getting annoyed at botoxed friends getting told how young they look

[joshandjamie]

Yes, I probably am being unreasonable. And yes, I should remove my judgey pants from my overly clenched buttocks, BUT:

several of the mums from school who I hang out with have botox. And fillers. And liposuction and any other range of artificial beautifying processes beyond the normal hair, manis and make up. Each to their own. I would personally never do it because I worry about the safety side of things AND it feels like cheating.

What irritates me is that whenever they post pics of themselves on Facebook or even go out in real life, they always get loads of comments raving about how young they look, that they haven't aged a day since high school and that they're just getting more stunning by the minute. In contrast I look like the wrinkled crone in the corner.

It makes me want to yell: THAT BECAUSE THEY HAVE PUMPED THEIR FACES FULL OF BOTOX!!!

I'm going to guess that that would be unreasonable to do. (Doesn't mean I wouldn't love to do it. Just once).

I realise this makes me sound like a huge cow and I know that they are perfectly entitled to do what they like and feel good about themselves when people notice. I just think it's slightly unfair that those of us who don't 'cheat' get viewed as being old or having let themselves go, if we don't go the botox route. Am I being unreasonable to feel this way?

[Suzannewithaplan]

i have to say that the lack of forehead corrugation does tend to be an instant giveaway for botox

[noddyholder]

It doesn't always mean a totally smooth forehead my own family didn't even notice mine just though I looked well. Interestingly we had this thread before and someone who said they could always tell. I put a picture of myself on here before id had it done and this person said yes definitely and started taking the picture apart telling us why she could tell I had had Botox and it was the before pic

[Floisme]

I remember that pic, Noddy did you tell her?

I agree that you probably can't tell the first few times but I do think it becomes more noticeable after prolonged use. That may be because people increase the dose or start getting other work done as well - I can imagine that must be very tempting.

[noddyholder]

Some people you can tell from the other side of the room! I actually have it less and less as I am not after looking younger and the less I have the better it looks. Fillers are more visible in some I think but I think each to their own.

[Floisme]

I agree, each to their own but I do think it's interesting to talk about it.

[noddyholder]

Yes it really is. So he people feel happier when they like what they see in the mirror but it can't make you happy iykwim I am already happy and don't mind how I look without plus I have so little but I like the fact I can wear no make up a lot more and not look knackered.

[ChelsyHandy]

Are you sure they have Botox? I have been told, somewhat bizarrely, that I have Botox in my lips! No, I have inherited not entirely European lips from my mother. But theres an assumption in the UK that you have to look like the average British mid forties woman, otherwise you must be having some "unfair help". You are obviously meant to let yourself go and not bother about your appearance, other than having the standard pudding bowl haircut or mid length layered haircut and being a size 14/16, and if you don't fit into that, it must be because you are having some "outside help".

I had Botox for the first time earlier this year. Not in my forehead, in my jaw. Because I grind my teeth and have a small scar on my chin which has been relaxed by it. Has been amazingly effective. I had some in my forehead and round my eyes a month later too and it does make me look fresher, which pleases me. Not anyone else, and certainly not the woman round the school gates, who seem to exist only to comment on the appearance of other women. If I had deep grooves, I would certainly consider fillers, but of my own fat used in another area of my body. But that's expensive, and I don't need it.

However, am I the only one on this thread noticing the contradiction between criticising other women for taking care of their appearance and being judgemental? If you can't take it, don't dish it out OP. I am therefore assuming you yourself are perfect.

[noddyholder]

I agree chelsy that not looking how people perceive you should attracts criticism not sure why.

[Diorella]

i don't look like that stereotype! Nobody would know I have it.

I only get the frown lines done, so I look corrugated but happy. I don't have shellac nails or highlights. I live in navy v-necks, dark jeans and pumps. So. Not. Obvious. :-|

[atticusclaw]

I'm obviously an horrendous person since not only do I get the one deep line done (nothing around the eyes or anything) but horror of horrors I have also had my beard and moustache lasered.

I expect some sort of public beating of course for daring to remove it. I should just allow the ageing process to happen and be mistaken for my husband.

[noddyholder]

Diorella me too I am not in any way glam and Dp says no one would expect me to have it. I live in skinny jeans and trainers a lot of the tine cut my own hair and bare nails etc.

[CouldntGiveAMonkeysToss]

Each to their own! It's because we live in a society where youth and beauty are highly valued especially in women. Once a woman goes through the menopause she is basically invisible. It's so wrong.
I am only 26 so don't have wrinkles yet but I'm not particularly bothered about the aging process, it's natural and happens to everyone.
I have never seen anyone as wrinkly as my great grandmother was, she looked like a prune but I absolutely adored her, she was a wonderful, strong woman and very ahead of her time. She lived through two wars and had a tough life but considered herself lucky compared to some. I loved every wrinkle on her face and she was beautiful to me.
Wrinkles and white hair doesn't equal ugly or worthless.
I don't judge anyone for having beauty treatments but I do think it's a bit sad that our society puts so much value on a person's appearance.

[CouldntGiveAMonkeysToss]

Actually it's more than just appearance, it's being "sexy". Women are expected to be sexy all the time and if she's not sexy then she's worthless. It comes down to women being viewed as sex objects. Feminism still has a long way to go.

[ChelsyHandy]

Couldntgiveamonekys Actually it's more than just appearance, it's being "sexy". Women are expected to be sexy all the time and if she's not sexy then she's worthless. It comes down to women being viewed as sex objects. Feminism still has a long way to go

I think it depends on your social circles. I do a lot of competitive sport, and I have several friends in their fifties who look younger than those in their thirties, not due to botox and fillers but due to being fit and slim. Their appearance is more functional rather than the fake tan, hair extensions, shellac nails look. Then again, if you have a degree, good career and outside interests, life for a woman is very rarely about "looking sexy".

[noddyholder]

Sexy is a natural thing not botox or muscles. You know it when you see it but its not really about age or size ime. I am almost 49 I still feel good and want to look the way I want I don't feel pressure though i do what i can when I have time. Some of my friends do a lot more some do nothing we all look the same age wise its just how you feel happy. If you enjoy it its not pressure although as you age if you want to keep all that going there is no doubt it costs more and takes more time.

[FrancesNiadova]

TMI so advanced apologies:
Aged 43 I had an accident & am now disabled in 1 leg, will always need crutches/Zimmer & a wheelchair on bad days.
Aged 44 I was diagnosed with breast cancer & had a mastectomy.

My life & my priorities have totally changed.

I couldn't give a shiny sh*t about the odd grey hair & wrinkle now!

[noddyholder]

It is funny how serious ill health changes you. I am less bothered by career etc and material things but still love fashion and style etc We are all different Hope you have recovered well and are enjoying yourself nothing more important than health

[fromparistoberlin73]

FrancesNiadov, wishing you the best of health and happiness- what a tough couple of years you have had x

[fromparistoberlin73]

I dont understand why people who have had treatment feel the need to defend themselves

I dont understand why people who are aging naturally feel the need to defend themselves

FFS its anoither WOHM/SAHM silliness


fuck everyone else and do what you want, and stop judging other people. innit!

[Stupidhead]

My best pal started with Botox 5 years ago, after her second lot we went out for drinks. She found a group of young men (we were 40)and demanded they tell her how old she looked. They told her 36 but her mate (me) looked 27 hahahah! Obviously hard drinking and smoking is the way to go...

I love her to bits but she's got that cross eyebrow thing going on now which is a bit scary - yes I've told her!

[noddyholder]

Agree fromparis I don't think most people care.

[ApocalypseThen]

They told her 36 but her mate (me) looked 27 hahahah!

You do sound very fond of this woman.

[WyrdByrd]

They get those comments probably because most of the people they are friends with are fans of this kind of stuff and want to make sure it's reciprocated!

FWIW the couple of people I know who have botox definitely look good, but not drastically younger imho so I would take it all with a pinch of salt and find something else to stress about tbh.

[Stupidhead]

Honestly I love her! she just has a thingy for younger men and I thought 'here we go again'! Sorry if it came across like a bitch

[ApocalypseThen]

Well I personally wouldn't want a friend who thought about me like that.