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MNHQ

AIBU: MNHQ's thoughts and what you can do

20 replies

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 11:19

Hello there

We've seen a fair number of posts recently about AIBU, and specifically about whether there's a problem in terms of some posters being gratuitously aggressive, even if the posts aren't particularly guideline-breaking in any other way.

We've done some careful monitoring of AIBU over the last couple of weeks and... We agree. Quite a few threads in AIBU do seem to veer off into a pointlessly unpleasant direction with very little provocation.

So from now on, we're going be looking out for posters who seem to put the boot in a bit too readily, and we'll be dropping them "polite mails" asking them to draw their horns in a bit. (And then if they carry on, we'll take further action.)

We'll also remove the text from the header about AIBU not being a fight club, because it's possible that this was (perversely) prompting people to think it was a fight club.

We'd really, really like to enlist your help in making AIBU a more pleasant and constructive place to post.

First off, please don't feel you have wait for an MNHQ response: the MN forums are what you, collectively, make of them, and you can set the tone. If you think an OP is being rounded on, go on and post - and say (without making personal attacks) if you think other posts have crossed a line in terms of meanness or aggression. (Feel free to refer posters back to this thread!)

But also, please report. Not necessarily because you think a post is deletable, but if you think a poster could do with getting one of our polite mails.

To be completely clear: AIBU is exactly the same as all the other topics on Mumsnet, and the same rules apply. Ideally, we want MN to be a place where people can discuss, share, entertain each other, and seek advice and support. It's not a place for posters to take lumps out of each other for no reason, and with no intention of offering constructive/interesting/funny input.

Thanks,
MNHQ

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MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 11:40

Thanks all. You ARE all going to go on the threads concerned and be desperately reasonable and constructive aren't you

Was just looking at our meta description of AIBU and it's 'Your quandaries, peer-reviewed'. Which is nice.

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 11:45

@ExitPursuedByAKoalaBear

Oh no Rowan. I am far too lily livered for that!

OK we will put you down for 'lots of reports' then Wink

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 11:56

Yes please to unhiding and reasonableness Grin

We're happy to consider Petty Gripes if there's a call for it. We should say though that we wouldn't forcibly move threads from AIBU (or anywhere else) to Petty Gripes unless the OP wanted us to.

Plus we don't want to set up Petty Gripes just as an admission that AIBU is off the rails, if you see what we mean - we need to get AIBU back on the rails, not leave everyone in AIBU to eat each other alive Grin

But yes, happy to think about it if people want it?

And re namechanging: it's difficult because the anonymity allowed by our namechanging rules is, we think, a really important part of the site, and one that newbies are just as likely to want to make use of (especially in emergency situations) as people who've been around a while.

That's not to say we'd never consider any restriction of namechanging - just that we'd have to think very carefully about how it was done and whether it would affect genuinely vulnerable people in difficult situations. So it's a bit of a chewy one.

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 12:07

BUT - re namechanging - when we say report, we really do mean we'll welcome reports even if it's not someone you've already noticed being mean elsewhere. Just a quick 'mean AIBU response' or something in the comments box will be fine.

We always take a look and have a sniff around, so don't worry that you'll automatically be putting a black mark against someone who just happens to be having a funny five minutes but is usually lovely.

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 12:28

We'll be equal opportunities emailers, Stratter5 - very happy to email oldies as well as newbies. And all the '-bies' in between. Just send us a report and we'll do the rest.

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 14:55

@BertieBotts

To prevent sockpuppeting - what if Tech could create a behind the scenes feature which flags up if a poster with one poster ID was posting on the same thread with 2 or more different usernames?

We do have this Bertie! Tis v easy for us to see if someone NCs on a thread or two people are posting from the same IP but different accounts.

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 14:57

@Kimaroo

Yes, if someone is reported how difficult would it be for MN to do a quick check on NCs and whether they have been reported before under another name.

We can also see v quickly how often a poster has been reported, under all/any of their names

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 14:59

Please let this not turn into a reg-bashing/clique-bashing thread - it's not what this one is about (and no we don't have rooooles about staying on topic but I'm making an executive decision Wink)

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 15:02

@HotPinkWeaselWearingLederhosen

You may know who we are but you still have to catch us!

Ner ner

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 15:02

@emotionsecho

I've not been on here very long but there are posters whose names I 'recognise', sometimes I agree with them sometimes I don't, much as in RL.

I think posters who turn up and do the "couldn't be bothered to read that have you not heard of paragraphs OP" should definitely be recipients of the 'polite' e-mailGrin. There was an OP recently, it did have paragraphs but the middle paragraph was very long and descriptive, it wasn't an easy block to successfully put into paragraphs, and the very first response was "Couldn't be arsed to read that, PARAGRAPHS OP!!" It actually reflects really badly on the person who posted it and their ability to read, but even so it is just so unnecessary.

Feel free to report things like this. (Not saying we're promising to take action in every single case - but we will always have a look.)

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 15:10

@greyhoundgymnastics

Rowan - 'Tis v easy for us to see if someone NCs on a thread or two people are posting from the same IP but different accounts.'

Just as a q, I have two emails regged with MN, because I could never work out how to name change Grin

I only use this one now (and was never goady!), but was that actually breaking rules?

Fraid so! Want to mail in with details and we'll provide you with a step-by-step in how to namechange?

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 15:14

@Staryyeyedsurprise

BertieBotts To prevent sockpuppeting - what if Tech could create a behind the scenes feature which flags up if a poster with one poster ID was posting on the same thread with 2 or more different usernames?

RowanMumsnet(MNHQ)
We do have this Bertie! Tis v easy for us to see if someone NCs on a thread or two people are posting from the same IP but different accounts.

As a frequent name changer I live in fear of accidentally sock puppeting so I very rarely comment on a thread if it goes into hundreds of posts.

Don't worry Stary - we only leap into action if people seem to be doing it to mislead, eg by having long conversations with themselves or posting to back themselves up. Although we may also take action if someone flashes their tits at us

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 15:20

@WorraLiberty

Although we may also take action if someone flashes their tits at us

Unless they're breastfeeding at the time! Shock

Oh lawks. Yes of course unless that.

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 15:24

@Roussette

Being a bit stupid, can I ask if sockpuppeting is where you post on a thread under two different names? (I've been here a long time but don't know this and am now wondering why I don't know this... Smile)

Yes, broadly sockpuppeting is exactly that.

However, we only take action if we think it's being done for nefarious porpoises.

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 15:34

I Googled 'nefarious porpoise' and I got this

(plus lots of pictures of dolphins. Are they the same thing?)

AIBU: MNHQ's thoughts and what you can do
MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 15:37

Genuinely very sorry if it came across as schoolmarmish, ADishBestEatenCold - that's something we try very hard to avoid.

We felt the need to do this because when we did a bit of pro-active monitoring (which is something we almost never do) of AIBU threads, we were a bit surprised by the things that weren't being reported. And from quite a few threads about this that we've had recently, it was becoming apparent that lots of posters had either stopped reporting because they thought it was OK if it was in AIBU, or because they'd hidden AIBU altogether.

So this isn't (as you say) a policy change - more a reset, if that makes sense. We do already mail posters if we think their tone is a bit off; it's just that posters who post in an 'off' way in AIBU were rarely getting reported.

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 16:14

@ExcuseTypos

And from quite a few threads about this that we've had recently, it was becoming apparent that lots of posters had either stopped reporting because they thought it was OK if it was in AIBU, or because they'd hidden AIBU altogether

I am really shocked to read this is what MNHQ think.

It's NOT that people have AIBU hidden or that we think its ok, it's because the vast majority think there is very little point in reporting. As Worra says, it often takes hours for anything to be done, by which time the damage had been done. So what is the point in reporting?

If MNHQ are saying that if we report, action will be taken within minutes rather than hours, then that's brilliant.

We're really sorry if things we've done have made people feel like there's no point in reporting.

We can't, we're afraid, promise responses within minutes. Our workload fluctuates massively - some days there are hundreds of reports coming in from all directions, and we have to read lots of 700-post threads to find out what's going on. Other days just seem to be less bunfighty and we can respond more quickly.

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 16:38

@WorraLiberty

We can't, we're afraid, promise responses within minutes. Our workload fluctuates massively - some days there are hundreds of reports coming in from all directions, and we have to read lots of 700-post threads to find out what's going on. Other days just seem to be less bunfighty and we can respond more quickly.

I totally understand that 100% and the only alternative would be to outsource the moderation, which would be an awful idea imo.

But we're still left with the fact that MNHQ are again asking posters to 'report, report, report'...and yet you all struggle at times to deal with those reports.

That is why many of us have given up.

It's a bit of a no win situation because off the back of this thread, you'll probably get tons more reports that you're too busy to deal with.

August is usually a quiet time for us - well, quiet in comparison with the rest of the year - so with luck and a fair wind we'll be able to dive in fairly swiftly I am so going to regret committing this to paper

Ideally, a flurry of activity and 'oi'-ing on our part will see a self-sustaining sea-change in AIBU fairly quickly, and get us back to a situation where self-moderation works better (which is always our aim) and posters feel able to go on threads and say 'goodness, I do think that's not quite cricket'.

MNHQ

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 17:56

@CrystalSkulls

Rowan... obviously now we've got tacit permission to report and self police visibly, can we also have some protection from the people who when you DO post on a thread to go 'whoa, hang on a minute, calm down' then attack you and start throwing around 'who appointed you the thread police' and 'this is AIBU, what did you expect' lines?

Do please report anything like this and we will take a look - and probably come and post on the thread to explain what we've asked people to do.

MNHQ

IonaMumsnet · 25/07/2014 22:32

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