AIBU: MNHQ's thoughts and what you can do

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello there

We've seen a fair number of posts recently about AIBU, and specifically about whether there's a problem in terms of some posters being gratuitously aggressive, even if the posts aren't particularly guideline-breaking in any other way.

We've done some careful monitoring of AIBU over the last couple of weeks and... We agree. Quite a few threads in AIBU do seem to veer off into a pointlessly unpleasant direction with very little provocation.

So from now on, we're going be looking out for posters who seem to put the boot in a bit too readily, and we'll be dropping them "polite mails" asking them to draw their horns in a bit. (And then if they carry on, we'll take further action.)

We'll also remove the text from the header about AIBU not being a fight club, because it's possible that this was (perversely) prompting people to think it was a fight club.

We'd really, really like to enlist your help in making AIBU a more pleasant and constructive place to post.

First off, please don't feel you have wait for an MNHQ response: the MN forums are what you, collectively, make of them, and you can set the tone. If you think an OP is being rounded on, go on and post - and say (without making personal attacks) if you think other posts have crossed a line in terms of meanness or aggression. (Feel free to refer posters back to this thread!)

But also, please report. Not necessarily because you think a post is deletable, but if you think a poster could do with getting one of our polite mails.

To be completely clear: AIBU is exactly the same as all the other topics on Mumsnet, and the same rules apply. Ideally, we want MN to be a place where people can discuss, share, entertain each other, and seek advice and support. It's not a place for posters to take lumps out of each other for no reason, and with no intention of offering constructive/interesting/funny input.

Thanks,
MNHQ

I KNOW! Sorry. I can't believe I have called Maryz a cuntbag. That's the MN equivalent of headbutting a panda.

Part of the fun is not looking at much of the thread at all then you can make as many silly assumptions as you like about the poster and their motives.

I think certain topics bring out certain bullies. Mention informing on benefit cheat and someone will come in with an agenda. Mention obese women and another and so on. As for P&C car parking .

I am sure it will be business as usual in the near future on AIBU but maybe MNHQ can put up a few warning signs then maybe the baiters and goady twats can just rip into each other and leave the unwary alone.

I've seen a red panda up a tree at maxwell zoo. It's very small and you could see bugger all.

I have never been bullied on MN at all but I don't put much on generally. I just like geeky stuff. So don't fret on my behalf you panda fans.

Well, bugger me. Is that what a red panda looks like?
That's a cute wee bastard isn't it.

Pinkrose1 please would you define for me what you mean by bullies? I think, from what you've posted, that you're referring to posters who are nasty/unpleasant/goady, etc. And whilst this is obviously unacceptable, it is totally different from bullying.

I see very little bullying but I think one poster following another round the boards just to tell her she is wrong/entitled/rude/privileged would come close. Being "robust" on a single thread wouldn't hit the bullying trigger for me.

Sorry, that sounded very accusatory, and I was being general. Usually one doesn't notice until the victim says "you again?! Leave me alone."

Definition of a bully
synonyms: persecute, oppress, tyrannize, torment, browbeat, intimidate, cow, coerce, strong-arm, subjugate, domineer; More
coerce, pressure, pressurize, bring pressure to bear on, use pressure on, put pressure on, constrain, lean on, press, push;
force, compel, oblige, put under an obligation;
hound, harass, nag, harry, badger, goad, prod, pester, browbeat, brainwash, bludgeon, persuade, prevail on, work on, act on, influence, intimidate, etc....

Oh look. Goad is in there!
Definitely not unpleasant or nasty though because no one being bullied would think their tormentor any of those things

Almost impossible to police Beertrick. MN would need to employ a few hundred more staff!

Ferrets are from the dog family and a weasel is like a ferret. As long as they are not pigs as plenty of those will be flapping about in trees before MNHQ sort AIBU out.

Yes red pandas are not bears but Giant Pandas are

Several
Times
On
Purpose

That's the one they use in my niece's school.
I think I know the one you mean though, MZ. Well, obviously I don't otherwise is have said that one but I think I remember seeing it and agreeing!

Those little panda thingies do look more weasel-y than bear-y.

If the little tiny ferret cap fits then wear it

I only came on to ask about my petunias. Why are they so leggy and look like they've gone over? Do I cut them back?

And what is this flower? Looks like a delphinium but the leaves are all wrong.

It's come into my bloody garden, bullying its way through my flowerbed! Bastard!

Bastard bully