I recognise.
Other than that I never look but am aware that others have arguments across threads or lie in wait for others to turn up so perhaps I'm in the minority.

Oh that's a great idea fluffy!

Now that MN is challenging how people behave on AIBU it's bringing out a lot of defensive responses.

Publicly name the posters who get reported the most.

I think having near identical names to other posters should also be stopped, in the past it has been used a ruse to post offensive/goady posts.

Yes, if someone is reported how difficult would it be for MN to do a quick check on NCs and whether they have been reported before under another name.

But think a trial period of no AIBU would be good just to see if it made any difference and the goaders drifted away. Maybe for about, well, 5 years?

@BertieBotts

To prevent sockpuppeting - what if Tech could create a behind the scenes feature which flags up if a poster with one poster ID was posting on the same thread with 2 or more different usernames?

We do have this Bertie! Tis v easy for us to see if someone NCs on a thread or two people are posting from the same IP but different accounts.

Glad to see this is going to be monitored and dealt with more forcefully.

I've been on MN for a while now, maybe 18 months/2 years and it's become so nasty recently that I've pretty much stopped posting - not sure that's made much difference to anyone, but still. And it not just on AIBU I've noticed a change for the worse either.

It's horrible to see people coming on MN for help and advice being ripped to pieces by a few people who seem to trawl through the posts looking for ways to put the boot in. Truly nasty.

So well done.

@Kimaroo

Yes, if someone is reported how difficult would it be for MN to do a quick check on NCs and whether they have been reported before under another name.

We can also see v quickly how often a poster has been reported, under all/any of their names

I like name changing. Although I have kept my main name for several years I have also name changed for specific situations.
When I could be identified professionally
When I have asked for advice about where to meet DD after a night out - I really didn't want the world to know where I was meeting a 15 year old
When I want to rant about something or someone and I don't want close family (who know my user name) to know
It is because I can NC quickly when I need to that mumsnet offers the support I am looking for.

Please let this not turn into a reg-bashing/clique-bashing thread - it's not what this one is about (and no we don't have rooooles about staying on topic but I'm making an executive decision )

You may know who we are but you still have to catch us!

Ner ner

I've not been on here very long but there are posters whose names I 'recognise', sometimes I agree with them sometimes I don't, much as in RL.

I think posters who turn up and do the "couldn't be bothered to read that have you not heard of paragraphs OP" should definitely be recipients of the 'polite' e-mail. There was an OP recently, it did have paragraphs but the middle paragraph was very long and descriptive, it wasn't an easy block to successfully put into paragraphs, and the very first response was "Couldn't be arsed to read that, PARAGRAPHS OP!!" It actually reflects really badly on the person who posted it and their ability to read, but even so it is just so unnecessary.

@HotPinkWeaselWearingLederhosen

You may know who we are but you still have to catch us!

Ner ner

Please let this not turn into a reg-bashing/clique-bashing thread - it's not what this one is about (and no we don't have rooooles about staying on topic but I'm making an executive decision )

You're only saying that because your the most regular* non name changer on this thread.

*in terms of posting that is. I'm not making assumptions of your bowels.

@emotionsecho

I've not been on here very long but there are posters whose names I 'recognise', sometimes I agree with them sometimes I don't, much as in RL.

I think posters who turn up and do the "couldn't be bothered to read that have you not heard of paragraphs OP" should definitely be recipients of the 'polite' e-mail. There was an OP recently, it did have paragraphs but the middle paragraph was very long and descriptive, it wasn't an easy block to successfully put into paragraphs, and the very first response was "Couldn't be arsed to read that, PARAGRAPHS OP!!" It actually reflects really badly on the person who posted it and their ability to read, but even so it is just so unnecessary.

Feel free to report things like this. (Not saying we're promising to take action in every single case - but we will always have a look.)

MNHQ is all seeing all knowing (and thank god they are!)

To be fair emoticons that poster got politely and firmly burned for that shitty remark throughout the thread.

I report mean posts but I don't tell the poster that I am doing it. However, I do post that I think their post or posts are out of order. It gives them a chance to explain or apologise. I'm not always great at explaining things myself so I understand that other posters can make honest mistakes when posting.

BertieBotts
To prevent sockpuppeting - what if Tech could create a behind the scenes feature which flags up if a poster with one poster ID was posting on the same thread with 2 or more different usernames?

RowanMumsnet(MNHQ)
We do have this Bertie! Tis v easy for us to see if someone NCs on a thread or two people are posting from the same IP but different accounts.

As a frequent name changer I live in fear of accidentally sock puppeting so I very rarely comment on a thread if it goes into hundreds of posts.

On that matter, is there any thought to bringing down the maximum number of posts on a thread from 1,000? Do any new/varied points ever get made after the first 300? Do newcomers say "I haven't RTFT but here's my opinion" and either stir up something that was settled pages ago or is just irrelevant?