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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have told dd2 the truth in a public loo?

513 replies

HattyMonkey · 21/07/2014 22:48

I am on my period, dd2 aged 3 nearly 4 is aware that I bleed sometimes and I have always answered honestly to any questions. In Debenhams today we went to the toilet and she saw I was "on" she said loudly (she has a very carrying voice) "Mummy you have blood does that mean you are not having a baby?" I replied quietly ( I thought) "that's right".

We left the cubicle and woman confronted me in quite an angry manner saying "next time you want to discuss the facts of life with your kid check who is about, my Son is traumatised"

I was so shocked I said nothing, did I do something wrong? I know everyone parents differently but I don't think I did anything wrong.

OP posts:
IndiansInTheLobby · 21/07/2014 22:49

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IndiansInTheLobby · 21/07/2014 22:50

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sonlypuppyfat · 21/07/2014 22:51

So he's never going to have a relationship with a woman then?

Bearbehind · 21/07/2014 22:51

Did that really happen? Hmm

On what planet do you show anyone else evidence of your period?

SiennaBlake · 21/07/2014 22:52

I don't think she expressed it in the right way but I think she had a point. It's maybe not a conversation you should have that other children may overhear. Not because of any "omg the precious children can't know about period bleeding" reasons but it's one of those topics that not everyone wants their child to know about at a young age along with sex and other stuff. Plus overhearing that might sound like you were explaining miscarriage rather than a period and she may have jumped to that conclusion.

KillmeNow · 21/07/2014 22:52

Ignore Ignore Ignore.

Lord knows why the son was traumatised by an anonymous person NOT having a baby .

Some people can have an argument in an empty house. You were just handy.

DirtyDancing · 21/07/2014 22:52

She was being unreasonable. My guess is she felt uncomfortable, and her son probably didn't even notice. If he did then he's old enough to use the men's loos rather than go into the ladies with his mum...

SecretRed · 21/07/2014 22:52

Ha ha ha at traumatised!

SanityClause · 21/07/2014 22:52

How could her son be traumatised from that conversation?

Weirdo!

(Her, not you.)

OscarWinningActress · 21/07/2014 22:52

I would think if her son was old enough to be 'traumatized' by this information then he should have been using the restroom reserved expressly for boys and men.

Mim78 · 21/07/2014 22:53

She was being ridiculous. Why was her ds traumatised to hear you were not having a baby? Did he hope you were? Wink

HattyMonkey · 21/07/2014 22:53

Bearbehind when your dd is stood in front of you as you change your pad?

OP posts:
Hakluyt · 21/07/2014 22:53

This reply has been deleted

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inabranstonpickle · 21/07/2014 22:53

I didn't think of the miscarriage possibility but that's a good point Sienna made. I don't think you did anything wrong though!

RevoltingPeasant · 21/07/2014 22:54

You should have told her not to be so ridiculous! What exactly is a young boy who doesn't know "the facts of life" going to understand from "you have some blood, you are not having a baby"?

Tell her to keep her son out of the ladies' if she doesn't want him overhearing women talking.

MsVestibule · 21/07/2014 22:54

I genuinely don't understand how that exchange could traumatise anybody Confused.

To somebody who didn't understand/know what a period was, it would make no sense whatsoever.

Bearbehind · 21/07/2014 22:54

OMFG - seriously- even in a toilet cubicle you can turn round so they don't actually see everything.

ICanHearYou · 21/07/2014 22:55

I would have said exactly the same. Probably looked at the woman with my mouth wide open in shock though.

Its a good opportunity for her to explain to him the ways of the woman, not to be scared of it.

BasketzatDawn · 21/07/2014 22:55

Grin at 'my son is traumatised'. If that's really all that was said, then she/the other mother is the one that's being weird. I hope her son doesn't turn into to a pillock when he grows up, one that can't discuss female bodies or indeed male ones. I think too she has, like so many others these days, OveruseofthewordTraumatised syndrome.Grin

RevoltingPeasant · 21/07/2014 22:56

And at the same age I was fully aware of mum's period, saw used sanitary towels etc. it was always very normal to me, which was great because it was never some big horrible revelation.

ashtrayheart · 21/07/2014 22:56

I am so glad I have a mirena Confused

HattyMonkey · 21/07/2014 22:56

Thanks everyone, I have explained periods in the simplest terms to dd2 as it is the body's way of getting ready for a baby and if you aren't having one you let go of the "food" that would be used.

OP posts:
DragonMamma · 21/07/2014 22:56

YANBU but I wouldn't be changing my sanpro in front of my knowing child boak

My mum never did it and I remained totally liberal and normal. I just don't think my DD needs to see me dragging a tampon out of me and then sticking a new one in.

ElizabethLemon · 21/07/2014 22:56

Haha Indians, my ds (3) shouts "oh no, you've got the red wee!"

Op, I don't think ywbu.

knitknack · 21/07/2014 22:57

Oh my gosh, what an arsehole! Moments like that are exactly how your daughter should be learning about periods etc... And in a female toilet those are exactly the conversations one should be able to have!

That woman was showing some male privilege on behalf of her very young son!!! Start 'em early - the the womanz mustn't talk about their bodies in the hearing of the precious boys....

You sound awesome.

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