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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

AIBU: MNHQ's thoughts and what you can do

980 replies

RowanMumsnet · 24/07/2014 11:19

Hello there

We've seen a fair number of posts recently about AIBU, and specifically about whether there's a problem in terms of some posters being gratuitously aggressive, even if the posts aren't particularly guideline-breaking in any other way.

We've done some careful monitoring of AIBU over the last couple of weeks and... We agree. Quite a few threads in AIBU do seem to veer off into a pointlessly unpleasant direction with very little provocation.

So from now on, we're going be looking out for posters who seem to put the boot in a bit too readily, and we'll be dropping them "polite mails" asking them to draw their horns in a bit. (And then if they carry on, we'll take further action.)

We'll also remove the text from the header about AIBU not being a fight club, because it's possible that this was (perversely) prompting people to think it was a fight club.

We'd really, really like to enlist your help in making AIBU a more pleasant and constructive place to post.

First off, please don't feel you have wait for an MNHQ response: the MN forums are what you, collectively, make of them, and you can set the tone. If you think an OP is being rounded on, go on and post - and say (without making personal attacks) if you think other posts have crossed a line in terms of meanness or aggression. (Feel free to refer posters back to this thread!)

But also, please report. Not necessarily because you think a post is deletable, but if you think a poster could do with getting one of our polite mails.

To be completely clear: AIBU is exactly the same as all the other topics on Mumsnet, and the same rules apply. Ideally, we want MN to be a place where people can discuss, share, entertain each other, and seek advice and support. It's not a place for posters to take lumps out of each other for no reason, and with no intention of offering constructive/interesting/funny input.

Thanks,
MNHQ

OP posts:
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BeerTricksPotter · 24/07/2014 21:19

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TantrumsAndBalloons · 24/07/2014 21:20

Why would MNHQ ban swearing?

I find loads of things offensive. I don't ask for them to be deleted from the world wide web

GarlicJulyKit · 24/07/2014 21:21

Grin Sparkling. You'd need a few sockpuppets to keep you company.

Pagwatch · 24/07/2014 21:22

But aibu isn't representative of honest opinions anymore.
It's a 'look at me' exercise in being the rudest or for trying out whatever is the put down du jour 'here, have a grip' 'entitled much' 'are you on glue' 'I feel sorry for your children'.

It's no more representative of mn than Big Brother is of ordinary people.

Maryz · 24/07/2014 21:22

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HotPinkWeaselWearingLederhosen · 24/07/2014 21:22

Christmas Yay!

some people reported MY sweary thread. MNHQ were so horrified by it they stuck intron the front page and linked it on the Twatter and the FatuousBook.

So that was me well told off for being ever so naughty.

Or possibly .... I just wasn't offensive at all?

CarrotBottom · 24/07/2014 21:22

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BeerTricksPotter · 24/07/2014 21:24

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Maryz · 24/07/2014 21:24

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Maryz · 24/07/2014 21:24

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HotPinkWeaselWearingLederhosen · 24/07/2014 21:25

Well that's a very defeatist attitude there CarrotBottom. 'Specially from someone with a rather awesome name.

WorraLiberty · 24/07/2014 21:26

Maybe we could each have say five posters we could hide. And in order to hide another one we would have to unhide someone else.

You're giving MNHQ ideas for more merchandise Grin

'Hide The Poster board game'...family fun for everyone.

I'm sure it'll be out in time for Christmas Maryz Wink

usualsuspectt · 24/07/2014 21:27

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Maryz · 24/07/2014 21:27

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7Days · 24/07/2014 21:27

tenner for a tea towel??

Maryz · 24/07/2014 21:28

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7Days · 24/07/2014 21:29

er sorry. Should refresh before posting. Still though. Ten pound

HotPinkWeaselWearingLederhosen · 24/07/2014 21:29

Certainly not Beertricks!

Are you sayin' I'm uncouth?

Roussette · 24/07/2014 21:30

When a poster starts an AIBU thread they are 99% wanting to be told they are not.
When a poster posts on AIBU they are looking to tell the OP they are BU.
Herein lies the rub. Smile

Sparklingbrook · 24/07/2014 21:30

MN board game-now there's a money spinner. Take an AIBU card-it says 'you have won 3rd prize in a beauty contest even though you are fat'or 'You have been banned-miss a turn'.

Winner gets to the end without being warned/deleted/banned?

Pagwatch · 24/07/2014 21:30

I'm not sure. Some of us regs are spunky. The gf only have their bile.

BeerTricksPotter · 24/07/2014 21:30

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Pagwatch · 24/07/2014 21:32

True Rousette.
Often borne out op saying grudgingly 'ok. I was b u' yet the 'you fucking twatty cow' posts continue into the night..,

Roussette · 24/07/2014 21:32

what's a gf?

Stratter5 · 24/07/2014 21:34

Having read all the responses, I've changed my mind about name changing; I can see why it is necessary for some posters, for reasons I hadn't thought of.

fluffy and Pag's suggestions are GENIUS. I love the idea of a goady fucker being stuck in their goady name as punishment. They'd have to either not post for x amount of time (no great loss), or brazen it out (and possibly gain some self enlightenment).

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