To have told dd2 the truth in a public loo?

[HattyMonkey]

I am on my period, dd2 aged 3 nearly 4 is aware that I bleed sometimes and I have always answered honestly to any questions. In Debenhams today we went to the toilet and she saw I was "on" she said loudly (she has a very carrying voice) "Mummy you have blood does that mean you are not having a baby?" I replied quietly ( I thought) "that's right".

We left the cubicle and woman confronted me in quite an angry manner saying "next time you want to discuss the facts of life with your kid check who is about, my Son is traumatised"

I was so shocked I said nothing, did I do something wrong? I know everyone parents differently but I don't think I did anything wrong.

[PhaedraIsMyName]

Oh that thread. Actually one of the reasons I kept them where I did was so any one could use them. I have no need of them now but the basket is still there and still has towels in it. So yes I do keep guest sanitary protection. Presumably it doesn't have a sell by date?

[PunkrockerGirl]

Oxford I patented very well thanks. Been through the toddler stage successfully and clearly have more manners than you, as did my toddlers

Ipswich 'judgemental shit' works both ways. Don't judge me because I set my children clear boundaries and that no meant no.

I showed this thread to my adult children and their partners aged 22, 21, 18 & 18. None of them felt deprived that they had not shared the sight of their mum's sanitary protection. My two were always told no, they could not come into the bathroom with me. If they kicked up a fuss, they were told no again - try it, it works.

You may not think so, but your children will grow up and mine are currently upstairs roaring with laughter at the ridiculousness of some of your replies.

[PunkrockerGirl]

Parented

[Igggi]

So what does a toddler do when locked out of the bathroom? Mine can demolish a room in about 2 mins, not allowing for constipation.

[ipswichwitch]

Punk I am not judging you for having set your children clear boundaries and teaching them no means no. I fail to see where in my post that I have done so.
What I have said is DS has separation anxiety. He is only 2. I have no problem with him coming into the toilet with me, and fail to understand why anybody else would. I am well aware that telling him no in a consistent manner works - I have done so many many times. This is one such time I don't since I don't care if he comes with me or not. It's not about not depriving him of the sight of my tampons. I don't think it's particularly warranted to call my parenting into question simply because I haven't tackled it the same way you did.

[PunkrockerGirl]

I refer to above posts.

Say no over and over again until it sinks in (and I say this as a mother who's toddler was hospitalised because of constipation).

And before you all self diagnose that he was constipated because I chose to empty my bowels in private and told him he had to wait outside. No, don't even go there.

[PunkrockerGirl]

But it was ok to call my parenting into question Ipswich?

[ipswichwitch]

Um, I haven't called your parenting into question and I'm sorry you think I have.

[Montegomongoose]

Im also not about to lock the door to my 4 year old because in this family we are not ashamed of our bodies

I closed the door on my young children because in this family we learned to respect the privacy of others.

[PunkrockerGirl]

What Montego said.

[SirChenjin]

Are we back to the (inaccurate) claim that we're somehow ashamed of our periods and bodies if we lock the door when we're in the loo?

[JohnFarleysRuskin]

Nooooo!

And neither are we back to the (inaccurate) claim that we're incompetent parents if we don't lock the door.

Truce?

[SirChenjin]

I missed that - who accused someone of being an "incompetent parent"?

[JohnFarleysRuskin]

I was trying to make peace, but actually, I did find Punkergirls posts a bit off.

If your 2 year old will try and batter the door down when you're in the loo, maybe it's time said 2 year old learnt the word 'no'.
My two were always told no, they could not come into the bathroom with me. If they kicked up a fuss, they were told no again - try it, it works.

Still, it is just semantics. I don't care what you do with your kids in the loo, and I'm sure you don't care what I do with mine. Genuinely.

(And there's not a passive aggressive subtext here)

[SirChenjin]

I know you were

To be fair though, no-one accused anyone of being an incompetent parent, but there are been accusations of being ashamed of our periods, or feeling shame about our bodies, or of having children who will grow up misinformed if we lock the door and don't let our children see our used sanitary ware - which is both silly and unfounded.

But yes, I agree with you - as I said upthread a couple of times, I really couldn't give a fig whether or not you look the door or not, or whether you let your children see (or however you want to describe the process) your used towels/tampons

[JohnFarleysRuskin]

This thread is a masterclass in the passive aggressive post though isn't it.

I am learning a lot!

[JohnFarleysRuskin]

I am now outraged that you didn't mention mooncups!

[SirChenjin]

It is! Apparently one of my earlier posts was passive-aggressive - which was news to me

Outraged?? Really??? With children dying across the world, you choose to be outraged about my lack of mooncup mentioning??

[bragmatic]

My kids didn't come to the loo with me when at home. If they'd made a fuss, then I'd not have had a problem with them coming in. Pick your battles...etc.

That said, I wasn't about to lock them out of public facilities when they were toddlers. I mean, who would?? So yes, they saw, they asked. And frankly, they forgot.

I've just explained it to them all over again, as they're now 8/9. Old enough to know, and old enough to have forgotten about asking about it in the first place.

[SirChenjin]

When mine were toddlers they were in buggies, so if I went to public toilets they stayed outside the cubicle in their pram. As they got older they stayed outside and put their foot under the door. What on earth was going to happen to them?

So - who would? I would.

They're OK btw - no lasting damage and well into their teens.

[bragmatic]

Well, there you have it. A toddler who does what it's told and stay where it's put.

A rarity in the wild.

I'm sure they're fine and I wasn't suggesting a kid wouldn't be. I've yet to meet a parent who (pants down and half way through changing a sanitary product) would have trusted their darling 2 year old to 'stay there and wait for mummy'.

[SirChenjin]

As I said, my 2 year was in a pram. Much easier for getting around the shopping centre on the odd occasion I felt like venturing out with a 2 year old and baby. They were older when they were able to stay put for the minute it took me to change a towel, as I said in my previous post.

[bragmatic]

Well, this is dangerously close to a discussion about how old kids were when they ditched the pram.

Ain't nobody got the stomach for that shiz.

[SirChenjin]

Whatevs . No way I could have gone round the shops with a strapping toddler and baby at five foot and a bit without the double pushchair.

Anyway, back to the OP...

[bragmatic]

Yes, ok.

The OP engaged in a perfectly normal personal activity, in a public bathroom while in the company of her child, which is also perfectly normal.

Bystander was being VU.

Case closed.