getting annoyed at botoxed friends getting told how young they look

[joshandjamie]

Yes, I probably am being unreasonable. And yes, I should remove my judgey pants from my overly clenched buttocks, BUT:

several of the mums from school who I hang out with have botox. And fillers. And liposuction and any other range of artificial beautifying processes beyond the normal hair, manis and make up. Each to their own. I would personally never do it because I worry about the safety side of things AND it feels like cheating.

What irritates me is that whenever they post pics of themselves on Facebook or even go out in real life, they always get loads of comments raving about how young they look, that they haven't aged a day since high school and that they're just getting more stunning by the minute. In contrast I look like the wrinkled crone in the corner.

It makes me want to yell: THAT BECAUSE THEY HAVE PUMPED THEIR FACES FULL OF BOTOX!!!

I'm going to guess that that would be unreasonable to do. (Doesn't mean I wouldn't love to do it. Just once).

I realise this makes me sound like a huge cow and I know that they are perfectly entitled to do what they like and feel good about themselves when people notice. I just think it's slightly unfair that those of us who don't 'cheat' get viewed as being old or having let themselves go, if we don't go the botox route. Am I being unreasonable to feel this way?

I do think that's true about women all thinking they look younger.

If a woman over 30 tells you her age it's almost expected that you say 'you don't look it.'

As someone else posted, fillers look good for a while but 10 years down the line faces look very weird.

Also, women who get botox/fillers etc... LOOK like they have had it done. They look younger maybe and that's great but you can always tell they've had it done so no one is actually fooled by it.

I think you are right Nancy if a 40 yr old is told no way they look their age it can be taken as a huge compliment and feed the ego a liitle nobody says god you look old do they we are conditioned youthfulness is better than a 40yr old bag

And actually I dont see any real hatred towards other women as a pp mentioned,

rainbunny thats just not true. My friends know Ive had botox on my deep line because I've told them but nobody would ever be able to look at me and know Ive had it.

unless they had a before and after photo

I think ageing is a beautiful process and nothing to be scared about. Gaining some lines looks sexier than that taut, waxy look.

I think you can always tell, in the flesh, when someone has had work done.

OP- they are probably faffing around with photoshop before they post their pics. Sometimes what looks photogenic looks odd in reality.

Things I've learned on this thread:

1. most women think they look younger than their age
2. people who've had Botox think other people can't tell they've had it

I've just had botox for the 1st time at 46. It's bloody brilliant. The lines on my forehead and the elevens between my eyes that made me look grumpy even when I'm not have gone. I went to a brilliant Dr and I can still move my eyebrows. I did it for no-one other than me!

Cosmetics research shows that an above average number of women believe they look younger than average for their age

I suspect that we compare ourselves to how our mothers looked at our current age?

I've been I'm the beauty industry for 25 years. I have used some amazing skincare & I've had Botox twice around 8 years ago. I also had my lips very very slightly plumped.
The results were amazing the first time,I got pressure headaches the second time.
Women judge each other. Men judge women. We are too fat (several threads lately),we look tired,we look our age. If women choose to do something about it,they are vain & some people are rubbing their hands in glee that the stupid vain individuals will rue the day they injected poison into their faces.
I have seen some amazing work,the best Botox leaves people looking rested not shiny & ridiculous. In my opinion,if something bothers you,you have the choice to fix it. It may be bleaching your teeth,it may be losing weight or it may be having surgical procedures. Really,I applaud someone who decides they want something & get it. That may be getting a boob job,it may be getting Botox,how do someone's choices affect another person?
Some of the best results I've had are for people with acne or extreme sensitivity. That can be life changing,just sorting someone's skin so like what they see when they look in the mirror. Don't underestimate the good it can do too.

What really annoys me is that every year there seems to be yet another procedure that becomes "normal" ie. done by the majority or a significant minority.

For example manicures and fake tan used to be really rare, now loads of women do it. Teeth whitening, bikini waxes, etc - much much more common than they used to be. Botox and fillers are going that way I suspect.

The problem with this is that women who don't get these things done, who in the olden days would have been thought to look perfectly nice, now look a bit shit by comparison with all the women who do get these things done.

It's just setting the bar ever higher for "looking good" or at least "looking groomed". And that means more and more time and money (unless you just decide to opt out and not care that you look crap compared to everyone around you).

Yy minipie
Applying a bit of mascara and powder is within the reach of most women. Regular Botox/ fillers/ (even hair extensions and false lashes and nails tbh) are not. And so not only are we all being judged by how we look, we're being judged against a "higher bar"
That's why it feels like cheating.
It's actually becoming normal to spend thousands of pounds every few months just on our looks. Or, looking shit by comparison.

I Would definitely consider Botox.
But just as I reach retirement age when might "need" it most, I'd have a drop in income meaning I'd be unable to afford it. So it seems foolish to start.

For those saying "we can tell, we can tell!" I'd put money on the fact that of those women you know, far more than you think have had it and you don't actually know.

I know of eight people who have admitted to having it. One of them I could have guessed. One had botox in loads of different areas of her face to even up her features. I would never have known.

I don't think there are many of us who spend thousands on our appearance. My botox costs £170 for two areas (I actually only have one very deep line but it takes two vials) and I have it done every six months, that's less than £30 a month averaged out.

I applaud women who are satisfied and happy to just say 'fuck all this fake shit I'm great as I am'.

I mean really it's an industry based on creating insecurity in the pursuit of a supposed ideal.

Most men don't buy into all this crap and they aren't fussed about fake tans, acrylic nails and bare muffs or a few lines.

£30 a month is £360 a year. So not thousands, no.
But nobody is actually getting younger. So the number of areas and frequency required are going to increase.
And that's just on Botox. Not counting teeth whitening, hair extensions, tanning, manicures, false eyelashes...
Besides. Using Botox now might well give a great result, but like so many things I'm willing to bet that many ppl find a few years down the line it isn't enough, they need fillers and a lift, and lasering of those pesky age spots.

What are they like on the inside? As people?

Indeed. Could they possibly be human? With thoughts and emotions just like real people? Imagine if they were...

I agree with minipie and the poster/s upthread who said similar.

if everyone is doing it and you don't then that becomes like a stance, you're different, you maybe aren't "looking after yourself", you're not doing what everyone else in your boat does. That is not a comfortable place to be so no-one can blame another for caving and joining in.

So, where I work, botox is really quite normal, for women. I will have a look tomorrow and see what the men are up to in terms of forehead action but I haven't noticed any of them whereas women everywhere. Of course men can go grey as well and I can't think of a woman with grey hair (except where it's due for a due IYSWIM!).

So, a few years back, botox was not heard of, normal faces were normal.
Then a few people had it and most people though, that seems a bit extreme it's not for me.
Now it's commonplace if you're over about 38....

I like to think I wouldn't BUT if all 40+ women have that botoxed look suddenly you look really odd -IYSWIM. And so you cave.

I have a few years yet i hope.

I sat in the pub the other day agreeing with my friend that yes her new botox was much more subtle than the old while eyeing the unmoving shine. But I'm nice, you know. I said she looked great. And she does, she is very glamorous, and very botoxed. That's normal now.

Sorry that was a ramble

due for a DYE FGS sorry

That's the problem as new anti aging treatments become available the bar is always being raised.

I think men are also increasingly being marketed at by the beauty industry.
A previously untapped and perhaps untappable market because caring about your appearance wasn't manly.

As attitudes change a tipping point is reached et voila! Lots of guys ripe for the picking, botox, hair transplants, 'moob' reduction

Thank god I work in the industry I do, where women are valued and so is experience. I'm 44; I have never had Botox, whitened my teeth, had a fake tan or covered up my grey hair and I never wear make up. I don't look odd or unusual; I look like a normal 44 year old woman. I have never felt any need or desire to look younger than I am. I know I'm very lucky to be confident in who I am and how I look, and I wish more people could feel the same.

I am no more or less valued I work with mainly men I doubt they would notice. I am up to my eyes in plaster etc half the time yet still wear make up etc

You can always tell straight away. I'd rather have lines. It's the same with designer handbags. I don't see them as a status symbol, but "that person spent $$$ on a handbag". Glad I'm not that person...