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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

AIBU: MNHQ's thoughts and what you can do

980 replies

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 11:19

Hello there

We've seen a fair number of posts recently about AIBU, and specifically about whether there's a problem in terms of some posters being gratuitously aggressive, even if the posts aren't particularly guideline-breaking in any other way.

We've done some careful monitoring of AIBU over the last couple of weeks and... We agree. Quite a few threads in AIBU do seem to veer off into a pointlessly unpleasant direction with very little provocation.

So from now on, we're going be looking out for posters who seem to put the boot in a bit too readily, and we'll be dropping them "polite mails" asking them to draw their horns in a bit. (And then if they carry on, we'll take further action.)

We'll also remove the text from the header about AIBU not being a fight club, because it's possible that this was (perversely) prompting people to think it was a fight club.

We'd really, really like to enlist your help in making AIBU a more pleasant and constructive place to post.

First off, please don't feel you have wait for an MNHQ response: the MN forums are what you, collectively, make of them, and you can set the tone. If you think an OP is being rounded on, go on and post - and say (without making personal attacks) if you think other posts have crossed a line in terms of meanness or aggression. (Feel free to refer posters back to this thread!)

But also, please report. Not necessarily because you think a post is deletable, but if you think a poster could do with getting one of our polite mails.

To be completely clear: AIBU is exactly the same as all the other topics on Mumsnet, and the same rules apply. Ideally, we want MN to be a place where people can discuss, share, entertain each other, and seek advice and support. It's not a place for posters to take lumps out of each other for no reason, and with no intention of offering constructive/interesting/funny input.

Thanks,
MNHQ

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
MrsKwazii · 25/07/2014 16:30

You know the "MNHQ have commented on this thread" header, perhaps something similar stating "The OP has now agreed that they ABU" would stop the continued piling-in that occurs Wink

I really like the idea of highlighting all of the OP's posts too.

Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2014 16:32

On my MN I am pink and the OP is blue. Smile

Thumbwitch · 25/07/2014 16:35

I don't know about that, Sparkling - I just like to put in my tuppenceworth, even if hundreds a couple of other posters have already said the same thing. Grin

bruffin · 25/07/2014 16:36

I really like the idea of highlighting all of the OP's posts too.

You can
go to customize and there is a highlight option for OP's post and your own posts. This doesnt work on the app but it does work on the mobile site

Inabagdown · 25/07/2014 16:36

And there was a lot more wit, i.e. intelligent humour, evident than there is these days. Martianbishop was a classic case in point - her posts were legendary.

I dont know Martianbishop. But I do know the wit you are talking about.
But often, quite often in fact, such wit was often accompanied by bad grace and wind ups which got a bit nasty.
A bit likethe comedians who go too far.

Wit without nastiness is great though.

Thumbwitch · 25/07/2014 16:39

There is a fabulous thread now in classics that is full of intelligent humour and wit - it's the grabby post-wedding poem one. The quality of poetry is varied but highly entertaining! Grin

LineRunner · 25/07/2014 16:43

Weird that as soon as it went into Classics it just kind of went dormant.

Thumbwitch · 25/07/2014 16:45

You killed it, you did, Line - stone deaded.

Wink

But you're right - that IS odd. Maybe everyone was all poemed out?

Maryz · 25/07/2014 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QueenTilly · 25/07/2014 16:51

Performance anxiety. Knowing that you're contributing to a thread in Classics could well put off any poet!

Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2014 16:53

'Classics' has a bit of an 'old' ring about it. Once it's in there it really has all been said.
No a massive fan of the Classics section TBH, I suffer from 'I thinkyou had to be there, live on the thread' when I read them. It's like a thread museum.

Thumbwitch · 25/07/2014 17:00

Nah, that was a chat one, Mary - it would have gorn completely if it hadn't moved to Classics.

I agree though, there are people who stay on specific boards.

I use TIO and Active only, and rarely bother with the others unless I'm looking for something specific

shakethetree · 25/07/2014 17:05

Hey Garlic - you know you're one of my favourite posters, ever since you really made me laugh on a thread, you seem pretty laid back & you haven't got your head up your arse ( not that I can see from here anyway )
so, I'll always be reasonable with you - but.....I never read the thread ( usually just the thread title ) my ignorance in most subjects is overwhelming, but that doesn't stop me posting, I'm a bit of a dick, & I still have no idea where to put commas - which is why I tend to hang out in AIBU lolz

Pagwatch, I promise I'll never mention swearing again. this week

MrsKwazii · 25/07/2014 17:06

Thank you Bruffin I do already have OP and my posts highlighted but lots of users don't I bet. I was more agreeing with Thumb's idea that OP posts are highlighted as a matter of course through all threads to make them stand out when people skim rather than RTFT. I think lots of posters don't know about this and other functionality on the site, so making it a default position could be a good move.

MrsKwazii · 25/07/2014 17:08

That was a genuine thank you btw Bruffin Nice for someone to point out the extra twiddly bits that make MN easier to use.

MrsVamos · 25/07/2014 17:10

Some of the classics are brilliant though. Maybe its just my humour ?

I'm like Thumbwitch. I mainly use TIO and active.

Might have to think of some silly topics and see if we can have a bit of fun here for a change.

I was here for the tennis,and it was lovely seeing various 'old-timers' pop up on one thread, but yet again they have disappeared. Sad

I can remember when some of AIBU consisted of debates about toothpaste and whether pandas are bears.

Happy days, long gone.

Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2014 17:12

I do think I am a lone voice in not loving Classics. I like to have a laugh and watch the thread unfold live, not read it when it's dead IYKWIM.

I don't think any of them are very funny either. Blush

shakethetree · 25/07/2014 17:15

I'm with you sparkling - classic shite most of them.

Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2014 17:17

Well not shite exactly. Just not my cup of tea I suppose. I am not a 'spat tea all over my laptop/let out a bit of wee type of person though.

shakethetree · 25/07/2014 17:20

Good thing to have on your C.V sparkling.

Sneezecakesmum1 · 25/07/2014 17:21

AIBU to expect someone to read what I say properly especially if I am using MNs official acronyms as in - OP original post / posters?

And not call ME bloody stupid and imply I am too thick to understand the word obfus...odfusca.....obstu.... hidden!

Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2014 17:21
Confused
Roussette · 25/07/2014 17:22

Some of the classics from yonks ago were classic though... who remembers Pirate sex, that was just the best.. made me titter for ages
I'm obviously living in the past

MrsVamos · 25/07/2014 17:22

I have never spat my coffee (don't like tea) over my keyboard, but some classics have been known to make me snort or have a huge fit of the giggles.

I think perhaps I have a filthy sense of humour.

(I would also be mortified if I wet myself a bit. I'm not 40 yet). Wink Grin

I have made a pathetic attempt to liven AIBU up a bit.

Please join in and lets have a fun AIBU for a change ?

BeerTricksPotter · 25/07/2014 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.