To have told dd2 the truth in a public loo?

[HattyMonkey]

I am on my period, dd2 aged 3 nearly 4 is aware that I bleed sometimes and I have always answered honestly to any questions. In Debenhams today we went to the toilet and she saw I was "on" she said loudly (she has a very carrying voice) "Mummy you have blood does that mean you are not having a baby?" I replied quietly ( I thought) "that's right".

We left the cubicle and woman confronted me in quite an angry manner saying "next time you want to discuss the facts of life with your kid check who is about, my Son is traumatised"

I was so shocked I said nothing, did I do something wrong? I know everyone parents differently but I don't think I did anything wrong.

Ok- serious question- how many people actually remember their Mum doing this as I sure as fuck don't and I don't feel I missed out because of it!

Turbo I did thank other posters up thread for not making me feel like a wierdo but thank you again. I just felt I should answer any questions.

Is anyone actually suggesting to leave a three or four year old unsupervised outside the cubicle?

I only have a son but in somewhere like Debenhams I'd have gone into the cubicle, closed but not locked the door, made sure son was at the door and talked to him throughout. It would take , what less than 10 seconds to swap a towel over without us both being crammed in. I can't see that counts as "leaving unsupervised". What is going to happen?

I've never changed a tampon or sanitary towel in front of a small child either. But I can't get myself worked up over the fact that other people do.

(And since people may be curious as to hos I've avoided it, it's yet another advantage of a mooncup. I can empty it before leaving the house and know that it'll be fine until I come home, whereas a tampon wouldn't last nearly as long).

Ha- See my kids would have been opening and closing that door.

It has to be locked!

Honestly Hatty - I'm not suggesting anything.

I flicked through the thread, several suggested that reverting a child seeing you change a tampon was impossible and, in all the time I had small children, mine never did.

That was all I was responding to - the idea that its impossible.

I was horribly embarrassed by periods as a teenager, as they were only ever talked about in our house in hushed tones. My mum did try to tell me about them before I started menstruating, but it was clearly a taboo subject for her and I felt incredibly awkward about the whole thing. I was also horrified by the idea of bleeding every month when I first discovered that this is what would happen. The whole thing was very disturbing.

I therefore made a conscious decision to be very open with dd about periods right from the start, so that she would just see it as a normal fact of life and nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. I appreciate that others may not feel comfortable with this approach and that's fair enough, but why the judgey pants and omfg comments?

Bear I didn't even remember dealing with my own sanpro in front of my own toddlers, specifically speaking, but I know I did. I certainly wasn't going to kick them out of the cubicle into public spaces at the appropriate point

Complete non-issue.

The other woman's reaction was odd. I'm another one who would have assumed you were miscarrying but whether period or miscarriage, still a very odd thing to say.

My mum was always very open about periods, so when I got mine it didn't freak me out at all.

preventing

why are people freaking out about a child seeing period blood on a pad or the changing of a tampon?! I used to be seeing a guy for a few months who had honestly never heard of a cervix and properly believed his mother and sisters didn't have periods because there was never a box of tampons in the bathroom, periods and things were not to be talked about. Reader, I definitely didn't marry him. Or even shag him, after he expressed disgust at once seeing discharge on his ex girlfriend's knickers when she was in the shower

My son has seen me changing tampons since he could walk and glue himself to my trouser leg. It's just a normal part of life. I remember him being alarmed when he caught sight of a leak in my pants but he certainly wasn't traumatised, it's a perfect opportunity to explain these things.

No idea why people are getting tbeir knickers in a twist- my 4yo often comes into the toilet with me. Until recently she's never noticed me having a period but this month she said 'why do you have blood mummy?' . So I told her it's something that happens to mummies when the egg doesn't turn into a baby that month (yes, she knows about eggs and sperm too ) She was fine with that and wandered off to tell her big sister. A couple of days later she noticed me unwrapping a tampon and asked what it was, so I said it was to stop the blood getting on my clothes. Again she was fine. I didn't give demonstration, she didn't see anything that is going to scar her for life fgs!

I'm such an exhibitionist ;)

I can't leave DS out side the door of a public toilet, the hand dryer goes on a he will bolt it. He is 8 but is asd.

I have no choice but to change in front of him and DD, I'm not ashamed of a bodily function which they need to know about anyway.

Thanks Pagwatch I saw Jimmy Hill and thought you were casting doubt on my thread.

Where do you people go where you can fit a small child in the cubicle with you? Most places near me have toilets so small, I can barely get in there myself!

When ds was little and be came into the cubicle with me his job was 'to turn round and guard the lock for mummy' he never came into the loo with me at home-it's good imo to teach children that everyone needs some privacy.

She wbu

I can't see anything wrong with changing tampons etc in front of dc when they are still young enough to need to come into a cubicle.

Nor can I see the harm in pooing in front of them. They poo, I poo. It's fine at least they don't have to wipe my bum like I do them.

How else so you model / normalise going to the toilet when potty training? ?

Bear behind - I don't remember my mother doing it. But that's not to say she didn't. I expect she did, only stopped when I was of an age not to require being in the loo with her anymore, at home or abroad.

So while I know for certain I have changed tampon in presence of ds1, he's now 8 and I haven't in the last few years because he avoids ladies loos like the plague and tends not to need supervision. Ds2 is only just 4 and still comes in the loo with me when we are out and about. He pees, I pee, I change tampon if necessary. While there's no issue with privacy I.e. he is not uncomfortable with nudity/bodily functions of his own or mine, then I don't see the need to do it in secret.

I'm not freaking out.

I don't recall my son as a 3/4 year old being in a cubicle with me when I changed one. It takes only a few seconds to swap a pad over (I said 10 but actually it would not even take that long) and would be quicker to do with only one person in the cubicle. I'm more surprised by so many of you who apparently think the ladies' loo in Debenhams is so dangerous.