Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have told dd2 the truth in a public loo?

513 replies

HattyMonkey · 21/07/2014 22:48

I am on my period, dd2 aged 3 nearly 4 is aware that I bleed sometimes and I have always answered honestly to any questions. In Debenhams today we went to the toilet and she saw I was "on" she said loudly (she has a very carrying voice) "Mummy you have blood does that mean you are not having a baby?" I replied quietly ( I thought) "that's right".

We left the cubicle and woman confronted me in quite an angry manner saying "next time you want to discuss the facts of life with your kid check who is about, my Son is traumatised"

I was so shocked I said nothing, did I do something wrong? I know everyone parents differently but I don't think I did anything wrong.

OP posts:
TheReluctantCountess · 21/07/2014 22:57
Biscuit
SandorClegane · 21/07/2014 22:57

Why would it be so awful for a child to see that her mother has her period bearbehind? I don't really understand all your omfg-ing.

As for the mother in the toilets, ignore, issues.

SiennaBlake · 21/07/2014 22:58

I'm a bit surprised by the OMGZ YOU SHOW YOUR CHILD YOUR SANPRO stuff. She didn't wave it in her dds face!

NatashaBee · 21/07/2014 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
HattyMonkey · 21/07/2014 22:58

Bearbehind why should they not? It is not something to be ashamed of surely, a natural thing that she will someday have? or should I just go back a Century and let her think she is dying when she starts bleeding?

OP posts:
Bearbehind · 21/07/2014 22:59

Why would it be so awful for a child to see that her mother has her period bearbehind? I don't really understand all your omfg-ing.

Really- where do you draw the line - this is how mummy and daddy make babies?

It's totally unnecessary to show a 3 year old a used sanitary pad.

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/07/2014 22:59

Bearbehind if DD sees a pad/tampon, she asks, she comes into the toilet with me, she is very curious about everything. I also don't want to behave as if things are shameful, I don't want to make her worried about my body or her body.

I've had weird looks because she knows a baby is in her 'Mummy's uterus' rather than tummy. I get Hmm

Lucylouby · 21/07/2014 23:00

I have no idea how you would conceal a period from a young child in a toilet cubicle, nor have I ever really tried. It's just a period and I'm sure her son wasn't that traumatised by the experience. The mother was probably panicking in case he asks questions about what he heard and she has to answer.
I'm just remembering when my dd was about three, and she asked very loudly in a public toilet why I had pooed myself. She thought the blood was poo, she wouldn't know it would be anything else and i was mortified as I had to come out of the cubicle when we were done.

You did nothing wrong and often honesty is the best policy.

Freckletoes · 21/07/2014 23:01

Another one who has managed to raise 3 non prudish and well informed kids without having to have them see me change sanpro and deal with 2 miscarriages.

SandorClegane · 21/07/2014 23:01

Yeah because changing your sanitary towel in front of your child without being secretive and ashamed us totally equivalent to having sex in front of them. Omfg indeed.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 21/07/2014 23:01

I don't think she was right. But I had the same response as sienna, thinking you were explaining a miscarriage. I bet that's what the other woman thought too, and maybe she was upset?

RevoltingPeasant · 21/07/2014 23:02

OP quite. I don't remember not knowing what period blood looked like.

So when I got my first period at 13 whilst babysitting at a neighbour's house, I didn't freak out or wonder why there was so much. It was still bloody embarrassing though Grin

ElephantsNeverForgive · 21/07/2014 23:02

No locks on the bathroom doors here, so DDs have always known about such things.

The lack of bolts, is slightly puzzling as their are no holes suggesing there ever were any.

DD1 was a total fiddler crab and absolutely certain to lock her self in, so we never bothered.

WorraLiberty · 21/07/2014 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ThatBloodyWoman · 21/07/2014 23:03

My dd came up to me in a busy public place the other day, waving a tampax in the air and asking very loudly 'whats this I found in your bag Mum'?

She was really insistent on getting to the bottom of it all, much to the amusement of several onlookers.

I wasn't prepared to discuss it with her at that point, I have to admit Blush

ElephantsNeverForgive · 21/07/2014 23:04

There. There/their is driving me nuts tonight, my dyslexic brain sends the wrong one to my typing finger.

Bearbehind · 21/07/2014 23:04

PMSL worra I haven't heard that for years Grin

Original poster
HattyMonkey · 21/07/2014 23:06

Bearbehind just to let you know I didn't actually wave my pad in her face, I have very heavy periods and had no choice but to change there and then. I did not want to leave her alone while I went into the cubicle. As for the biscuit waving posters I haven't name changed and used to be PeppaPigMustDie. I can't be the only poster to be getting fed up of having to justify every post on here!

OP posts:
Heebiejeebie · 21/07/2014 23:06

Ffs. I can't believe there was a random woman in toilet shouting that. But even more I can't believe there are people posting who would rather the human body is a giant mystery to children prior to some potentially traumatic 'tah-dah' at a randomly chosen age. We breathe, we pee, we bleed, we reproduce. When they ask, when they see, tell them. Periods are not WOMEN'S SHAME. They are excreting unnecessary stuff, like urine or carbon dioxide or bile salts.

fairylightsintheloft · 21/07/2014 23:06

DD (just 3) followed me into the loo last week and short of physically ejecting her and causing a huge meltdown which I considered unnecessary, there was no way to prevent her seeing me change a tampon. even if I dd turn my back she'd still see. I was pretty vague, just said it was what grown up ladies do sometimes and not to worry but I will have no problem explaining more if she asks me. The more you normalise it, the fewer issues they will have (I hope)

Pooka · 21/07/2014 23:06

Having had three children accompanying me to the loo many times I see changing tampons/towels as no different to pooing or peeing in their presence.

It's absolutely no big deal. It's not a dirty secret. And is nothing at all like allowing them to watch sex - ridiculous analogy.

RevoltingPeasant · 21/07/2014 23:07

LRD in which case her response is even worse. For the love of god, can you imagine shouting at a woman in public who was having a miscarriage because her curious preschooler had asked about it?

If I was MC and somebody spoke to me like that I'd go fucking apeshit and give her son a whole lot more to be traumatised about!

ThatWasNice · 21/07/2014 23:07

Hmm Really? I mean really? It sounds very strange if the OPs account is accurate.

madwomanacrosstheroad · 21/07/2014 23:07

So can anyone explain to me how you don't change your sanitary protection in front of your small child when out and and about? Is anyone actually suggesting to leave a three or four year old unsupervised outside the cubicle? My eldest used to frequently ask me loudly in the supermarket "do we need mummy nappies" and that was nearly twenty years ago. All my kids knew from an early age about me bleeding, not because i am exhibitionist but because with young kids you usually have some following you to the loo and as kids associate blood with injury they need the assurance that it is normal and natural.

AgentProvocateur · 21/07/2014 23:08

If I overheard that, I'd think you were having a miscarriage too. I'm sure that's what the woman must have thought.