getting annoyed at botoxed friends getting told how young they look

[joshandjamie]

Yes, I probably am being unreasonable. And yes, I should remove my judgey pants from my overly clenched buttocks, BUT:

several of the mums from school who I hang out with have botox. And fillers. And liposuction and any other range of artificial beautifying processes beyond the normal hair, manis and make up. Each to their own. I would personally never do it because I worry about the safety side of things AND it feels like cheating.

What irritates me is that whenever they post pics of themselves on Facebook or even go out in real life, they always get loads of comments raving about how young they look, that they haven't aged a day since high school and that they're just getting more stunning by the minute. In contrast I look like the wrinkled crone in the corner.

It makes me want to yell: THAT BECAUSE THEY HAVE PUMPED THEIR FACES FULL OF BOTOX!!!

I'm going to guess that that would be unreasonable to do. (Doesn't mean I wouldn't love to do it. Just once).

I realise this makes me sound like a huge cow and I know that they are perfectly entitled to do what they like and feel good about themselves when people notice. I just think it's slightly unfair that those of us who don't 'cheat' get viewed as being old or having let themselves go, if we don't go the botox route. Am I being unreasonable to feel this way?

[Mrsjayy]

I wouldnt get worked up about it they are vain and love the way they look which is fair enough but they will all start to look the same shiney forehead blank expression meh leave them to it ,

[TheFirmament]

Actually you're right that "I put toxic artificial chemicals on my hair", and I don't mind that phrase being used, just as I think sticking needles in/cutting up faces is also the truth. I also stick toxic artificial colours on my toenails.

But my hair is dead, so are my toenails, and it doesn't mess with living parts of me that have to heal or metabolise poison. There is a difference.

Also, we're all surrounded by toxic chemicals all the time but we have defences against them - skin is one. With botox and surgery you're deliberately harming the body to get the results you want. It is complicated and not straightforward, but something about that feels wrong.

It's hypocritical though because for example I don't feel so strongly about ear piercing (except for babies).

But I also very much agree that it's all one great big sliding scale, and we all have our dividing lines in different places. I think dying my hair is fine and botox is something I would never do - I understand other people see it differently.

[angeltulips]

I loathe it. My mother gets lots of fillers and Botox (along with facial peels, and we suspect a facelift) and she is always on at me to start (she gave me a Botox certificate for my 30th birthday). As she has continued her face has become different, and she doesn't look like my mother anymore - plus she is becoming fixated on her looks, to he point she is less interested in everything else going on around her.

I do resent it when eg my friends say "well with your genes you're going to look great when you're old, your mum's gorgeous" - I always respond with "well yes but she's had a lot of work done" which people are shocked at. But it's like their compliments validate her at the expense of everything else.

Ultimately I think she now has a fear of ageing and Botox etc has fed that to the point it's becoming unhealthy. And I hate the way our society validates that as a legitimate goal.

[Mrsjayy]

That is quite sad that your mum doesnt look like herself ,

[TheFirmament]

Also re botox being reversible - yes it wears off, but I think what I meant was more that we don't know what it's doing to you long-term. You can't change the fact that you injected yourself with poison and your body had to deal with it. A bit like alcohol. It wears off, but if you've had too much, 30 years down the line you get cirrhosis and that's not reversible. (Though obviously in the case of botox we don't know yet)

[sebsmummy1]

My Mum is in her seventies and looks amazing. Never had anything done, is a size 10/12, people make comments about it all the time. I unfortunately take after my father lol. Disappointing

[Suzannewithaplan]

I wonder how long it will be till we can all look 30 when we are 90?

People will laugh in disbelief at the way we used to let nature take it's course.

[Suzannewithaplan]

I could point out that the chemicals in hair dye are absorbed through the scalp, some people have very severe reactions.

[Nancy66]

In my experience people who have a lot of work done don't look younger at all - quite the reverse. They look like a plumped, stretched version of themselves but still the same age, or older. Look at Melanie Griffith, she's had endless work done, does she look 46 instead of 56 though? Nope.

[Suzannewithaplan]

Any arguments that we make defending some enhancements and decrying others are easy to fault and usually self serving.

[Mrsjayy]

I think looking at a women in her 40s with botox is confusing you know her age but her skin is so tight and shiney Imo it looks peculiar you see them over done on tv

[Nancy66]

A lot of what people think is Botox is actually a face or brow lift.

[Mrsjayy]

Dolly parton who I love looks like a 69 yr old woman who has had her face done more than once

[Suzannewithaplan]

Some work looks a bit strange to me but some women do look much younger, Lulu looks especially good...doesn't she?

[Wickeddevil]

I agree with you thewordfactory that ageing is seen as letting yourself go, but I rail against Botox as normal. People who have had Botox don't look normal, they. Look. Odd.

And as an aside why the hell does the ipad insist on the capital B? What Kind of conspiracy is that?

[TheLovelyBoots]

The plastic surgery victim is a special kind of bad, isn't it?

[Nancy66]

Kylie and Nicole Kidman - that ain't Botox.

[bragmatic]

There were a couple of french women in the bakery today. They were greying naturally, wore no makeup, and had fully functioning faces.

They were slim, but not skinny, and dressed in that casual layered look in great colours. Both of them looked great. Effortless.

Sometimes my 'no botox' rule wavers and I think....'maybe just a teeeeeny bit?' I looked at these woman and thought 'no way, I want to be like them'.

I'd like to grow my colour out and not hide my greys' anymore but balk at the in-between stage.

[sebsmummy1]

Oh god I am so getting myself a brow lift in the future, that's a given. My eyes are shocking.

[Gennz]

I have botox about once a year on the deep furrow between my eyebrows (not at the moment though as am pregnant). Have occasionally had it on my crow's feet as well.

I get my hair coloured every 10 weeks or so and get spray tans in summer. Other than that I'm pretty low maintenance.

Telling me I'm not a feminist because I've had a few injectables is laughable. Also the idea that all women who've had work done look scary and plastic is also totally wrong - bad/too much work looks scary, good/restrained work looks great.

[Nancy66]

Gennz I agree, good Botox is not detectable.

[Gennz]

Me too sebsmummy a woman I know had one and she looks fantastic. They do it under local and the procedure looks far less scary than I thought it would.

[Mrsjayy]

Its when they get the lips plumped what do they put in ? Big comedy lips makes me laugh,

[ApocalypseThen]

I think the there's a certain amount of spitefulness in gloating at the prospect that women with Botox may look worse in ten years than those who haven't had it. That's not rejecting the values that lead some to get it done, so it just sounds pointlessly malicious.

[bragmatic]

Any arguments that we make defending some enhancements and decrying others are easy to fault and usually self serving

Yes, I'm guilty of that. For example, I'm all for decrying the current trend of ripping hair out by the roots, but damn it I shall pluck that bastard hair from my cheek.