AIBU: MNHQ's thoughts and what you can do

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello there

We've seen a fair number of posts recently about AIBU, and specifically about whether there's a problem in terms of some posters being gratuitously aggressive, even if the posts aren't particularly guideline-breaking in any other way.

We've done some careful monitoring of AIBU over the last couple of weeks and... We agree. Quite a few threads in AIBU do seem to veer off into a pointlessly unpleasant direction with very little provocation.

So from now on, we're going be looking out for posters who seem to put the boot in a bit too readily, and we'll be dropping them "polite mails" asking them to draw their horns in a bit. (And then if they carry on, we'll take further action.)

We'll also remove the text from the header about AIBU not being a fight club, because it's possible that this was (perversely) prompting people to think it was a fight club.

We'd really, really like to enlist your help in making AIBU a more pleasant and constructive place to post.

First off, please don't feel you have wait for an MNHQ response: the MN forums are what you, collectively, make of them, and you can set the tone. If you think an OP is being rounded on, go on and post - and say (without making personal attacks) if you think other posts have crossed a line in terms of meanness or aggression. (Feel free to refer posters back to this thread!)

But also, please report. Not necessarily because you think a post is deletable, but if you think a poster could do with getting one of our polite mails.

To be completely clear: AIBU is exactly the same as all the other topics on Mumsnet, and the same rules apply. Ideally, we want MN to be a place where people can discuss, share, entertain each other, and seek advice and support. It's not a place for posters to take lumps out of each other for no reason, and with no intention of offering constructive/interesting/funny input.

Thanks,
MNHQ

[BitchyVstheUFOs]

Tbf if someone isn't really interested in reading a thread they are not going to read it. I had a thread which was under 50 posts that was not read from the first few posts. Posters saw the title and jumped in without properly reading the op. It resulted in a circular thread and people getting irrate because i didn't want to disguss the side background issue, I actually wanted help on the problem. Not sure who more frustated me or the individuals who hadn't read the thread.

threads move and can move fast, i like the pages function as it means i can refresh quicker, don't know why it makes a difference but it does. Still means that sometimes you are writing your post and it is already half a mile out of date by the time it has posted. We all know this happens but some times we forget it when the flow of discussion is hugely fast moving of highly emotive.

I can't comment too much on the specifics of ABIU i have had it hidden for years. But there is less humour and more seriousness to MN. It is like the recession and being led controlled by fear by the politicians and newspapers means that no one is allowed to be happy and light hearted. I had to find light hearted in RL so went awol. Mind you I name change a lot and am due a name change soon. It is a feature I really appreciate.

Re clicks and quiches, if you spend a lot of time in mn there are only so many threads that will interest you, you will often wind up on the same threads as other posters not because you have been following them, but because you have just spent a lot of time on mn/have similar interests. It looks like clickiness to newbies but really it is just spending a lot of time on mn. I used to regularly on threads with a lot of the regulars on this thread. Most won't have a clue who I am due to name changes in the awol period. And the only reason for that is that i have been spending more time in rl than mn recently.

There are so many cases where things have not been deleted quickly, i can think of some pretty horrific trolls incidents that happened during the night that were left up way too long. It is not a new problem. And it is an issue that MNHQ really need to get to grips with. yes self modding is great but if we are doing the reporting and there is no back up the system isn't working. I am not saying lets change the way mn is modded but lets make sure there is someone to do the backing up and if you know it is likely to be busy then put on extra people or have a back up system with extra peeps on call to support and help.

If things are not going to be deleted for ages then it is worth committing it to the forum, people will see it and reactions gained. If it gets zapped quickly then there is less point in posting for the sake of deletion because the point won't be made to an audience it will have been zapped.

There are some very good points in a thread that is hugely long. And this post a novel rather than a post

[BitchyVstheUFOs]

I could now correct all the typos and sentence structure issues. But I shall just humbly mutter appologies and blame it on the time and lack of sleep

[Oblomov]

I'm a bit confused as to what this thread has achieved. The conclusions ARE?
What EXACTLY is going to change / be actioned?

[Pinkrose1]

I think it is a fact finding exercise and from there they will look at how certain issues can be tackled.

[Stresshead123]

Great idea, I am new to MN & was surprised by the nastiness/implication in some replies I had on Aibu